This has been bothering me, take a look please.

[misery12]

Hey.. I feel somewhat down today.

This feeling isn't uncommon really, It comes and goes pretty much daily.

I always see people my age (16) with their boyfriend/girlfriend, and I wish I could go back in time and have that again, and I find myself going "you're stupid.. you lost her.. look what you missed out on".

 

I feel so frigging lonely sometimes even though I have lots of friends, and family.. sometimes it doesn't feel like enough. I've only been single for a few months, but maybe it's just that I don't have closure with my ex or something.. because I don't think I do.. I find myself still hoping she comes back occasionally.. and other times.. i'm like.. no way.

 

I'm just starting grade 11.. and I worry about having sex now and all that stuff too.. only one or two of my close close friends have.. and a few of them haven't even had a girlfriend yet, but always seem happy. What can my motivation be to stay happy?

 

It sucks.. i'm attracted to a few girls at my school, but only a few are girlfriend material, and only a couple are single. If that.

 

I don't like dating outside my school either.. what can I do to get past this?? I really need help. Should I just worry about grades.. and worry about relationships later in life.. like in university, and such.. it's just hard in highschool when you're constantly hearing stories of which 2 people did what things with their girlfriend.. and I dont' even have one.

 

It doesn't help seeing my ex and her boyfriend everyday either. He's in grade 9.. she's in grade 10. They don't talk as much through the day and her and I did.. and I hear that he told his friend he's only with her, to have a girlfriend, type thing. I also hear from a source they don't even really like each other too much.

 

One more thing.. she has a website.. and in the past few days there's been annonymous posts in her guestbook saying "you're too good for him, he gets around quick.. you can do better" but nobody leaves their name.

 

Anyone know what I can do to feel better about high-school situations/relationships and my current situation?

[hazlcha]

Hey bud,

 

Think about this. If you keep looking over your shoulder, you might hurt your neck. Just keep looking ahead and thinking about what you'd like to happen. Don't try to compete with someone else's standard of success, just be yourself and be cool.

 

When I was a little younger than you, there was a girl I was mad for. Unfortunately, the richest/best looking/most athletic guy in the class took her away from me. Life s*cked. When we all grew up and went in different directions, he eventually dropped into a huge addiction problem that he never recovered from. He had seemed so happy as a kid, or at least he should have, with all the stuff he had going for him, but he was miserable inside. Just goes to show you.

 

So, first of all, I'd change the user name you chose. It gets you down. Start thinking about the things you want to be, don't dwell on setbacks. There's an old song like this:

Happy talk, keep talkin' happy talk. Talk about things you'd like to do. You've got to have a dream. If you don't have a dream, how you gonna have a dream come true?

 

It's natural to feel "left out" in your situation, so you've got to center yourself. You are 16 (going on 17 - couldn't resist THAT lyric), so you're really young and have a great future. Spend your energy on dreaming, planning and doing. Go laugh at yourself and be 16!

[misery12]

Thanks man, that actually made me feel quite a bit better.

I just need words like those to think about once in a while, and I know in time, I won't even feel this way anymore.

Thanks.

[DN]

Stop checking her website - won't help you to move on. And don't limit yourself to girls at your school. There are advantages to dating someone from another school.

[Tully]

I know exactly how you feel! I am 22 now, but I was like that in year 11 too. Honestly, I dont think you should be giving yourself hell because you dont have a girlfriend, sometimes being with someone is a real pain and being young and single is the best thing ever. Most of the popular kids at my school ended up losing out big time when we left school. If you dont look for someone you will find them, especially if you dont limit yourself to your school. Enjoy being at school, you may be single but you see your friends every day and trust me, it makes being single so much better.

 

Its all good and well saying this but when its happening to you right now its a whole different matter. If you have been feeling like this for a while and its effecting you academically and socially maybe you should go see a counsellor if possible. I know its not easy at school or living at home seeing someone, but if you think its an ongoing issue I suggest you look at your options.

[misery12]

Thanks for the reply.

It doesn't affect me in anyway except for emotionally, which is only on the rare occasion.

 

I think time is the power healer in this situation.