Confused being friends?

[iamconfused5302]

Well my ex and I broke up 4 weeks ago. She gave me an answer couple days ago. That she cant see us having a relationship at this point of time. She keeps persisting on me being friends with her which I dont understand. Well, later on I find out that she likes this guy, but he lives in a different state. She tells me, if she goes out with this guy and finds out if she wants to be with me. she doesnt know if she misses me or my company. So now i dont know what to do.

[caasiopia68]

she shouldnt only want you after she goes out with him, that means that she isnt sure she wants you. shes open to "other people" which means she doesnt think you are perfect. If she did shhe wouldnt care about anyone else. Sorry i woulndt say yourall's relationship is that strong. Id say move on

[iamconfused5302]

i also like to add, that she goes that if we arent friends itll be .0001% for us to be together again. so i dont know.

[kellbell]

It seems that this scenario is so common on this board.

Anyway, you are in no way have to act as the "halloback boy" because that what it seems like to me. She broke up wih you, is interested in a another dude, but not sure if things will work out with him, so she wants you to fall back on. She wants you as a friend so she won't feel guilty by being the "dumper", that's it my friend. If she wanted truly to be with you, she would not have broke up with you let alone finding another guy to be with. My advice to you, start NC ASAP, let her be with the other dude, and bid her farewell once and for all. You deserve so much better than this. Take care and good luck.

[heloladies21]

No friends in this situation. It will make you feel horrible and you will never be able to get over her. Time for No Contact.

[L8RISER]

Sounds like a great friend...

[novaseeker]

Well my ex and I broke up 4 weeks ago. She gave me an answer couple days ago. That she cant see us having a relationship at this point of time. She keeps persisting on me being friends with her which I dont understand. Well, later on I find out that she likes this guy, but he lives in a different state. She tells me, if she goes out with this guy and finds out if she wants to be with me. she doesnt know if she misses me or my company. So now i dont know what to do.

 

People say they want to be friends when they want to either keep you on the shelf for a while or feel less guilty about breaking up with you. In my experience that's what it is.

 

Now I'm still friends with my ex-wife, but in part that's because we have a son together and it makes sense to maintain friendly relations. (No NC when you get divorced with kids, folks!) But in most cases when people say they want to be friends it's kind of like a gentler way of smoothing the fallout from the breakup.

 

In this situation I wouldn't recommend it.

[nataliejulie]

The fact she has someone else in mind is a damper. She's putting you on the back burner as a safety net. Then she tells you there will be no chance of getting back together if you aren't friends --- that isn't fair... especially to you. She's literally telling you to keep your hopes up! It's doesn't seem to me she's looking out for you and your feelings by doing this and just looking out for what makes HER happy and no one else.

 

I say, no friends -- NC.

[cb2000]

Don't be just friends if you want more than that.

Don't settle for less than you want.

[johnagent1911]

Don't be friends... I would pull away from this. I've been there before. Not worth it in my mind.