Hope75 Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 Hi, I can't tell you how relieved I was when I read that you had gotten help, and that the police are going to talk to your police force and get this straightened out. Is there anyone that can stay with you for the weekend? If you can stay with a friend or co worker, somewhere where you can be safe until the police get more involved and your parents come home. When are your parents coming home? Thank God you sought medical attention, that is really scary about the swelling in your head! I hope you will continue to update us on your situation, and know that we are here for you, whenever you need to talk. Take care of yourself. Link to comment
ktog143 Posted September 19, 2005 Author Share Posted September 19, 2005 Hey everyone... Thanks for the nice posts. Unfortunately, my parents can't come home for at least two weeks. Needless to say, I ended up back in the hospital and got out today. It's all useless and I'm sick of trying so whatever happens happens I guess...Thanks for helping though and take care... Link to comment
Hope75 Posted September 20, 2005 Share Posted September 20, 2005 Hey everyone... Thanks for the nice posts. Unfortunately, my parents can't come home for at least two weeks. Needless to say, I ended up back in the hospital and got out today. It's all useless and I'm sick of trying so whatever happens happens I guess...Thanks for helping though and take care... Why were you back in the hospital today? Have you seen him? Is there a friend that you can stay with until your parents get back? Link to comment
snowgirl Posted September 26, 2005 Share Posted September 26, 2005 God, I just want to hug you. There are organizations that will help you. You just need to tell the people at the hospital that you need them to help you. They will give you housing if you need it and protection from this guy. You need to get away from this jerkoff right this minute. He may end up killing you if you don't. Please. Call them now. If you don't want to call the hospital, call the National Domestic Abuse hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE Please. Please let them know every detail. Please ask them to help you stay away from him. You can't do this on your own, you need help. That is what those people do for a living, and they do it well. You will not have to come up with money, they will be able to take care of you. I am not a violent person, but reading your posts makes me feel that way. I want this man's head on a platter. I want him to suffer twice what you have. Link to comment
ktog143 Posted September 28, 2005 Author Share Posted September 28, 2005 Hey everybody... I am sooo sorry that I haven't been able to update until tonight. Hope75 and snowgirl, thank you so much. It felt very good to read your posts tonight and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. My parents finally came home after the last episode. I asked them to bring my laptop because I'm in the hospital now but they said that they weren't allowed. Well that was a week and a half ago and now that I'm up and walking I just went on the hospital's computer. All I have to say is that my hurting days are over (well, until I'm done healing from this of course ). The ex broke into my house the one night while I was sleeping and was totally enraged because I "told on him." He had a bat with him and just kept beating and beating me with it. I don't remember much of what happened but needless to say, I was hurt VERY badly. All I remember is him waking me up by picking me up out of my bed and throwing me down the steps. I broke my leg. Then he came down the steps and that's when he started beating me non-stop. I knew he wasn't going to stop until he let all of his anger out and I knew that he had a lot in him so the only thing I could do was play dead. I just layed there. Finally he left and I was able to crawl to a nearby phone. I got as far as dialing 911 but I don't remember stating an emergency. I guess the police came anyway and ordered an ambulance from another town but by the time they both got there I was out cold. I didn't wake up for a few days. Not even to the sound of my parents' voices. My skull was severely bruised and I suffered a few fractures in my face. I'll need surgery on my one cheek bone but that won't be for another week. I'm just taking it day by day and the more time that goes by, the more I'll heal. The police knew right away who did it based on my previous complaints to them and to the other policemen. My ex is now behind bars and I can't even begin to tell you how ecstatic I am. I'm not even worrying about the future when he gets out because I think his conscience will eat at him for awhile and maybe he will change behind bars or get a taste of his own medicine. My parents are here to stay and they always cry and tell me how sorry they are. Eh, I don't care. As long as they're with me now. Right? Anyway, I just want to thank each and every one of you for your generous help and support. Thank you so much and may God Bless every one of you. -ktog143- Link to comment
acuraman Posted September 28, 2005 Share Posted September 28, 2005 I am glad that the douche bag is finally behind bars, its about time. I hope they charge him with the maximum allowed in your state. Its also good knowing that he wont be battering you anymore. Thank you for updating us on your situation. I wish you the best and good luck... Link to comment
