"Kill that desperation"-POOK (Master Don Juan)

[grneyedscotsman]

"Being a Casa Nova or a Don Juan is not a net sum of smooth manuevers and methods but of your own outlook on the world and on women. ANYONE can memorize 'techniques', but FEW can change the way HOW they think. Women will be able to sniff out the former. But with the latter, women will be clawing at each other for you.

 

A Don Juan is a state of mind, not a list of methods and tricks.

 

This must be stated because it brings us to the subject of 'desperation'.

 

In the end, we are all desperate with desire. We wouldn't be looking for tips and answers if we did not desire a girlfriend or MULTIPLE girlfriends-(being a bit ambitious, aren't we?) We all want a woman (or women ), but our desire and feelings brings out the desperation traits within us.

 

Where I work, I asked the women what they found as desperation in a co-worker.

 

Here are some of their answers:

 

--always giving the women attention.

--calling all the time (and immediately once getting the number,

immediately returning a call, being at her beck and call, etc.)

--taking every opportunity to talk to them and telling them everything

about yourself right away.

--always available.

--NEVER willing to walk away-(NEVER willing to disagree, ALWAYS suppli-

cating).

--etc.

 

What theme can we find in the above? It is that the man puts the woman on the pedestal rather than himself.

 

Imagine if a woman did all of the above to you. Imagine if a woman was OBSESSED with you-i.e;'Swimfan', 'Fatal Attraction'. Always available for you, and always spending her free time FOR YOU. Any initial interest you had in this woman would soon evaporate. Why? Because in your own mind you are thinking two things one else must want her," AND "If I can get her OBSESSED about me, Iknow I can get BETTER girls to be interested in me." Her desperation is turning you off, The same is true for women.

 

Women are not attracted to desperate men...PERIOD! I've told my co-worker this and his response: "Well, that is just who I am." Eventually, he will realize that the only common denominator in his pattern of crash and burn will be HIM. So if anyone has told you that you're desperate, consider that it's true.

 

*There is a KEY to removing desperation forever. There is no simple 'trick' that will kill desperation. It will not simply be in how you dress, talk or where you go on dates. No, the KEY is in how you think.

 

The KEY to killing desperation (and attracting crowds of women) is to THINK and BELIEVE that you are The Great Catch.

 

Desperate guys do not do this. They see the woman as the trophy rather than themselves. They see that the women must be 'wooed' rather than them. They will, thus supplicate and become a 'nice guy'. (And most nice guys finish last as we all know).

 

If you start treating a woman like precious gold, she will believe she is gold. And once she believes it, she will DUMP YOU because YOU have given her the sense that she is BETTER than you. Once she thinks that, she will want to REPLACE YOU with someone better, because you have given her reasons to believe that YOU ARE UNWORTHY OF HER GREATNESS.

 

After all, if we think we can ****** someone better, we will. This holds true for both men and women. The last thing we want to settle for is a mate when we could have gotten better. (This is why the element of challenge is so important in the Dating Game.)

 

**The lesson: DON'T GIVE HER A REASON TO THINK SHE IS BETTER. You are the gold; she should be thrilled just to have a CHANCE with you.

 

The first step in becoming the Prince Charming every woman dreams of is to THINK OF YOURSELF AS A PRINCE.

 

When you BELIEVE you are that prince, that you are The Great Catch, all the 'desperation' signs you were emitting vanish and an aura of attraction will surround you. Combine this manner of thinking with all the Don Juan skills you know, and you will become irresistible.

 

*Remember these signs of desperation?

 

--always giving the woman/women attention.

 

Now that you're The Prince, you don't have time to give women attention. A Prince is kind, ENTHUSIASTIC, smiling, yet YOU have things to do. A Prince's time is precious. A woman must win your attention; you shall NOT 'give' it to them.

 

--calling all the time (and calling immediately once getting the number, immediately returning a call, etc.

 

The Great Catch simply CANNOT call all the time because he hsa tons of other numbers. The Great Catch is not competing for a particular girl. The girls, rather, are competing for him.

 

--taking every opportunity to talk to them (and telling everything about

yourself).

