To all you players out there!!!!!

[minnie]

It seems i am living in a world where no one is exclusive anymore. Men have more than one woman, and women have more than one man!!

Most of the time the others dont know they are one of many.

 

My question to anyone who is willing to give me an honest answer is.. What qualities does the person that you have true feelings for got? most of the time the person doing the playing has one person who they really 'love' more than the others. What is it you 'love' about that person compared to the others?

 

Is it simply because they put up with it, or because they didn't - or is it something else??

 

Fill me in.....

[volution]

Tell me about it...

 

Those that are single don't have a chance, because there are very few people left that want a relationship and aren't already in one.

Plus, I believe infidelity is worse in England than most Western countries...

[Cyne]

I agree with you guys. I'm a 20 year old Male looking for someone to be with, to share myself with that person, but it seems all anyone wants is friends with benefits or to go around dating half the city.... it's sad really.

[chai714]

It seems i am living in a world where no one is exclusive anymore. Men have more than one woman, and women have more than one man!!

Most of the time the others dont know they are one of many.

 

I disagree. Seduction outside of marriages/relationships has been going on since the beginning of time. The history of infidelity or cheating goes back into history. While it may seem that way to you now, I assume it's because of the current circumstances that you're dealing with. For the most part though, I subscribe to the idea that most people are good and have good intentions. Most people won't cheat on you, or have multiple girlfriends/boyfriends while in a relationship.

 

My question to anyone who is willing to give me an honest answer is.. What qualities does the person that you have true feelings for got? most of the time the person doing the playing has one person who they really 'love' more than the others. What is it you 'love' about that person compared to the others?

 

Is it simply because they put up with it, or because they didn't - or is it something else??

Fill me in.....

 

I think you're asking why a cheater chooses one person to love over another. The answer will be a case-by-case basis. It all depends on what qualities he/she is looking for. Good sex? Lots in common? Usually, it is a balance between the two but it all depends on the dynamics of their relationship. If it is purely sexual and they don't spend any real time together, then it is merely sex that keeps him coming back. If they hang out and spend some quality time, then she has something else that fulfills his emotions. Get the picture?

[Day_Walker]

The person that you "love" more than most just has most of the qualities that you are looking for. It could be a different combination of things but it all has to relate to how they feel about that person. The way that person makes them feel, the way they feel about them and that just doesnt compare to the other girls or guys.

[RandomAdvisor]

The people you know sound pretty shady. Although infidelity is a lot more common than we'd all like it to be on this board, I don't think it's as widespread as you're seeing it amoung the whole population. Hang out in different circles, meet different kinds of people, and you'll get different views. You're young. I'm curious, are these people you know from school mostly?

[minnie]

To be honest i think people from my school would be more faithful in a relationship.

 

Its just what i see going on, what i hear about people, this girl is with this man, but i thought he was with someone else, and he is. Then i hear from my friend that he is with her friend. To top it all off they are all fighting for his 'love' then i hear the first girl has someone on the side too! she is trying her hardest not to make her 'man' find out or he would flip (???)

 

I know its not all like this but its overwhelming.

 

I met a guy - he is with someone (doesn't know i know) but he is acting as if i am the only woman for him. He wont leave me alone - all this attention is flattering but, NO WAY!!!

 

It just got me thinking why do they do it, how can they do it.

 

I think its good if everyone knows where they stand and thats what everyone wants but otherwise its terrible... I will never understand.

[chai714]

I met a guy - he is with someone (doesn't know i know) but he is acting as if i am the only woman for him. He wont leave me alone - all this attention is flattering but, NO WAY!!!

 

It just got me thinking why do they do it, how can they do it.

 

I think its good if everyone knows where they stand and thats what everyone wants but otherwise its terrible... I will never understand.

 

If you don't understand it all, realize this: Anyone can be seduced - married, unmarried, or what have you. Does that make it right? No. But it can happen and does happen.

[combat_barbie]

I definitely agree on this point. I have a male friend who I knew was cheating on his girlfriend while she was away as if it was nothing. I once asked him how he could do that and then go tell his girlfriend he loved her. He said he didn't really care about the other girls he was jsut having fun while his girlfriend was away. I guess people are starting to have more lax attitudes more of a what you don't know won't hurt you. I would draw the line though before this but then again I've fooled around with a guy only later to find otu he was engaged. The majority of guys I know have cheated at some point and also the majority of girl I know have been with guys they knew were cheating or have cheated themselve.

[pineapple_juice]

Don't exaggerate because there are lots of people who never cheat on thier partners.

[djedix]

Let's face it, people will do what's best for them.. anyone would do it. It's very selfish and very horrible.

 

Anyone can be seduced... so very true.. seduced not just by love for any other thing they want to... again for what's best for THEM. People manipulate each other, again for self gain, or whatever they are after... sex, money, status...

 

I dont think the majority of people act like this but more and more are, because we glorfy it in the media, and on TV, and on the internet... and to them it's not doing anythign wrong..

[scooterbiscuit]

I think fidelity is a choice. My personal belief is that cheating is morally wrong and thereforeeee not something I would ever ever do. Not that I haven't been in situations where I could have cheated. The reason I chose not to is out of respect for my partner and respect for myself. I would not be able to live knowing that I had cheated on my partner and broken my values. I think once you do cheat it's a slippery slope - how can you ever trust yourself ever again.