Ex GF Website Dilemma

[simon_uk]

I am in a bit of a dilemma. The website I did for my ex is up for renewal 0n the 25th August, I just got an email saying that I will be recharged $44 because it is regisered in my name. Now I have no intention of paying it nor do I have ny intention of contacting her to tell her. So the only other option is to remove my paymeny details which I tried and it wont let me unless I put in another payment method. What should I do? any advice?

[DN]

Is this a business or personal website?

 

If personal just let it go. If business send her a business-like e-mail saying the website is about to expire.

[simon_uk]

It is both really DN. But The site won't let me login, says use does not exist and when I click the email link it will only let me put in new payment details not delete existing details and she doesnt have a credit card!!!

[brahman]

i think you need to take the time to call up your ex or just let it go and pay the bill. you need to make a choice?

[DN]

Oh, well, she should have thought of stuff like that when she was treating you so badly before. Let it go.

[lindey1988]

U should tell her. That would be really rude not too. If she doesnt pay it, thats not your fault but u should atleast let her know.

[simon_uk]

U should tell her. That would be really rude not too. If she doesnt pay it, thats not your fault but u should atleast let her know.

 

Do you know what is really rude Lidey? the fact that the day before she dumped me I purchased a bed for her on my credit card for $600 and she hasnt paid that back yet!

 

i have just cancelled my credit card, hopefully that will solve the problem. I would rather not contact her, she will haev to contact me when her site goes down and we can take it from there. Thanks All

[shes2smart]

Contact the company that billed you for the website. Get in touch with a real person either via e-mail or phone. Explain the situation to them, including contact info for your ex if possible.

 

I had a similar situation with an e-bay account I had set up to use for a charity I was involved with. The charity did not have a credit card, so I used my personal credit card to open the e-bay account for their use. When I moved and was no longer involved with the charity, I tried to remove my credit card info from that e-bay account and ran into the same thing -- it would only let me enter another payment method, it wouldn't allow me to leave it blank. I got in touch with their help desk via e-mail and explained the situation. It took some time, but I did manage to get the account completely closed. It probably would've been a shorter process had I been able to talk with someone about it over the phone, but e-bay doesn't operate that way. Irritating, but that's another story.

 

Anyway, your best bet is to contact the web hosting company's billing department and tell them what's up. If you tell them how to contact her, they may very well take care of letting her know the site needs to be renewed. At the very least, they should be able to remove your credit card info from the account.

 

Also, you could contact your credit card company and dispute the charge.

[WildChild]

Simon are you under a contract with a provider or server to this website? If you are dude, you gotta watch your back if you cancelled your credit card or you may find yourself ruining your credit by nonpayment and/or finding yourself in court And by the sounds of it your ex is not worth that. I work in the law field. BecauseI am not an attorney and can't give legal advice, I can however suggest this: send her a registered letter (one that she has to sign for to receive it) telling her that you will no longer be paying for this website stating why and that you are in the process of cancelling your payments. Once your payments are cancelled, any future payments if she chooses to keep the website is her responsibility.

 

Contact the website admin ASAP and get the process started. Be sure to keep all correspondence (i.e. emails), write down or document all conversations with them including the time, date, whom you spoke with or their rep ID...also if you end up having to talk to the ex again about all of this do the same thing.

 

This does two things: It help supports your side should the website take further action against you, and if you would end up having to take your ex to court because you have had to make further payments (until you can resolve the issue with the website) you have documentation of notifying her and it helps you remember dates etc....by the sounds of it, she isn't known to pay you back and if this cancelling your payments takes longer than anticipated, $44.00 per month can rack up fairly quickly.

[heloladies21]

If you cancelled your card, it can't be charged so you did the right thing. Pay off any remaining balance on the card. Don't contact her under any circumstance. Let things be.

[simon_uk]

~So here I am worrying about the imminent contact when her site goes offline in the next few days and what happens? She texts me this morning with more random comments. This time she tells me that there is a sale on at Land of Leather and asks if I have got a new sofa yet.

 

What?!?!?!?! I am thinking either she is very lonely or perhaps there is a subtext there, i.e she is missing me and wants to find out what she can in a roundabout kinda way?

 

Anyway I have decided to send her an email anbd say look, this is how it is, you know my thoughts and my feelings but for the last time, do you want to try and work things out? If not friends is not an option!!

 

Comments Please?

 

Simon

[heloladies21]

Don't email her. She's just fishing to see if you're still interested so she can save you in her mind as a back up plan. Ignore her contact.

[DN]

You already told her that - don't tell her something she already knows. No point - all it will do is get you hurt again.

[simon_uk]

Yeah you are right DN. She has justed texted me again to tell me about this sale!

