PLEASE HELP, DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!

[MIKEDSF]

MY GF OF 6 YEARS WHO TELLS ME THAT SHE NEEDS TIME ON HER OWN, TO FIGURE THINGS OUT FOR HERSELF, BUT STILL TELLS ME SHE LOVES ME, AND IS HAVING SEX WITH SOME GUY SHE DATED TWICE. I TOLD HER I WANT TO WORK THINGS OUT, BUT IF WE CANT I NEED TO NOT TALK TO HER ANYMORE, SHE TELLS ME SHE LOVES ME, BUT RIGHT NOW SHE CANT. I HAVENT TALKED TO HER IN 3 WEEKS, AND I AM GOING CRZY WHAT SHOULD I DO

[dfcannon]

Sorry to hear about your troubles with her. There's a good website that addresses issues like yours in great detail, and I think it will free your mind from these kinds of decisions again. It's link removed.

 

Essentially, this woman is speaking for womanese for "We're done and I don't care how you feel anymore." She's acting very badly, to say the least. You are letting her walk on you now, and her respect for you drops in proportion. So, walk away from her and stop calling. Try your best to heal and forget her.

 

I don't know her or your situation exactly, but I have a strong suspicion that the main problem is her, and you're best to be rid of her. You certainly cannot trust her now. I'd be very skeptical and cautious about getting together with her again.

[crookster_man]

Cannon is quite correct. She is done with you and she is trying to tell you without "hurting your feelings". Or so she would like to believe (it alleviates her quilt). Time and time again, I've seen people break it off with someone and jump into something new. Almost always it fails and makes the situation worse, people never learn.

 

They say the foundation to a good relationship is communication. Well the ground which that foundation is built upon is called respect. You cannot communicate honestly if you don't respect each other. She does not respect you. She may say she does, but it is not true.

 

Your relationship feel apart long before this happened. I'm sure it wasn't a complete shock that you guys broke up. If it was, you need to do some soul searching, obviously you're not aware of your partner. I think however you saw it coming.

 

That being said, take what lessons you can from this relationship and use it as a learning experience. It's time to rediscover who YOU are as an individual. Stop defining your life through the eyes of the "relationship". Join new groups start new activities and take your mind off her. It will take time and pain to move on, but don't dwell on the sad feelings (which are okay to have) focus on the positive.

 

Honestly do you really want to give her the satisfaction of being the guy who broke down because she left you? Be true to yourself first and foremost. Good luck with everything. I suggest you look around this site, under the heading "LETTING GO" you will find some really good stuff there. You're in the wrong section "Getting back together" because for that to work it takes 2.

[marcusnavy]

got the same thing goin on, i know it hurts like hell when she tells you that stuff and believe me shes tellin you the truth so the quicker you can just walk away and let her go the faster she will realize she needs you and come back to you. if you just give her what she wants and let her try to make herself happy then she will see that she wants you to be there with her. its kinda like a test.

[kdreger]

The problem is her wanting a break (that's ok - it happens). The problem is that she's sleeping with someone else. That's where she disrespects you. I'm sorry to say that even though you love her, by sleeping with someone else she's showing you she doesn't feel the same way. Cut your ties. If you truly want her back, you have to give her time to fall on her face and regret leaving you.