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do online dating sites really work?


dlplight99999

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Assuming you are a guy, would these really work? I've been hearing stories where the male-to-female ratio for most of these sites are about 7 to 1. Even worse, most male posters seem to get little or no responses at all.

 

So for all the guys out there who have tried out these sites, were these really effective in the sense that you met a lot of other different people? Any great sites that you guys recommend?

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Yes these websites do work!

 

I met the woman of my dreams on a dating website, we were together for 6 wonderful years, but I screwed it up. But if I had the chance again, I would do it all over again! One day I will probably use a dating website again, but for right now I am still healing from losing my ex. I had never used a website before that, but I would tell you to be careful of how you use these websites.

 

Just a few tips, when you write a profile, be entirely honest when writing your profile, read about what others are writing then try to be different, while still being honest. Actively seek out women on the site, don't contact too many at one time, just concentrate on the few that you might actually be interested in.

 

These websites can work, if you are willing to work on your profile you may just get lucky, like I did!

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I've been signed up on a few for at least a few months now, and I've only gotten one real response back. In fact, it was just the other day, so the waiting game (at least temporarily) is on hold.

 

Here are the few I am on:

 

OkCupid

link removed

Yahoo!PERSONALS

PerfectMatch

PickYourFriendlyMatch

LavaLife (never really use it though.. it's more of a sex encounters site)

E-SpintheBottle

 

Since you are posting a profile with general stuff about you, don't expect tons of women to want to meet you from the get-go, because unlike in real life where they develop an interest in you solely on looks (they don't know anything about you) inititally, they get to find out more about you before even sending a message to you. You may enjoy doing outdoor stuff, but perhaps not many women on the site DO enjoy the outdoors (however, it's quite the opposite in most cases... but you get the point).

 

Just be happy when someone DOES message you. Check out her profile, see if you share any interests or whatever, and take it from there. Most dating sites, except OkCupid and E-Spin, require you to pay a monthly fee to send messages to someone, and sometimes to even see the rest of the user's photos.

 

Please note that all of the above dating sites are free to register and post your pic/profile information, but in most cases they require a fee to go any further in terms of communicating with another user on the site. What sucks is when someone sends you an email (who does pay) and you can't email that person back because you haven't paid yet in order to email the person.

 

Also, I've found that, at least in my state, it's not uncommon to see the same women on different dating sites, so it's not an entirely new group of people on every site.

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Yes they do work. I joined link removed in 2003, dated someone I met from this site for 1.5 years. Joined link removed & Yahoo Personals 2 months ago. Very interesting, so far, I've only been on 2 dates, I get people who email me but many I feel are playing online & are looking for a penpal. Some have emailed me expressing interest, & when I send a reply, often I never geta reply back, leading me to believe many are contacting many people at once or suddenly realize they aren't interested? The response email is polite, sweet & casual, not very wordy or stress inducing to make someone want to flee. I think this is very interesting as compared to my online dating exp Spring 2003, where I received ooodles of emails, often meeting at least 2-3 people per week, & constant, continuing communication, until I met the person I dated for a year and a half.

Now I find I get better emails from potential matches on Yahoo Personals. link removed this time around has been disappointing, so far, lots of profiles who've emailed me or viewed my profile or winked who are display red flags they aren't looking to do anymore than play on the pc.

I highly recommend doing some research, possibly locating a site that may attract members that have more of a focus you're looking for, whether it be making friends, dating to date, dating w intention of finding a relationship, etc.

I must add I used to be a member of link removed, gave it 4 months, but quit due to the site returning virtually no matches in my state, & matches that the site said matched my preferences shared in an intense, hour long questionnaire, I was not attracted to let alone interested in. It was funny, every match was someone who was EXTREEMELY religious, born again, saved...nothing against these matches, just not matches I was curious to communicate w & possibly meet.

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I have to agree with Aquarose on this one because I was with Match for a while back in 03 and yeah I was busy. This time I went back and found that I have been getting emails and winks but, no responses. I dont understand it myself but, I keep sending winks and emails hoping to find someone to connect with. The dating pool in NJ I think is a dry old well filled with sand.

 

I did the eharmony thing also and I did have sucess with that service. The problem was the person who I was with was in NO WAY a good match for me. She had some major anger issues that I learned the hard way.

