BF/GF Stealer

[setsuko1981]

I'm just curious if there's any member here who had experienced this situation:

 

Have you ever met someone who had REALLY "left an impression" (you started liking this person) on you. But this person you liked has a significant other, and you are not even sure if this person liked you.

 

What did you do? Did you try to "steal" this person from the significant other? Did you put respect ahead of love and just left this person alone? Did you wait on the "sidelines" and wait for this person to break up with the significant other, so you can be the new significant other?

[DarknHandsome]

ive always had a strict non-interferance policy regarding attached people. its dishonorable to try and steal someone's girlfriend imo

[HajiMaji]

Im going to agree. Really, if you 'steal' someone who is involved in a relationship youre stolen relationship will have problems. It takes time to move on from one relationship to the next. The best solution is if this person you are attracted to becomes single and you give him/her long enough to moarn the relationship. Then, you can give it a go. If you get involved with someone who hasnt healed from their previous relationship you are going to get screwed in the long run.

[DropToZero]

Basically...I seem to have a strong belief of "What goes around, comes around..." So, I wouldn't recommend trying it in the first place no matter what's goin on, if the feelings are that strong, wait till the other person has broken up with their s/o. Then after that, by all means...all's fair in love and war.

[CATLOVER]

I agree with the above. If you dont fancy someone muscling in on your relationship.......then dont do it to others. Otherwise you have no right to be upset if it is done to you.

 

 

not sying you would ...but just my policy

[Gilgamesh]

Here is a question, are you attracted to women/men that flirt with people other than their partner? there are two kinds of people, those that flirt with others while in a relationship and those that don't.

 

So it is simple logic, if someone in a relationship is the type of person that will flirt with you behind his/her partners back, thats the kind of person they are period.

 

I find it curious the double thinking that goes on with lots of people, If they are in a relationship and their partner cheats on them, most of the time that creates a lack of trust and ends that relationship. but if that same person cheats on someone else to be with them, they somehow trust them!! its still the same "act" to put it another way, if you know someone is an active crook but has never robbed you personally would you trust them with your belongings? so why trust a person with your heart that has broken someone else's heart with lies and deceit?

 

The excuse of "I'm not happy in my relationship etc" is not a valid reason to cheat, if your unhappy in your relationship and have tried everything to fix it, than just end it, say goodbye and move on BEFORE finding a replacement.

 

Another thing, people that don't put "spaces" between their relationships usually never heal or let go of issues caused by the past, they bring that into your relationship. plus there is the fact that the reason they get a replacement before breaking off with their current one could be because they fear being without someone.

 

I say this from wisdom I gained from learning the hard way, I can say right now that I deserved what I got. very simple rule, if they can do it to someone else, they can do it to you, and they most likely will.

[Rayana]

They not married, and nothing is written in stone. If hes attracted to you and wants you then his relationship with the other girl is not meant to be. You are at a stage when you are finding a life partner and there will be plenty of trial and errors. Just because you re in a relationship doesnt mean you have to stay there. If you re unhappy or met someone else then move on. At the end of the day if its in your destiny it will happen.

 

However if they were married i would tell you to stay away, in the case of marriage you have no right to interfere.

[arwen]

I wouldn't actively interfere. If this guy chooses to approach me, get to know me and end his relationship, I will consider a relationship. I was in love with a guy from my swimming team for ages, it started with a lot of staring from his side. He didn't ever approach me and a few months later I found out he has a girlfriend. I still respect it a lot that he chose for his long term relationship, and obviously stayed away from me.

 

I wouldn't say that being attracted to someone else necessarily means that the relationship you are in is not meant to be. I think everyone in a long term relationship can feel attracted to someone else at times. It's not acting upon that attraction that proves the love in the relationship, I think.

 

Ilse.

[Gilgamesh]

I wouldn't say that being attracted to someone else necessarily means that the relationship you are in is not meant to be. I think everyone in a long term relationship can feel attracted to someone else at times. It's not acting upon that attraction that proves the love in the relationship, I think.

 

Ilse.

 

I agree with this also, about 5 years ago while dating my Ex (the one that made me seek help here) I was friends with another girl, I knew she was attracted to me, and I liked her too, but it never went beyond friendship, guess who I am dating now for the last 6 weeks? thats right! during the last 2 years or so, we both been into other relationships that didn't pan out, actually she had gotten married and divorced in that period.

 

Anyway one of the things she told me was that she knows I'm someone she can trust, because I didn't make a move on her when i was with my GF years back, so what goes around comes around.

[annie24]

Ok, I'm going to play devil's advocate here.... now, I firmly believe in staying away from married and engaged people. But, when you are bf/gf, you still haven't committed to each other, and you are still trying to figure out exactly what it is you want.

 

If you were dating someone, and then you met someone who was really really really right for you, you would break up to be with the new person. Yes, you would feel like a jerk about it, but deep in your heart, you know it's the right thing to do.

 

Honestly, I've been on both sides of the story, and it's never a fun situation. But, some things just felt right, if that makes any sense....