Will he cheat?

[frustrated101]

I don't know my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 yrs now. He just started a new job and there is a girl there that is continously flirting with him. I am not usually jealous but this girl really gets to me and she is provoking me all the time. I don't know whether to just ignore her and trust my boyfriend and hope that he won't cheat or slap her silly. My jealousy is really getting to me and I don't know what to do about it.

[Blue Skittles]

She should not be flirting with him if she knows he is in a relationship, her actions are definitely wrong. Ultimately, it is up for your boyfriend to deal with. I think he should talk to her and tell her that it is inappropriate.

[Natedoggld182]

If you question him and act like he is already then...... he might.

 

Be happy he's found another friend (even though you're), make him feel like you completely trust him, then he will feel like you completely love him and he will probably become a bit more open with you about the whole thing because he will feel more comfortable, so you will know more about what is going on.

 

If you act jealous, he may start to hide things, even small insignifacant things because he knows that you might get angry,

[Natedoggld182]

Don't blame your boyfriend for her flirting with him, if he flirts with her then you have a right to blame him.

[frustrated101]

I think the worst thing is that she still tries even though and says nasty things about me but my boyfriend not saying anything to her does that mean that I should be worried. Or is he trying to make me jealous.

[frustrated101]

If he let's her flirt with him is this wrong? He let her write something on his hand that that said she had slept with him and that it was great how do I not act jealous. He did show me when he came home though and said that we should just laugh about it.

[Natedoggld182]

I think if he doesn't stick up for you then, that isn't right. and this gives you a reason to confront him about him, he should be sticking up for you, no matter what. If this is happening where he isn't sticking up for you and you confront him, you have to make it clear that it ISN'T a jealousy thing or a trust thing, and that it is about how you feel disrespected when he doesn't take your side. Make sure you tell him that you completely trust him and dont care that he talks to her, you just wish that he would stand up for you, and you feel hurt because of it.

 

what do ya think. (i went through except i dont think he was talking bad about me, but the whole flirting thing i can relate to)

[Natedoggld182]

well, if he let her draw on his hand that is mutaul flirting, and i would definitely confront him about it, and say somthign like, "I completely trust you and i know you would never do anything but it HURTS me when she does things like this and you dont do anything about it, or stand up for me.

[Natedoggld182]

If he let's her flirt with him is this wrong? He let her write something on his hand that that said she had slept with him and that it was great how do I not act jealous. He did show me when he came home though and said that we should just laugh about it.

 

 

 

Well, she is obvioulsly trying to make you jealous b/c then she WILL have somethign to bad mouth about.

[frustrated101]

Thanks so basically just wait it out and see and try not to get jealous. Because he said that if I continued to act jealous he will stop telling me things. Then there will be no trust and then no more relationship. Just really scared to look stupid it there are signs of cheating happened way to many times.

 

The worst is when they come home to tell you that someone flirted (nicely putting that) and leaving out the most important part of the flirting like that he slept with her. They always told me that they never did anything. So basically just really scared about this whole thing. I would like to think I got a good guy this time.

[Natedoggld182]

i hope what i said helped, i went through something similar, and she never cheated on me, but if I would you I would confront him on how you wish he would stand up for you when she says hurtful things, because it hurts you, b/c then when he is around her that will be in the back of his mind, not the jealousy thing, and if you have a good guy everything will be ok...

[DarknHandsome]

maybe you need to tell your bf to have a chat with her and tell her its innapropriate for her to act this way because

a) he is in a relationship which he is happy with

b) they are coworkers and must maintain a professional relationship

c) his gf is off her meds and happens to be 2 time competative pistol shooting champion (this doesnt have to be true its just for kicks)

[Day_Walker]

I think you need to know that you dont have any control over him cheating. It makes no sense to get emotional because of this girl, she would not be forcing your bf to cheat it would be a decision that he made and if you want to be upset with anyone be upset with him.

[Dannysgirl]

Hi Frustrated,

 

It sounds to me like you need to give your boyfriend a good tongue lashing! What on earth does he think he's doing letting some girl write that she slept with him and it was great on his hand???? And then he as the gall to tell you 'not to be jealous' or he'll stop telling you things!!!!!

WHAT?

It seems to me that your boyfriend is really enjoying this attention and to be honest he almost seems to be in cahoots with this girl to make you jealous, he really appears to be getting off on it.

Sit him down and tell him that you are not going to be treated like this, you deserve better and if he doesn't pack this behaviour in he can put his boots under this other girl's bed!

Think about this for a second, what would HE say if you came home with a message on your hand from a guy saying how great in bed YOU were??

I doubt he would like that would he?

 

I have been in this situation before where my ex would always be 'running in' to his ex girlfriends when he was out (without me of couse-funnily enough we never ran into any of them when we were together!) who would of course be flirting and inviting them back to their houses for sex etc and the whole thing was basically just to make me jealous because he was so sad pathetic and insecure that he needed me to get jealous to feel good about himself. a little jealousy in a relationship is healthy in my opinion but when a person is actively trying to make their partner jealous as yours appears to be doing then I think that is totally out of order and you should tell him to grow up.

As for the girl, well if it were me she's be picking her teeth out of the back of her throat by now, but then so would the boyfriend!

[Fif Angel]

Take your boyfriend, sit him down and tell him he`s being inappropriate.

The definition of cheating, in my book, is anything sexual or relating to sex that one partner in a relationship is unhappy with. You have a right, thereforeeee, to tell him that this sort of behaviour makes him uncomfortable and ask him to stop.

 

Here`s another way of looking at it. Ask your boyfriend if he would be happy with sone guy writing stuff on your hand about how he slept with you etc.

Would he be happy with that? Thought not. In that case, he shouldn`t be letting another girl do it to him. Simple as that. It`s a question of basic respect.

 

When you`re talking to your boyfriend about this, don`t be accusative or emotional about it. Just tell him calmly and rationally that he has to take this girl aside and tell her that her behaviour in inappropriate. He can be polite about it but firm. You need to nip this thing in the bud now or this girl will end up thinking that she has a free reign with your man and starts upping the ante even more.