 

Why would Prince Charming tell everything about himself to a woman? No, the woman must JUSTIFY HERSELF to him because YOU ARE THE GOODS. The Prince would reveal things about himself only as a reward. The woman loves the mystery in this and sees knowing the Prince as peeling layers of an onion, knowing him GRADUALLY. Now we know what Shrek meant.

 

--always available

 

The Great Catch is busy with many many women! She must fight for your time, NOT the other way around.

 

--Never willing to walk away (NEVER willing to disagree, always

suplicating).

 

Prince Charming wouldn't accept ANY disrespect from any woman. If a woman gave him such disrespect, he WALKS AWAY. The Prince KNOWS all these women want to be with him so he can reject at anytime.

 

Now, I know you're thinking, "I can't act like a Prince Charming or The Great Catch. I DON'T have tons of women after me." This is reversing CAUSE and EFFECT. ASSUME you are The Great Catch, THINK that you are, as you think you shall become.It becomes a self-fullfilling prophecy. Treat your hobbies as if they have more value than the women do (or treat your hobbies as if they WERE other women).

When you think you are The Great Catch, you will act like it and the women will KNOW that you are.

 

Women love certain traits in guys. By THINKING you are The Great Catch allows you to emit these traits NATURALLY and without any effort.

 

=Good Looks

 

You cannot change your genes. But you can change the way how you treat those genes. Does Prince Charming wear raggedy T-shirts? Does The Great Catch walk with his head down? NO! You will wear nice clothes and walk with pride BECAUSE you are proud of yourself. After all, you ARE one of the best. So treat yourself accordingly.

 

Anyone can wear a suit. But few can wear a suit proudly. Few can wear a suit that seems to fit them naturally and creates an aura of importance. Good carriage, excellent threads, are the CONSEQUENCE by how you think ofyourself. Women know this and is the reason why you are judged by this criteria.

 

=Humor

 

Girls LOVE humor. Prince Charming and The Great Catch are funny because they know that they, themselves, are fun. They don't worry, "My Goodness, she is really cute! How Can I attract her!?" They ASSUME she will be attracted and they will have fun in the meantime.

 

Don't be shy. Let your personality SHINE! When you think you are The Great Catch, this should come more naturally because you have nothing to fear.

 

=Dominance***

 

YOU are THE MAN. You must be IN CHARGE. Desperate guys will try to be 'nice' in every which way to win the girl (and fail, of course). But Prince Charming and The Great Catch will SWEEP WOMEN OFF THEIR FEET.

When you THINK you are the goods, you realize that it is rediculous to treat relationship and flirting as walking on eggshells. YOU set the rules, NOT the other way around. After all, You are the prize to be sought.

 

Look at the soap operas, romance novels, etc for grounds of this. Women like to be in the presense of a MAN, not a boy, not a chump, and certainly not a 'nice guy'. It's like a choice of the Fonz or Richie Cunningham to these women. Dominance is also being sure of yourself. Do not speak in a soft tone. Speak STRONGLY and behave STRONGLY. After all, do you think Prince Charming worries about making mistakes? No, so neither should you.

 

I kow, I know. I cna hear you saying, "But I must worry about mistakes or else I'll have another' learning experience on my hands."

 

This is a GOOD THING. Let us say that, in a normal conversation, you came accross a word you weren't sure how to pronounce. Most people will utter the word softly for fear of criticism. This is stupid. Say the word LOUD!! Let me repeat, say the word LOUD!! If you are wrong, you will be corrected. Clearing up mistakes is always a good thing and should never be feared.

 

The same applies with dating. Do not date with hesitation and shyness; date with conviction. Remember the biggest risk you can take in life is not to take any risks at all.

 

=Ambition

 

When you think of yourself as the Great Catch, you KNOW women are not the priority of your life. After all, The Great Catch knows he can get any woman whenever he wants. When you feel good about life, you cease to fear success and demand Life show all that it has. Aim for the moon. If you miss, at least you'll be among the stars.

 

So in the end, too often men think they need a girlfriend to have their life 'complete'. The consequence is that these men will emit signs of desperation. Success is achieved first through the mind, then through the world, never the other way around.

 

[/i]"As you think, you shall become"-POOK

 

For more great advice from many GREAT writers click on the link to the Don Juan Bible Forum below.