sorryJason Posted September 28, 2005 Share Posted September 28, 2005 I just wanted to say how sorry I am for all the things you had to go through, but I also wanted to thank you for posting all the horrible details of the abuse, it was very hard for me to read, being a person in therapy to stop abusing. I am so sorry, when I read those things, I realize how scary it must have been for you, god I am so sorry. I now know what my ex must have felt like, I never put her in the hospital, but I did bruise her. I am glad that you finally got him behind bars, and even if the law doesn't punish him strictly(which they should, especially if you have all that proof) he will suffer with what he did to you on his conscience. I also wanted to offer this little gem of wisdom, don't ever be fooled more that once. He may be honestly sorry, he may cry and feel bad, but after the first time he put you in the hospital if he didn't realize he had a problem, there is something wrong with him! I will pray for you, if that is alright. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted September 28, 2005 Share Posted September 28, 2005 OMG, I am so sorry!!! What an awful thing to go through! You must be in so much pain! I'm glad he is where he belongs, behind bars, and you are safe and being taken seriously and taken care of. Have you thought about pressing charges on the police dept for not taking your requests for help seriously? I am so sorry that this happened to you. Will you keep up updated? He is such a monster, I can't tell you how upset this makes me!! Link to comment
gemz Posted September 28, 2005 Share Posted September 28, 2005 Poor poor you He sounds like a complete bas*ard. I really hope he hasn't done any lasting damage and that one day you will be truly happy again. Good Luck hun x Link to comment
RandomAdvisor Posted September 28, 2005 Share Posted September 28, 2005 geez. Thank god you're alright. Let's hope he stays there for a long time. Link to comment
shes2smart Posted September 28, 2005 Share Posted September 28, 2005 How horrible! I am glad to hear you are alright and we were able to help you. That which does not kill us makes us stronger. Once you have physically healed, please take the time tend to your emotional and spiritual wounds from this situation. Some days will be better than others, but keep working toward your own healing and wholeness. Link to comment
ktog143 Posted October 3, 2005 Author Share Posted October 3, 2005 Hey everyone, Thanks for the supportive posts. Well the good news is that my ex got sentenced to a minimum of 10 years in jail. Like you mentioned, Hope75, my parents are looking into possibly suing our police department for ignoring my complaints. We'll see how that goes. I'm feeling a little better I suppose. I have surgery on Wednesday so I'm a little nervous. I guess it will be for the better though. After I recover from the surgery I'll be able to go home. I don't know how I'll feel about that though. My parents are also thinking about moving back home. That would be wonderful because I have a nice ex-boyfriend there and the only reason we broke up was because of the move. Who knows what will happen, but I really don't think I want to live in my house anymore. It brings back too many bad memories. SorryJason -- I just want to say thank you. It's kind of scary to think that there are so many abusers out there, but it takes a lot of guts to admit that you are one and that you've done wrong. I hope you get past that stage in your life and leave it in the past. It's great that you're getting help for it before it got to be a serious issue. I know that you said you never sent your ex to the hospital, and I don't mean to sound harsh or anything, but even bruising her was very unnecessary and unexcusable. I don't know, maybe you should just tell her that you are sorry to maybe calm some of the fears that she may still have of you. It may make her sleep more soundly. Thank you for the token of wisdom, but I don't plan on ever talking to him again; I just want him to learn his lesson. It's great that you did and I wish you the best of luck with bettering that part of you. shes2smart -- You're right. It is very hard but I'm just taking it day by day. That's all I can do. The hospital is sending me to therapy once I heal physically. They said it is just as important, if not more, to heal emotionally. I'm hoping therapy will help ease the pain and stop me from being scared of everything. It's going to be a long road ahead, but I have lots of love and support so that definitely helps. I hope all is well for all of you and thank you for the uplifting posts. Take care. Link to comment
snowgirl Posted October 3, 2005 Share Posted October 3, 2005 I am so relieved to hear that you are being heard and that this animal is in prison where he belongs. Re-reading your earlier posts made me want to hug you (gently!) all over again. I am so sorry he put you in the hospital and has hurt you so badly that you have to stay there for so long. It makes me sick to my stomach to read about it, but your writing it down so clearly and frankly makes me realize that you are one okay chick. Being so pragmatic about this is going to get you far in life. I think it's correct that your physical scars will fade, but your emotional ones will probably take some work. It's important that you realize just how serious this is, and how... (I can't even think of a word that's strong enough) horrible this thing is that happened to you. This is a major, major deal, and you are very strong to have gone through it and still maintain your humor and general cuteness. Hugs to you. I hope you do keep us up to date as much as you can. Link to comment
