Do guys just befriend girls or....

[Jetta]

Are they always looking to get involved with them in some way? I have this belief that guys and girls can be friends but my ex says this guy is befriending me to get with me. Is that true? My ex says I'm just being naive by believing he has no other intent than friendship. Is he right?

[lady00]

It's been my experience that lot of frienships start that way...one party (maybe both) will initially be interested and then they will end up becoming friends often because as they get to know one another, they get comfortable and the attraction fades away. But I don't think it's always that way. A lot of people will end up hanging out with a group and making friends with people of the opposite sex that they aren't interested in.

[asdf]

i think some guys do it because it feels easier for them. i'd get to know them first, but i'd make it obvious i was interested.

 

i do have female friends who i consider just friends, and could not imagine going out with them, cause it'd be weird to think about them in that way.

[darkblue]

I also have female friends, whom I could never picture myself with.

[asdf]

^ haha i actually tried imagining it when i type that post and the idea scared the hell out of me.

[darkblue]

You've got me imagining it now...

 

Nah, I doubt it.

[Kurodashi]

I think when friendships form between two straight people of opposite sex, it will always be a possibility. I must admit I always feel easier around my guy friends who are taken or homosexual, that being said you need to communicate where you stand to be fair.

 

If you DONT want him flirting, tell him very early on, as early as you can. If you don't mind either way... recipricate any flirts or lines.

But just make it VERY clear you just want to be friends, if that is what you are after. That way if he tries it on after that, you know he's a sleeze.

 

If you tell him youre not interested and he ditches you, then you know he was just using that to get into your pants. If he sticks around regardless, he's a friend.

 

I hope that works for you.

[suprema99]

I agree with kurodashi, He's not a sleeze if he finds you attracive, but as long as you tell him early on, he'll go for another girl and not waste his time unless you know from him he wants only friendship.

[Stari]

If you tell him youre not interested and he ditches you, then you know he was just using that to get into your pants.

I do not agree. If he knows that he cannot turn off his attraction he realises that he cannot be only a friend.

[goddess23]

honestly in my personal experiecne every guy friend of mine at ONE POINT OR ANOTHER has liked me. but i dont think all of my friendships have been initiated because of some type of physical attraction, but yet sometime during the friendsihp the guy has developed feelings for me but for some it died down for some they were obsessed but being taken definitely helped.

[Mr. B]

As a male who has almost all female friends, I can certainly say there's no guarantee a guy is always just looking to get into your pants. IF that is the ultimate goal, it's seldom hard to tell.

[wlfpack81]

In my honest opinion if a guy doesn't want to a date a girl and he's single / straight then most likely that girl isn't attractive in his eyes. Otherwise if a girl is attractive to a guy then he's most like becoming friends in the hopes of eventually dating, and becoming a couple.

[MetallicAguy]

Yeah he's more than likely right. I don't know what this guy does really but some guys act out as friends at first then once you and your bf break up they ask you out. I've seen it I even have friends who have done it. Although I think most of the girls were smart and realized the guys intentions....because he didn't really get anywhere other than a friendship .

[asdf]

In my honest opinion if a guy doesn't want to a date a girl and he's single / straight then most likely that girl isn't attractive in his eyes. Otherwise if a girl is attractive to a guy then he's most like becoming friends in the hopes of eventually dating, and becoming a couple.

 

it could depend on whether or not the guy has his eyes on somebody else too.

[Hephaestus]

I've had women friends on and off for most of my life. When I befriend a woman, it's always as a friend. Usually it stems from being in a similar situation (work, school, college, etc...) and I do enjoy their company as a friend. I would have to say that 90% of the girls I befriend, don't get along with most women for some reason.

 

I've also found it's nice to have a woman's perspective when I do find a girl that I want to ask out. Unfortunately, attraction is a risk when you have two people of the opposite sex form a close personal connection. The majority of my girl friends have admitted to having a crush on me.

 

A few of them I developed feelings for after getting to know them better, not before.

[ShySoul]

I've always had more female friends then male friends. And of those I've been interested in very few of them. For most guys they are just interested in being your friend. Now, if feelings develop then they develop. But thats not their goal or intent.

[DonDonTheTrueDonDon]

Nearly every guy on the planet doesn't have intentions to just be friends with a perticular girl. That isn't for every situation though. For example there is this really cool girl I work with who is married all ready and I like her very much but I don't want to get with her or anything. Reasons for that, she doesn't look like the kind of girl I am interested in, she is married!, and she is about 3-4 years older than me I assume. But I would love to be her friend as a co-worker at least. But there are other girls I do really like since they are similar age, single, and attractive to me. And in that case, if they show any signs of interest level for me I will try to pursue those girls right away. Anyway, if you see some guy trying to be real friendly with your girlfriend then there is almost a 90% chance he is trying to steal her from you. You might think that is jealousy but it's not. Just look at the statistics I made up.

[ShySoul]

Anyway, if you see some guy trying to be real friendly with your girlfriend then there is almost a 90% chance he is trying to steal her from you. You might think that is jealousy but it's not. Just look at the statistics I made up.

 

If the statistics are made up, then why should they be believable? You've got nothing to back it up.

 

And why be concerned? So what if he's trying to steal her away? Don't you have faith in your girl that she will see through his act and only has eyes for you?