Green Eyed Scotsman

[EyeOfTheTiger1]

This is great and all, but what the hell do we do, if we already screwed up and shoed her just how weak, lost, insecure and desperate we can be? How the heck do we go about redeeming ourselves in the eyes of our loved one who won't look twice at us anymore? I tried that confidence shit with my ex for some time and she was all over me and then I made a vital mistake, I became weak and insecure all over again and she left me and then I chased her and she ran further away. She literally has the balls to hang up on me when I call her and blocks me from MSN when I say hi. I'm pissed off at myself, because I know I screwed up and now I've been labeled. She told me herself that she wants a strong man, not a weak and lost boy. What the hell do I do now? I do want to be able to prove to her that I don't need her, but I don't know how to do it.

 

Dan

[grneyedscotsman]

Dear Dan,

It sounds to me that your basic problem is you're confusing the fantasy of your ex-with reality. Everything you are in love with is fantasy.

 

Here is the reality as I can best see it , from what you've said..

 

She is treating you very badly and it sounds as though you are allowing it. I doubt you can honestly be in love with the way she is treating you and intentionally hurting you. Yet, you want to prove yourself worthy of her??

 

Remember this-INSECURITY ISN'T SEXY, IT'S A TURN OFF.

 

You don't have to be an ego-inflated, arrogant jek. You just have to like yourself. You have to know what you want out of life, and go after it. She is NOT your life, and your only source of happiness. If she is...YECH! What kind of burden is that to place on her? That she is to be responsible for your happiness?

 

My advice for you is to STOP ALL CONTACT.

 

Here Are 6 GOOD REASONS FOR "NO-CONTACT"

 

1. Your ex is doing "no contact", you would'nt be sweating those digits if she were calling you. When people love us, we love them. When people stay away from us, we stay away from them. I don't know about you, but I don't want to be where I'm not wanted..do you?

 

2. Begging and Pleading doesn't work. If it did you wouldn't be here. So try something different.

 

3. By calling, you're just asking for a panic attack. I don't know how many stories I've read on here of people who have given in and called or e-mailed and were completely slapped in the face or ignored by their ex. Then they're back to square one, feeling as bad as they did the day they got dumped, (I'm sure you can relate to this Dan). And if you are "lucky" enough to be given an ambiguous response, you're given a tiny piece of string to hold onto while she continues to go out and have her fun...without you. It's NOT worth it.

 

4. What about you? Don't you deserve to be called and missed? Your ex wasn't the only one in the relationship, and you shouldn't be the only one calling. Guess what? She knows your number/e-mail. It's not fair to have a one-sided communication. Invest that time and energy into yourself. Go clothes shopping, buy a new cologne.

 

5. You won't be able to move on if you're still holding on to old ghosts. I say old ghosts because she isn't there anymore. She's moved on. If she really loves you and see's that you're better than the rest out there, then she'll be back. But if she's not, you'll find another woman that will think you're THE MAN! And you deserve that Dan!

 

6. God loves you. He doesn't want to see you suffer. But God teaches us that sometimes we have some hard LESSONS to learn. So let go of the phones and forget the e-mailing's. Instead make a self-emprovement plan and see it through. When you start establishing goals and accomplishing them, you will prove to the most IMPORTANT PERSON YOU KNOW that you have really grown up into an amazing Great Catch!!!

 

 

Take Care/GODSPEED!!

 

GreeneyedScotsman

 

 

 

 

[EyeOfTheTiger1]

What can I say to that, other than the fact that you are most certainly the man. I can't argue with a single point you've made. I am guilty of all of the above. The thing that stings is that she did love me and gave me ample opportunity to be that strong and confident guy, which I know I really am and all I was able to muster up, was this pathetic, weak and scared little boy who couldn't live without her love. I honestly don't blame her for her present actions. I actually respect her a hell of a lot more than what I've done in the last 5 weeks to try and get her back without success I might add, but you know what, I do still love the woman and do have regret for being such a *** with her. If I would have only read your advice 5 weeks ago. I would be the king of the freaking castle today. In your opinion, is there absolutely no way to gain back her respect and interest in me. I did it before, but she was in my life then. She is no where to be seen now and obviously couldn't see any progress on my end, once it is made. you don't believe in giving it time (a few months let's say) and then slowly re-introducing myself into her world as the new and improved Dan. We were talking about marriage and kids after all and she desperately needed for me to be that strong and stable guy, but I disappointed her and me in the process. Give me some more advice oh wise one. Mucho appreciated senior. I am not Spanish (she is)

