Ex wanted to see me

[joeysgirl]

Hi everyone, I basically just need some advice to know whats going on in my ex's head. He came home this weekend (we moved to a new town together but i moved back after the split) i saw him on the friday and we discussed who would be able to go out as its a small town and we thought it would be akward. He said it would be OK if i went out as he didnt feel like it so we left it at that.

 

Anyway, i ended up at the pub with my girlfriends until about 2am and then went home, my ex phoned me at 3am he was out the front of the pub and wanted to know if i would see him. He was supposed to be getting picked up at about 12.30 but stayed at a friends house until 3am then walked down to the pub. I told him i was at home and he could come over if he wanted to see me, he then changed his mind and said it wouldn't be a good idea! He was the one who suggested it! Anyway he has since left town now i sent him a msg this morning saying ' drive safetly, did u feel it too?' referring to the meeting on friday which was pretty emotional for me but i managed to stay calm but i could still feel something between us.

 

What is he up to? Did he just ask to see me so he could say it wasn't a good idea? I have no idea whats going on in his head. It seems just when im starting to feel better he pulls a stunt like this and im back at square one. I do love him and miss him terribly and want him back. Help!

[Magamar]

Yeah it can get very confusing sometimes when people you care about give off confusing signals. To be perfectly honest I don't know if I'm in a relationship or not. The woman I'm seeing says all the right things when I'm with her like - She fell in love with me along time ago and is still in love with me - but then at other times acts like I'm the last thing on her mind!!!!

 

I think it's more important to try and not analyse everything that the other person says and does. It's easy to think that everything they do is somehow pre-planned and part of some master plan and that they are in total control. More often than not they are as confused as you are and sometimes just acting on impolse/reflex/guess work.

 

The more you try to second guess what they are doing the more anxious you become because you realise how little control you have over it.

 

Concentrate on yourself and getting you happy and contented (easier said than doen when you are going through a break up but it does help).

[nataliejulie]

Magamar has some good points.

 

Over analyzing this situation can just leave you with tricky messes.

 

It's a bad idea to rush back into anything, so take it easy, take it slow, and just move along with his flow for right now.

[juls28]

my ex is pulling the same crap. calling and begging to visit and then when I finally say yes he says " oh, you know what, we really shouldn't be doing that"

it's his way of checking in on you, making sure he still has the option to come back to you, but also still stay single.

if you want him back the best thing to do is not contact him. when he calls put on a brave face and pretend everything is fine and keep it brief. it makes my ex so crazy when I do this because his little game is back firing.

I finally got my phone number changed this moring becasue enough is enough. I'm too old for these lame games