suprema99 Posted October 3, 2005 Share Posted October 3, 2005 Ktdog143, I'm so happy this guy is behind bars. I'm sorry you had to get hurt like that before he got locked up. I hope you heal and take care and hopefully he'll be locked up for a long time- goodluck Link to comment
ktog143 Posted October 10, 2005 Author Share Posted October 10, 2005 Hey everyone I'm just writing to update. I had my surgery on Wednesday and everything went well so I stayed over a couple of nights for them to keep an eye on me and then I was released. I'm home now and healing pretty well - physically, that is. I'm not as strong as I thought I was emotioinally, but I'm trying... As soon as my parents brought me in the door when I got home I just lost it. I can't live here much longer and my parents are looking into going back home because they miss it there, too. My parents try to keep me busy and out of the house as much as they can but sometimes I don't want to because I'm still in a lot of pain. I'm going to start therapy soon so I hope that will help a little. I talked to my wonderful ex-boyfriend from back home and he calls me everyday. He wants to make the distance thing work again - especially if I'm going to move back home. I didn't tell him what happened because I know he'd be very, very, very upset. I'm not in the state of mind to relive it by telling the whole story anyway. So, that's my life in a nutshell as of right now. Of course this semester of college was shot due to never being able to attend classes and such. I talked to all of my professors and they are working something out to let me complete the important assignments so that I can keep my credits. I don't know, it's been rough but I'm just doing the best that I can as of right now... The worst part is sleeping at night. The hospital advised me to take sleeping pills but I'm one of those weird people who can't swallow pills so that doesn't really go to my advantage. I don't like having to depend on drugs anyway unless I'm sick or something. My mom has been sleeping in room with me so that's been a huge help. I do sleep with a light on though. I try to find some humor in the situation. I feel like I'm 5 years old all over again. I don't know...but I just figured I'd update in case you guys cared to know. Thanks for the comments. Snowgirl - you are such a sweetheart and your comments have definitely brightened my days so thank you. Take care everyone..... Link to comment
Hope75 Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 Hi ktog, Glad to hear that you are on the mend. I did have a question for you though-- how did your ex get arrested, tried, and sentenced so quickly? I've never heard of any justice system moving as quickly as this one did! Just curious how that got expidited. Link to comment
ktog143 Posted October 10, 2005 Author Share Posted October 10, 2005 Hey Hope, Thanks for the post. Well the whole thing blew up as soon as my parents got home. When the last beating occurred, the police arrived at my house with the intuition that it was my ex who did it. They know that I have been complaining as soon as the beating has started and they have always helped him out. Obviously, every one of those policemen involved in helping him get out of trouble could lose their job for ignoring a citizen in need of help. When my dad came home and found out that I had been asking for help and reporting it all he was completely angered at our town's police department - especially since they don't have many calls anyway because it's a pretty small and safe area. My dad went right down to the station and screamed at them and said that he would sue if they didn't get their a$$es in gear. Needless to say, the night of the last attack they went right to my ex's house and took him into custody. My ex broke down and admitted everything to them and that is why they immediately put him in jail. There was no need for a court hearing since my ex admitted it all. He knew he would be in jail for awhile so he wanted to put his time in right away. The county judge automatically sentenced him to the minimum of battery which is 10 years because this has been ignored and going on for so long. Link to comment
caasiopia68 Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 your parents dont believe you?!?!? how could they think you were joking on something like this??? Link to comment
Hope75 Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 ktog, I am glad to hear that he didn't fight the system and accepted that he needed time away. I pray now that you can put your life back together and do something for yourself. Best of luck, and keep us updated! Link to comment
snowgirl Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 Oh, I am so glad you checked in with us, and that you are home and your Mom is taking care of you. You poor thing. You have been through so much. But like I said, I know you will be okay, I just wish you didn't have to go down this road at all. Why not tell your ex everything when you are ready to talk about it. Sure he will get upset, (of COURSE he will, who wouldn't?) and sure it will be hard to talk about it, but talking about it out loud really does help with trauma like that. (and yes, I am speaking from my own experience, which was a slightly different circumstance, but icky just the same). I guess that's why you are here, I know, but try it face to face with someone you trust. It may not be easy, but it really does help a great deal. Keep us posted, young lady. Link to comment
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