Mixed and confused feelings about what to think about my bf.

[shawty88]

Ok well I'm really confused about how I'm meant to feel towards my boyfriend and what I'm supposed to do as many things have happened recently;

 

first off he never comes through with what he says. He tells me he will do things and I'll ask him about it and he'll say he forgot.

 

When we had a break, he told me he loved me and a day later he spoke to this girl and said he was totally over me and didn't care about me.

 

He'll tell me things and then say "he forgot" (he's in a drug psychosis at the moment). He promises he'll get off the drugs but takes them the next day and when he's paranoid he takes the paranoia out on me.

 

He makes plans with me and then messages me on the day I'm supposed to see him and says he's with his friends.. so basically as soon as his friends call him he drops all plans made with me to go out with them and get wasted.

 

He's always, ALWAYS accusing me of cheating when I'd never ever cheat on him.

 

He tried to get on to 2 of my friends in front of me, his excuse was "i was wasted"

 

Also, I'll admit I'm pretty insecure about my physique yet he tells me how hot girls are and how they have nice tits etc etc. He said he says it to piss me off.

 

I'm also not comfortable with him looking at porn and all those magazines and going to strip clubs and I told him yet he disregards my wishes of him not going or looking at them. If he really wanted me to quit something or not go to something and if it made him feel really uncomfortable, I wouldn't do it because I know it would make him feel awkward.

 

I've never been in this situation before.

[HappyKat]

I'm going to be very blunt, and sorry if this hurts/p's you off:

 

This guy sounds like a total loser. Don't be a doormat for him.

 

Granted, we can't expect to be in 'first place' in someone else's life, but as "girlfriends" we shouldn't be in LAST place! (this is one reason I walked away)

 

You deserve someone who respects your feelings and wants to be with YOU.

 

And drugs are a HUGE no-no.

[DN]

Why are you still with him when it seems that all you have are problems in the relationship? Time to give serious thought to that.

[shawty88]

I'm going to be very blunt, and sorry if this hurts/p's you off:

 

This guy sounds like a total loser. Don't be a doormat for him.

 

Granted, we can't expect to be in 'first place' in someone else's life, but as "girlfriends" we shouldn't be in LAST place! (this is one reason I walked away)

 

You deserve someone who respects your feelings and wants to be with YOU.

 

And drugs are a HUGE no-no.

 

yeah I know, it does seem like i'm last place and just a rebound he comes back to but I'm not 100% sure on this.

he also says he loves me and I believe him.. I don't know.

[shawty88]

Why are you still with him when it seems that all you have are problems in the relationship? Time to give serious thought to that.

 

Because it's only been happening recently.

[DN]

You ask how you are meant to be feeling - here is not a right or wrong way, necessarily. The impotartant thing is - how do you feel about him?

[shawty88]

You ask how you are meant to be feeling - here is not a right or wrong way, necessarily. The impotartant thing is - how do you feel about him?

 

I don't know how I feel.. and I don't know how I'm supposed to feel at all. Like I can't say I'm angry because I'm not.. and I don't know how to deal with everything that has been going on so I'm just really one confused person at the moment.

[DN]

Perhaps you should list all the reasons you want to be with him one one side of a piece of paper and all the reasons you don't on the other. Then decide if you think one outweighs the other. If you decide you want to leave him, then that is simple. Note: not easy but simple.

 

But if you want to stay with him, that is more complicated, because you have to decide what things about him have to change in order for you to get the relationship to work for you. Having done that, you have to talk with him about those issues and see what can be worked out by negotiation and compromise. If he can't or won't - then you have to decide to stay or go.

 

But the main thing is to sort through what you want - and if you can get it.

[HappyKat]

he also says he loves me and I believe him..

 

Words talk, actions SCREAM...and (IMO) he's not acting like he has any regard for you all.

 

As long as you don't come between him and his next high, things will be just fine.... Don't walk, RUN!

[shawty88]

he also says he loves me and I believe him..

 

Words talk, actions SCREAM...and (IMO) he's not acting like he has any regard for you all.

 

As long as you don't come between him and his next high, things will be just fine.... Don't walk, RUN!

 

He does at times but then he doesn't so it confuses me.