Do you test your BF?

[angelheart]

I received an email from my BF telling me to goof around tonight just to make up on things he have done to me last weekend, he blew off our date. I am pissed off about the "blew off" but i get more pissed when he emailed me about having just sex tonight. So I emailed him telling him my period is delay. NOw he haven't replied anything. I'd asked him to talk to me tonight about this but still no reply. Actually, im on my second day of my period, I just want to test him and see his reaction if he would care or not. Am i insane?

 

Do you girls sometimes do some test like this to your BF?

Is this already a bad sign in our relationship like he already chickened out?

 

I dont know if he will show up tonight, i'll keep u updated.

 

Thanks girls and guys!

[kellbell]

That stinks, I would be mad too. I would not give anything at all tonight. Put him on ice for awhile, he needs to understand that he can't treat you like this and thatyou are a human being with feelings. You should not have to test your man like that. Good luck and let us know what happened.

[DN]

When you test a partner in a relationship you are also taking a test - and you already failed it.

[RayKay]

Never test someone who does not know they are being tested. Actually, even if they do know it, don't do it. It says more about YOU, then it does about them (whether they pass it or fail it).

 

And if I can understand what you are saying, you are testing him by telling him you are late and maybe hinting you are thereforeeee pregnant - very immature, deceitful, disrespectful and plain immature - as well as just plain lying.

 

If you have issues or concerns TALK to your partner, don't "test".

[randy]

All women test their men on a conscious and subconscious level .

[ehm doubleyou]

All women test their men on a conscious and subconscious level .

 

and same with guys too

[kellbell]

I will second that ehm doubleyou, my boyfriend tested me all the time when we first started going out.

[DN]

I don't agree that all people test. But even if some do, the sort of test that the poster is suggesting is exactly what RayKay said it was. And it could badly backfire.

[randy]

All women test their men on a conscious and subconscious level .

 

and same with guys too

 

yes , . . . true , . . . very true , . . we , also test or girls as well . It's fun testing them sometimes . Testing her then watching her get all nervious hehe . . .

[RayKay]

All women test their men on a conscious and subconscious level .

 

and same with guys too

 

yes , . . . true , . . . very true , . . we , also test or girls as well . It's fun testing them sometimes . Testing her then watching her get all nervious hehe . . .

 

Oh yeah, that's super.

 

Tests are not respectful or a favourable way to do things. Maybe sometimes you do test people subconsciously - well of course you do as you do need to determine over time if they are right for you or not. But I think consciously "testing" someone, and then being happy and having FUN about it when they get "all nervous" is tremendously detrimental to the relationship.

 

Relationships are partnerships, and equal partners don't purposely try and send each other through the wringer. If you suspect they are not trustworthy, or not compatible with you, let them go. Don't start creating tests. As I said before, it says more about you then them, and is NOT the strong respectful foundation for a health relationship.

[randy]

All women test their men on a conscious and subconscious level .

 

and same with guys too

 

yes , . . . true , . . . very true , . . we , also test or girls as well . It's fun testing them sometimes . Testing her then watching her get all nervious hehe . . .

 

Oh yeah, that's super.

 

Tests are not respectful or a favourable way to do things. Maybe sometimes you do test people subconsciously - well of course you do as you do need to determine over time if they are right for you or not. But I think consciously "testing" someone, and then being happy and having FUN about it when they get "all nervous" is tremendously detrimental to the relationship.

 

Relationships are partnerships, and equal partners don't purposely try and send each other through the wringer. If you suspect they are not trustworthy, or not compatible with you, let them go. Don't start creating tests. As I said before, it says more about you then them, and is NOT the strong respectful foundation for a health relationship.

 

Sometimes It's necessary . Have you ever deliberately "tested" one of your partners ( current or past ) ? Maybe when the releationship get's to a certin level it won't be necessary .

 

But i mostly have "fun" with it .

 

For example , I'm out on a date etc . I see her take a quick glance at a guy that walks by then ask her if she thinks he's cute etc etc then watch her blush . Nothing serious but it's still a subtle way of testing .

[RayKay]

No, I have not ever deliberately tested someone I am with. Why would I? I don't need tests to get to know them or decide whether I want to be with them or not. And I have had both short term and long term relationships, I just do not see "testing" as a healthy building block to a relationship.

 

I know people who have - who try to get their partners jealous and test them by talking to ex's, or get friends to flirt with them to see how they react. To me it seems immature and insecure.

 

I would not say commenting on her looking at someone is a test though - at least not in the way the original poster is talking about. You notice she was looking and you comment - if you had set it up to have your friend walk by and see if she would look then it might be a test. She is telling her boyfriend she "might be pregnant" in a roundabout way to see what he will do. That's just plain wrong in my opinion.

[suprema99]

I agree with some of the other posters that testing ruins trust in a relationship. If you think about it, testing means to the person being tested, your playing major games. Like randy said, when the relationship gets to a certain level things might change. But I really don't think it's possible to get to that level if all you do is test your partner. It's just a form of munipulation, and some people fall for it, others are wise and completley lose trust, when that happens. Randy your girlfriend is one of those, that falls for it. That's the only reason you still have a relationship. A smart chick I hope wouldn't deal with that stuff. Just like some guys are dumb and fall for that obvious bs, when it's so obvious. I think it's normal for both sides in the beginning. But there will come a point in the relationship where it will end, or it will end the relationship.

[RayKay]

Very nicely said suprema!

[randy]

But there will come a point in the relationship where it will end, or it will end the relationship.

 

yes exactly . If it's still needed later on in the relationship then the chances are the relationship will not work. The general level of trust required is not there .

 

If testing is done it should only be done in the very start of the relationship . That's just my opinion and what i have noticed over the years .

[Poltergeist]

I'm a guy ok, and I hate being tested. My last relationship before the one I am in now. She used to test me all of the time. It usually ended in fighting and calling names etc. That relationship only lasted 6 month. I'm now in a relationship where instead of "testing" one another, we talk about any problems that we may have and we try to work it out. And I've been with her for 1 1/2 years now.

 

Look, if you really want to know how your boyfriend would react to you being pregent. Don't go about it in a roundabout way, thats just going to make him suspicous. You need to sit down with him and talk to him like hes a person. Because he is a person, not a lab rat that you can send through your maze.