 

I havent replied. I dont want to be mean and or nasty! I just dont really know what to say to her! I want he but she needs to be the one to say it.

 

I just feel bad when it seems like she is trying to re establish something I could be wrong though.

[DN]

She needs to do more than say it - she needs to prove it with a lot of apologies and mega-efforts to get a relationship going again.

 

Don't trust her - you've told me enough that I can say that with absolute confidence. She has a very long way to go before you could ever trust her again. And this sort of nonsense is not the way to do it.

[simon_uk]

So last night I get another message from her telling me that the sale she was talking about was this Thursday for 12 hours, we then had a text conversation that went thus:

 

Me: Listen, I can't be your friend, it is too difficult for me. You were my best friend. If you want anything more then please let me know, otherwise just leave me. I am sorry It is hurting me.

 

Her: OK but when I thought I wanted more not too long ago you wasn't very enthusiastic. whatever you want.

 

Me: What you said you were drunk.

 

Her: O forget it, please dont do this. Just leave it SImon x

 

Me: YOu said you think you still love me and I said I wish things were different. You replied and said, sorry I was thinking about you and had a glass of wine. I am really sorry.

 

Her: You still only remember what you want to remember. x

 

Her: I thought it had been long enough for us to be friends, obviously not. Why are you doing this to yourself? Have you not met anyone else yet? It is the same thing as when 'X' left you. Deja Vous

 

Her: And the reason we split up us because you were hurting me. x

 

Her: What are you doing now? x

 

Me: I am at home

 

Her: Doing What?x

 

Me: Reading

 

Her: What your computer screen?x (She always thought I spent too much time on the computer)

 

Me: No a book. Why are you being mean to me?

 

Her: I am not being mean its just you acting like a bloody victim again.x

 

Me: I never wanted us to end. I have wanted you back ever since. I never meant to hurt you. I just want you to be happy. Night hun x

 

Her: Goodnight Simon xxx (

 

How bizarre!!! It started off pleasent enough. She has never actually said she wants to try again to me. She is confusing me but I want her back so much. I am trying to play it cool but I am finding it increasingly difficult. Things are looking so close and then going down hill. What to do? Anyone?

[alphonsefa]

Me: I never wanted us to end. I have wanted you back ever since. I never meant to hurt you. I just want you to be happy. Night hun x

 

Dude, bad move here. All this does is feed her ego and lets her know she has the upper hand on you emotionally. She'll start to mess with another guy, and when it doesn't work out, she'll come sniffing around your door again. You think you are helping yourself by telling her these things, but it has the opposite effect. You want to get in her head, you want her to think of you? Then tell her to go away and that you two are "over". Next time she texts you, text her back, "by babe, I'm moving on, we are over!" and leave it at that. Don't text her back, leave her hanging, leave her wondering where this new attitude of yours came from. It will also rock her world if she still has feelings for you. She'll think you have met someone and how dare you move on before her. Afterall, in her mind you can't be happy without her. I guarentee if you send her this message, her attitude will shift and shift quickly!

[DN]

Stop talking to her!! Make the decision and just stop!

[simon_uk]

Thanks for the replies everyone. I just have one question.

 

Have I screwed any chance we may have had?

[DN]

Thanks for the replies everyone. I just have one question.

 

Have I screwed any chance we may have had?

No - she did that and did it quite deliberately.

[simon_uk]

No - she did that and did it quite deliberately.

 

Why DN? I dont understand.

[DN]

Because she is the one who broke up with you saying that you were not committed, she is the one who refused your proposal of marriage which you made to prove that you were, she is the one who has been bitter and nasty in most of your subsequent dealings and she is the one who is being devious and manipulative now.

 

That's why.

[simon_uk]

Because she is the one who broke up with you saying that you were not committed, she is the one who refused your proposal of marriage which you made to prove that you were, she is the one who has been bitter and nasty in most of your subsequent dealings and she is the one who is being devious and manipulative now.

 

That's why.

 

Good Points! Why am I such a pathetic loser?

 

Thanks DN

[DN]

You are only a loser if you allow yourself to be used. So don't allow yourself to be used.

 

Take control of your life.

[simon_uk]

I have tried taking control of my life. I have tried going out on dates, I have met many women but none that I feel happy with. It has been five months for me in this split. I have worked on myself mentally and physically. I feel and look a lot better than before. However I am still wrapped up in this relationship. I still miss her like crazy and I still think I did certain things wrong that caused the breakup. I feel guilty and regret my actions.

 

I have tried to make things right with her, I have not pestered her and bothered her. I have stuck to NC and only had any dealings with her when she has initiated it.

 

I am good looking, smart, witty and talented and I have more of a life than she will ever have but that shouldn't concern me but it does.

 

I want her even though she has treated me badly, that makes me a loser.