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I have some more questions:

 

For the guys, do you actually get a lot of replies? ( the last time I heard, there's like a 7:1 ratio of male to female on these sites )

 

Also, how much replies do you typically get if you don't post a picture? For those who do post pictures, did you ever feel embarrassed doing so? ( in the sense that someone you know will find out and tell others )

 

Is it common to receive prank or commercial replies?

 

I'd also like to hear from anyone who had negative experiences with such sites. Online dating sites apparently do not receive good ratings ( based on link removed) and I'd like to hear someone substantiate or dispute these claims.

 

I know these are a lot of questions but I'm sure it'll help me and others who want to know as well. Thanks.

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I met my bf on link removed personals 3 years ago, and we are very happy together. When I was trying the internet dating thing for the first time (when I met him) I got about 15 responses in a few short weeks, but some of the guys didn't seem to be looking for the same thing I was ( a serious relationship) and so thought I talked to a few and set up a few dates, some didn't seem like a good match for me.

 

I'd definitely do it again if I were ever in the situation where I was single (which I hope not to be! I love my bf very much!), but it's 2005, and everybody's online, so why not give it a try?

 

Don't forget to include a picture, I know myself I skipped right over ads that didn't have a picture. I don't think it's shallow that physical attraction is an important part of wanting to get to know someone you don't know in terms of a relationship.

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Thanks for all the feedback but are there anyone here who didn't have good experience with these sites?

 

There are online reviews of these sites and most of them aren't positive. I hear that employees of dating sites sometimes post fake profiles and replies.

 

And for the males, were you ever daunted by the fact that there are at least 300% more male than female profiles online? ( which leads to the fact that most women receive a whooping 20-200 emails/week and don't bother to send replies to many of them )

 

Lastly, were any of you embarrassed to post a picture and afraid that someone you know might find out and think you're desperate?

 

I'm asking all this because I'd like a bit more reassurance. I don't really want to waste money and energy filling out long profiles if it's not likely to work.

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I have heard many men complain that I met more people online than they did. Everyone who had this complaint did not have a photo on their profile. Honestly as a woman my first thought is that if there is no photo the person has something to hide and in most cases I assume they are married, and I will not contact them. Also as far as people being embarrassed about friends and family seeing their pics online, what is the big deal? Afterall your family and friends already know you are single and looking. Online dating sites drew in almost $300 million dollars in the USA last year, so they are a popular way of meeting. As others have stated it is very important to be honest. I am in a year long relationship with a man I met online who I am just nuts about. Don't give up and remember that people spend more time researching their auto before purchasing it than they do getting to really know someone before they get emotionally involved. We chatted online voice and type for several weeks before meeting. That is the best way to go. Do not meet right away if you are seeking a serious relationship. Allow time to LIKE each other first.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I think online dating sites can be fun if you are not too worried about spending a lot of cash on different paying sites. I just signed up to a brand new site called link removed and while it has few members because it is so new, I know that I will eventually meet someone...because I have little competition right now I used to belong to link removed and eharmony but I got tired of paying all the exhorbant fees to them..plus the people I wanted to meet were not members yet..so that wasn't helpful.

So, I hope some of you will also try out this new site with me and we can discuss our responses here!

Don't give up online dating yet. The time you give it up will be the time that you were supposed to meet the one....and now you won't because they will not see your ad online.

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I also want to add, you have to have an optimistic attitude towards online dating...meaning that the one you want to meet is out there..somewhere..in between all the slime... I used to be afraid to meet people online thinking they were all a bunch of losers..and only losers meet that way...Well you know, people meet any way possible these days. Online is only one way to meet people. When people have introduced me to others, I did't like their choices..but online I have more of a chance to meet who I want to meet..those who have the same interests that I have. So...Don't give up. As I said before, try some free sites first, like the one I mentioned..contactmefree amongst others..oneandonly I think and plentyoffish..etc. Then you have nothing to lose with a free site..and who knows, you might meet someone!

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Sorry i'm not a bloke but here's what happened to me. I joined a site out of interest to see if the stigma to online dating should hold out & i learnt alot in the month i was a member. I didn't post a picture (only a hidden one that people had to request to see), had lots of messages from people who were old enough to be my dad & had the usual weirdos wanting dirty chats. However, i met some great blokes & still keep in contact with a couple (purely as friends).