Dan

[remember_me]

Hey man!I have the exact same situation here.The only difference is that the girl i love is not Spanian Anyway,a month ago we broke up,i mean,she broke up with me.It was just terrible.For about a week i begged and told her how much i love her,that i have changed,but she didnt want to believe it.I've managed to kiss her a few times and after all,after she told me that she feels great with her new boyfriend,they don't argue and she feels better with that.She told me that she prefers to be with him and that for her he's on the first place,i come on the 2-nd.She just didn't want to believe me that i've changed,and i really did.At the end of the week i decided to tell her finally,that if some day she decides that she WANTS to see that i have changed,cause the reason she didn't believe me is that she DIDN'T WANT to believe me.So i told her that when she makes that decision she should call me and try it again to see what happens next.

During the month we were apart,she called a few times,sent me some SMS and the last time she wanted to meet because she wanted to explain how bad she felt about the way we broke up.In her SMS,she told me that she misses how i understood her feelings and always was there for her,but she just doesnt want to fall in love with me again,cause she is afraid i could hurt her heart again.I didnt call,yesterday i saw her with her new boyfriend and one more girl.I just acted as if she wasnt there and i spoke with the other girl mostly and with the guy a few words.She was standing all the time with this stupid smile on the face and asked me "How are you",How's goind anyway"Does it go well with the studying"After that she hugged her boyfriend,but i looked just in another direction and continued the convo with the other girl.Me and the ex had eye contact for about 2-3 seconds,just during i was answering her question and the i looked away.What do you think about that?I think,i made it great.So what i was trying to tell you is that its only her decision.When she takes that decison,when she was disappointed enough from other relationships,or just as the time passes and she starts to miss you,then she will call...But then you decide if you are able to give her that second chance she never gave you!

I'm really sorry about my terrible English,I hope you got what i meant.

Thank you

[EyeOfTheTiger1]

the only difference betwwen what you did and what I've done, is that I had not given her any opportunity to call me or contact me. Within 5 weeks, I couldn't hold out for longer than 4 days at a time. I never gave her chance to miss me. All I accomplished was annoying her and giving her more of a reason to forget about me. That's how she explained it, when she was actually still replying to the occasional email at the time. Do put it bluntly, she needed me to change (get stronger and become more independent and secure) and I was trying to convince that I was doing just that, but the fool that I am, didn't realize that my actions were confirming to her that I haven't changed and this gave her the confidence to ignore me and hang up on me on the phone and block me from MSN. It hurt like a bitch, but I just kept on digging that grave, to the point where she is so annoyed by me and no way does she find me attractive or appealing to her on any level anymore, because I came accross as desperate and pathetic. The irony is that during our relationship, she called me like 20 times a day and I hardly ever picked up that phone. How the roles reversed. There was a time she would have given me the chance to prove to her that I could change and I blew it everytime, to the point that she got fed up with it and realized that she's better off on her own and when the day comes, she will prefer ro be with a man, over a little crybaby boy. This kills me inside, because there is not one other man in this world who is more of a man then I am, but God knows how I can ever make her believe this again after my pathetic actions. they say frist impression is the most important. What about out last?

 

Dan

[remember_me]

Well,i guess the last impression is as important as the first one.Probably its not what you wanted to hear,but...But anyway,i'm not sure if it made to my ex-girlfriend a good impression that i left her to leave her own life and ignore her allready as well.She still doesnt show any appreciation,but:

1.I hope she appreciated it,although she didnt show me that.

2.I would tell ya,that i don't care so much and as the time passes i think that it would be a terrible mistake to have her as a girlfriend until she has changed.

I mean i helped her a lot building her self-confidence,helped her when she felt down,helped her to raise as a person,but she is refused to change and wanted to be the same stupid,naiv and I-DON'T KNOW WHAT-I-SHOULD-DO-WITH-MY-LIFE chick.She still needs help to take decisions,and the man who helps her now is her new boyfriend.

