How do I keep my relationship alive?

[serena112]

I have been with my bf for 8 months. He is 26 years old and I'm 21. He is divorced and has a son. In his past relationships he has been cheated on and mistreated. I don't think he trusts women that much. We were doing fine until he lost his job and his car. He now does home repair with a friend and is currently living between his friend's house and his parents. He has a lot of pride and refuses to ask for help especially from me. Lately he has been working so hard that he doesn't even have time for himself or me. I hear from him maybe once a week. I love him so much and I don't want to give up on us. How do I show him that I want to help him? How do I prove to him that I will stand by him?

[gracee]

doie she like surprises? why don't you give him a surprise visit.. but be careful okay.. that kind of guy are chauvinists.. don't offer him money okay... try to look jobs for him and then give the company's name but be sure that before you tell him you already inquire to the company and you see to it that it would fit to his qualifications okay?? give his son a gift and take him out for treat...

[Gilgamesh]

you are a very sweet woman, and he is lucky to have someone like you in love with him, just be supportive, ask how things are doing, offer to give him a massage, or throw him a little surprise party on a day he has off, on those days you are together, show him you love, and make those days special, he is working hard to get back on his feet, you affection is what is giving him some of his strength, he has had many things go wrong, your that one thing solid in his life.

 

As for helping economically, i wouldnt give him any money, this might offend him and make him feel less of a man, but lets say you know he needs a drill for example, you could give it to him as a present at a party you throw for him, say, its your 100 week aniversery etc whatever excuse. since its a gift and not charity, he will feel fine about it.

[sameasalways]

Hi! I am not sure if there is any clear cut answer. I can tell you that my husband now was the same when I met him. He was very cautious, which is good. I was very easy going with the whole situation, knowing he wasn't ready to get involved in something serious at that point in time (after his wife had just cheated on him and divorced him). To be honest with you, he still has that cautious side in him......I think maybe men take it harder than women when they are cheated on, because maybe they think that women don't cheat or something. When it does happen to them, they are wounded very deeply and never forget. I have been married to my husband for 6 years and he still remembers. I don't think you can change a person's feelings most of the time, nor should you waste your time trying. I did sympathize w/my husband before we were married as I had people cheat on me over and over. It was something we both could agree about, and from that point on, we also felt we had the same "ground" rules for a good relationship/cheating prevention. WE were both adament about married people should not go to bars/clubs alone and various other things that we felt were asking for something to happen. A lot of people think that is crazy but we have been married 6 years and no one thought we would last. All I did, was know myself, know I was a good person, a worthy person, and someone who woudln't do something horrible to him and let it show in my behaviors and actions, not so much my words though like I said we discussed our opinions on cheating and relationships. We didn't rush into sex in my book but I do think once we did get to that point, it helped him get over the bitterness of his ex. Also I was very strong as I was a single mom for a year, and had strong ideas about what was right and wrong and what I would and woudln't tolerate in a relationship when I met him, and I let these be known to him. I think that is what really got him, is that he coudl easily see what type of person I was, and it made him feel comfortable with me. I am not sure if that helps or not.

[gracee]

hello, im back, okay i had a bf before who is very chauvinist, he loves protecting his ego thats why i want you to take extra care in giving help to your bf...just don't let the day ends without giving him a call or just tell him how much you loved him ok?? about his, i believed its the only you can help him, take care of his son while he is out for looking for a job, try to go to his place twice aweek to take care of his son...

gracee