 

There's one who stood out. We chatted on my first night, kept chatting daily for a month & met for the first time at the end of September. We had a great night, we've seen each other quite a few times since & things are looking good. I've got my head screwed on enough to know that it could stop as easily as it started but at the moment i'm having fun. He's a great bloke, lives close by & if i hadn't tried it out, i wouldn't have met him (or the others). My thoughts on the whole 'internet' thing have changed & if you're prepared for the negative experiences, i can't really knock it.

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It is so unusual to say this now, but just found out a friend of mine is beginning a dating/matrimonial site for singles, I think for those who are age 30 and over. I have looked at the site and if things don't work out in my relationship I would definitely sign up. It is starting up new so contact is free, so if you are single and 30 or more and wanting a serious relationship it sounds like a good deal. link removed My friend said the reason that they are starting this site is that she was on sites looking for her soulmate but there were people who were serious mixed in with people who were players. Gosh you know that is the real problem with dating sites,( I have complained of that so often myself). If you are serious you are having to go through profiles of people who are players, and vice versa, it really makes sense now to specialize. I know it still is time consuming to look, but better to be with like minded people than not.

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A friend of mine started the link removed site too, which will stay free fortunately. Right now there are only a few people on the site, but that will change soon. It will many great items coming up on the site..such as dating articles, and how to write a great profile etc...so stay tuned. It is can be difficult but is not impossible to find someone via online dating. You can learn a lot from asking them direct questions regarding specifics...such as are you married? What are you looking for in a partner? How well do they get along with family members..their mother and sisters etc. Do they even talk about family life? All of those things can tell you a lot about a person. It is helpful to meet after a certain point in a public place for a brief amount of time..then you will get a chance to see them in person, because online they could present their best possible personality...and in person, it is a different story.

The thing to remember is that everyone on a online dating site is in the same boat..they are all lonely and looking for someone. The married ones however are looking for trouble however... But fortunately most people are fairly upfront about what they want after a certain age..you would think...

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Sorry the site my friend is starting is link removed Leave it up to me to make a spelling mistake. I agree that you would think after a certain age people would be honest, but that is not the case. The annonimity of the net just makes it so easy for people to creat a fantasy. That is unfortunate for those of us who are genuine.

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  • 2 weeks later...

The answer to your question yes it works. If you are a shy person, have a nice picture and know how to approach online, it works.

 

I advise you to look for new sites which you'll definitely find someona I am currently registered with a new site called link removed It's pretty good and one month free, I made so many friends and will pay after one week, I guess. So give it a try, being free dating site gives you good opportunity to find an answer to your question.

 

cenk

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The answer to your question yes it works. If you are a shy person, have a nice picture and know how to approach online, it works.

I do not take good pictures. I am ugly to begin with, but I look even worse in pictures. So where does that leave me? Frustrated and alone once again. It is definitely not my profile because I called to cancel my memvership at a personals site and the guy said that my profile was perfect. I joked at how my picture clouds my profile and he thought it was funny... but he made no comment about that.

 

I e-mailed 25 women with my pic, no response. I tried it again with about a dozen women, no response. I tried different pictures. No luck. It doesn't work for the ugly plain and simple. Those who tell you looks don't matter when it comes to personal sites is wrong. Ads in the paper where you don't need a picture, that works. But online you need a picture. It works with the profile hand in hand.

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Have you tried a different photographer? Someone who is an artist in the art of bringing out the best in people's pictures? There has to be someone out there who will put you in the best possible light. I find it hard to believe that you are so ugly that no-one would want you. Regardless of that, there many people out in the world who meet...people who you wouldn't expect to find anyone..because they are...shall we say..less than beautiful..but, nonetheless, they find someone and they fall in love. With beauty or handsomeness or lack of it..there has to be another thing that a person has to offer if they do not have the beautiful appearance to promote. It could be money or brains that will compensate for the appearance aspect...but there has to be some factor or factors that will make up for the looks. It is true our society places way too much emphasis on looks..in fact it is downright disgusting in fact. It is a fact of life, and that is the way it has been through the ages. We like other people whom we feel are attractive.

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I think it doens't work most of the time. Here's the reason, I went th this online dating website just few days ago, yes there wqas this fine guy there and I did wrote him on his e-mail and gave my e-mail. Results: No answer. So it's better when you meet him/her in person than trying online dating.

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