During the week i felt really depressed,but the pain she caused me took its peak on a party,where she danced with him,hugged and kissed him during OUR favourite songs were playing.I mean during these love songs we made love,we kissed passionately and so on...and she ruined all these great memories at once.So what is left in my heart...There are no memories,no good impressions,she is not even that nice for me to keep following her.

It's her loss.I was the one she loved,and if she loved me once,she will love me a second time,and there will be no other she will love as much as me.SHe admitted it.

So,what does she need!TIME!MORE DISAPPOINTEMENT FROM THE OTHER GUYS...If she decides that she loves you she won't miss the chance to call you.If she doesn't,she still doesn't care.But i don't want to give you any expectations that she will come back.One day maybe...Mybe in a month,maybe in 2 months,maybe in an year.If she doesn't appreciate what you did for her,she never will and why do you need a girl like her anyway.

I can't give you any advice,but when you see her next time,PRETEND YOU DON'T CARE!!!!Even if you want to beg her,even if you cry when you are home.When YOU MEET HER,BE STRONG,EVEN IF YOU ARE WEAK INSIDE.

Good luck

[grneyedscotsman]

Loving someone is no excuse for compromising your self respect. Until you fet this, and make it part of your foundation for relationships, you will continue to get involved in abusive relationships.

 

There are two kinds of people with problems. Those who want them resolved and those who play victim. She's in the second group. And there is nothing you can do about it but accept it and walk away a wiser man.

 

Giving UNCONDITIONAL love is wonderful, but ONLY when it's returned. She uses it against you. In her eyes, you will never give enough. She feels totally justified in her behavior because she was hurt before. She's too immature to realize everyone gets hurt in life. The people who are successful in relationships, as well as life in general, learn from their pain, use it as a growing experience, and move forward. The losers blame everyone else and take their hostility out on everyone foolish enough to stand there and take it.

 

The fact is that girls do like strong men. If you let her know you need her desperately, she won't think of you as the best response to her biological needs. You may ask, "Ok, but what if I do need her desperately"? The answer is quite simple: Change your behavior. Act as if she is someone important for you, but that you would not suffer more than 2 seconds if she decides to go away. Women accept almost anything from a man accept worship, and desperation.

 

Realize that nowadays, most relationships don't last. The odds of keeping a happy relationship ALIVE and WELL are against you. I know it hurts sometimes to lose your girl, but it hurts more to lose your girl w/o having any say in the matter.

 

By begging them to comeback, or giving us another chance, or asking them why they don't love you anymore etc;. You are only giving her MORE satisfaction, when what you should have said from the outset when she first brought up breaking up is, "That's a reief. I thought I was the only one feeling this way and I didn't want to hurt you. Thanks for making this easy on me!"

 

LESSON: It's great to give unconditional love, loyalty, respect, etc. but only when you get it in return.

 

I hope this helped you Dan.

 

Take Care-Godspeed/God Bless!! 8) Keep Cool!

[LearningL8]

Very Good Advice Grneyedscotsman!!!!!!

 

I've been using alot of your advice, and although it's not magically bringing my ex-girlfriend back to me, I now realize I don't even need her to be a happy man. I'm thinking about myself first for a change, and am finding my self-esteem is gradually returning to normal.

 

I am finally planning a date tomarrow (saturday) with a new interest, but am happy to have the new wisdom as my hearts armor. I'm not even worried like I use to get before a new date. I figure, "Hell with it if she dosen't like me (though I'm certain she will--What's NOT to like??!!)".

 

I will be sure to try your advice and not talk about myself too much, if at all. I'll change the subject toward her if she asks me to tell her about myself. Like you said, women love mysterious men-better yet, mysterious confident men!!

 

I'm very happy you became a member here, and look forward to reading anymore of your posts.

 

Later!

 

P.S. What does "Godspeed" mean?? Is that like saying ; "Godbless"?

Just curious.

LearningL8

[grneyedscotsman]

Thank you very much for your kind words LearningL8!

 

I'm very glad that I can be of some use here.

 

I'm very happy that you are able to bring some new wisdom into this possibly NEW relationship. Remember not to lose what you now know. And remember beautiful women CAN bring the strongest of men down when we let our guard down. Remember SAMSON and DELILAH**.

 

In any event, have a GREAT time on your date and let us know how it goes.

 

You asked what 'Godspeed' means.

 

===Here is the definition..

 

Godspedd means 'prosperous journeying'.

---a contraction of the phrase, "God speed you." Written also as two separate words god speed.

n: a successful journey; "they wished him Godspeed".

 

==== So there you have it!

 

Take Care/Godspeed/Stat cool 8)

 

grneyedscotsman

[Sage Eagle]

Very Good Post indeed!!

 

Keep that advice flowing!!

 

Very helpful!

 

Godspeed grneyedscotsman!! 8)

[Holly19721607306437]

Unfortunatley, you are right scotsman. Women do love men with confidence. But by the same token, we cannot stand arrogant bastards.

But if I had to have my pick over an arrogant bastard that presents himself as a challenge, and a mommy's boy that is constantly trying to prove his love by smothering me in love and never wanting to leave my sight...I'd have to pick the arrogant bastard.

 

However,you have to be a romantic arrogant bastard if you're going to be one at all. We women need our romance!!

 

Good post all-in all, but there's not much in it to help us women out. Perhaps you can clue some of us in on why we fall in love with either goal-less self-centered or abusive men.

 

Holly

[LearningL8]

I'm back from a wonderful evening with a very attractive young lady. I feel great! It's hard to believe I'm finally dating again without missing my ex much. I'll admit, she did pop into my head a few times, but then I was able to put those thoughts aside and give my date some attention.

 

You'll be happy to know I did'nt shower her with affection. Infact, she showered ME with affection. I actually had to say, "Slow down a little baby"- when I kissed her goodnight. And now she wants me to call her tomarrow. Should I? I told her I might be busy. She asked me what I had going on. I told her I just had alot of personal chores and running around to do. Is this what you meant by not being too available at first and not be too available?

 

Once again, thanks for the info/insight grneyedscotsman! And as you always end your posts "Godspeed" 8)

[Sage Eagle]

Way to go LearningL8 !!

Keep that attitude -knowing you can't be happy with anyone, until you're happy with/by yourself. Remember not to be too available for this new lady friend.

 

Thanks for sharing with us!

 

Godspeed!!

 

Sage Eagle

[SMP03]

 

 

This really is a helpful thing to read. I am currently getting over a guy that took me on a serious emotional rollercoaster because he knew I adored and worshipped him. His problem was, he was so messed up from never moving on from his past that sometimes he adored me back and sometimes he treated me like dirt on the ground. Sometimes he talked about a future together with me and other times he would say how he can't move on from his previous girlfriend and that he thinks everyone will leave him in the end. I WAS sacrificing my self respect AND mental health for a chance to be with him. When he went into one of his

"I just can't handle my life" phases for a long period of time (he doens't talk to anyone when he does this), I was so upset and scared that I would never talk to him again and, although I only called twice to see if he was ok and wrote a letter to cheer him up, I guess it pushed him further away and made me seem desperate. I finally wrote him a letter saying I did not want to feel that I was just annoying him every time I called or wrote and it wasn't worth feeling this awful, but I still wanted to be friends because we had been thru too much together. I think I was giving him so much attention and affection because he had declared 'everyone will leave him" and I wanted to show him that I would never be so cruel. I asked him to let me know if he got the letter, but nothing ever came back so I dont know if he ever read my "declaration of independence". He may still see me as pathetic and annoying. He never wrote back or called again. I still feel awful, but I know that this was just a learning experience. I guess the only reason I'm still not over it is because I don't know if he read that letter which said that I want to be a stronger person and that I do have self respect and maturity. It also bugs me that he may see me as immature, when in fact, he is not mature enough to see that everyone gets hurt and the only way to happiness is to MOVE ON. He actually emailed his exgirlfriend and blamed her for his hurting my feelings. I think what also makes me mad is that I was very independent before him, and was always very resilliant from relationships gone wrong. I don't know why that all broke down when it came to him. Maybe it was because he was an older man, maybe it was because it was my first time in love or because he was the first guy I was comfortable with sexually. But I think my learning experience is that it IS ok to love unconditionally, but not if it is not returned, or only a "sometimes" thing. Also, you should never become too attached to someone who is more dysfunctional than yourself! I hope I heal from all of it soon!

[Lone Star1607306437]

Granted, this is one of the best posts I've read, yet the simple fact is..

It's very.. very hard to just turn feeling's off for a gal or a guy if you've been in a serious relationship for any decent length of time.

 

Most people are familiar with themselves, and I agree-some are content with being a fraction of their potential--Me included. I'm only 26 yrs old and have a long way to go before I'm ready to grow up! I'm still having alot of fun! It just so happens I'm hitting a low, with my fairly recent break-up.

 

Break-ups are hard to deal with. We're all human! Emotions of all types are part of the human spirit. Being sad sucks, but it can be good for you. Once you're past the pain, it almost seems like life becomes better than ever before...well, atleast in my experiences. I'm not saying your post are not helpful, ..they are! I'm just saying that some of the advice I read seems extremely recondite!! Some of it is beyond my scope.

 

I cannot help but cry sometimes when she enters my mind, and I'm cool with that. I have nothing to prove to anyone. I love her still, and most likely will for quite some time. I don't plan to call her or make any contact with her what-so-ever, but if she should call me, I won't play any head games with her. I would probably take her back in a heartbeat if she's truly sorry for ending it with me. I Would very likely forgive her. Maybe that's being dependant, so be it. To me it's L-O-V-E!

 

Anyway' Mr.Grneyedscotsman, you do have good advice, I'm just not sure it's for everyone!

 

Take care and Godspeed to you! ( I think you said Godspeed is wishing a properous jurney? )

 

Lone Star Yippie Ki Eh Mother F k r!!

[Holly19721607306437]

Just wanted to appologize to you Grneyedscotsman. I was guilty of not having read your entire post before I declared it of no use to women.

I stand CORRECTED!

 

I just re-read it, and found there is alot of helpful information for men and women alike.

 

I guess I stuck my foot in my mouth. I'll make sure I get all the details next time! HOW embarrassING!!!!

 

See ya around!

 

Holly1972

[cuteshortnsassy191607306438]

nice post stud-scotsman!!!

 

u r correct. women love men with confidence! we do NOT like needy clingy mama's boy's. we like strong, confident, gentlemen. i like a man that opens the doors 4 me. but i do NOT like a man telling me what i can or can NOT do. if he is 2 b my significant other, he needs 2 be my equal, not my greater, not my lesser.

 

shortnsassy19

[Old Hippie1607306438]

Way -cool insight Scotsman.

Women are komplikated kreechers. You godda love 'em, but they are tuff to understand. it's all about KONFEDENTS!!

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

This guy is right. I learned a lot of this recently. You gotta love yourself enough to play the odds and show your worth but make them work for it too. Listen to him.

[Kitz]

.... That is so true. It is all so fudging true. Read it and memorise it, people!!

 

Gotta admit I only skimmed through the first post coz I was too lazy, but the part about being desperate is a turn off, always available, always agreeing, putting her on the pedestal instead of yourself, and even what the girl would be thinking, its so true..

[MetallicAguy]

Wow, that's probably the most smartest post I've ever read..******* brilliant lol.

[AlwaysNeedHelp]

HEY GUYS I DID THAT TODAY, I WAS THE GREAT CATCH. IT WORKED I HAD A LOT OF CONFIDENCE AND SHE STARTED TO PAY ATTENTION TO ME MORE AND FEEL SHY AND STUFF LIKE THAT

 

GREAT POST !!!!

[Taint]

I was in pretty much the same shoes as Dan.... But the only difference is... Were going to meet in person still in about 9 days. I was that scared little boy through aim... But when she broke off with me I noticed her and I noticed my mistakes. I've had a great leader in this forum thats helped me alot... She even directed me into this thread. Im keeping nc till we meet in person. Im going to try my hardest to be the strong independent type... like i was before hiding behind a computer and spewing my emotions at her and pushing her away. Great thread... I shall post how things go when we meet... Maybe win her back...and being more respectable at that. Thanks a lot ^_^

[Spartan1]

bump