Teen attitude or something else?

[Jinx]

I have a younger sibling which is currently sixteen years of age and her behavior strikes me as somewhat odd, yet I may be overanalyzing. I have a busy schedule thereforeeee we don't spend as much time together as we used to. This I have a feeling will be lengthy post to explain, and I apologize for that.

 

To give an example of the situation, one time my mother was at the hospital and both myself and the rest of the family was there. She and I found an alternative waiting area to avoid the excess crowds and people gathering in the main one. I decided to begin a conversation with her, she was very curt in answering general questions. I assumed it may of been the stress of the current situation, it hasn't been helping any of us stress wise. Well, eventually she started answering and conversation was lighter and more fluid then suddenly she crossed her arms, her head went down and she stopped talking to me. Of course I was worried and concerned to say the least so I started asking if she was Okay, and eventually she just looks at me and states in a matter of fact manner - Leave me alone. I'm not interested in talking to you. - Then goes back as was. Ignoring me entirely. It was odd and I didn't push the talk any further and she was entirely content to remain silent.

 

Following day, she was a relentless chatterbox. We talked a lot about everything and anything and she was very open and intiated all conversation, I didn't even need to help starting them up. She was bouncy and happy as a lark. I decided then it must have been an off day the day before, how could she go change that rapidly. I have friends that will change, but not quite that massive and within such a short time frame, usually it is a bit more gradual.

 

Weeks later, she had dipped into the attitude which she had the day at the hospital. This time, we were waiting to pay in a general store, she said to me, I'm going out to the car. She started walking. I explained this would only a few more minutes and rather (given the area and people) she stayed with me, and she just shrugged me off and kept going. Later, parents proceeded to explain she just happens to do that sometimes, she doesn't like to stay anywhere any longer than she has to. So okay thats fine but I'd rather when we're in a situation like that, that she'd stay by my side to avoid any trouble. They said they would talk to her about it. Thing is, she couldn't get in the car, I had the keys, and she didn't give me time to give those to her either before she walked out, so she just stood outside by the car door all that time.

 

Eventually I realized, despite having extremely hot temps. and even heat advisories out and about, she wore long sleeve shirts and no shorts each and everyday. Just being curious, thinking maybe with the unusual behavior and clothing, maybe she was doing something to herself and trying to cover it up, that is why she insisted on such clothing in the middle of a scorching summer. She and I used to always compare our tans (despite I've never had a tan in my life). She tans easily, I burn easily. She always found it interesting how pale my skin is especially on the underside wrist area, where as she is the opposite of this. I took the time to put this into affect and brought up about comparing "tans" like we used to. Instead of being happy to humor herself with it like she always had before, I got this cold suspicious look that sparked my interest just why she acted so against this. Eventually went through with the arm/wrist comparison, nothing more than a couple scars she had earned during an accident years ago as far as I could tell, but the attitude was strange. Maybe out of the blue, self conscious about having them?

 

We then inbetween had a discussion concerning friends. I had been out with a couple of my own telling the tale of what we did that night. I asked her about what friends she has at school. I receive the same - Why would you care - look and in return, I don't like the people at school. They're all idiots and losers. I'd rather not associate with any of their sort. By the way, I don't like you either, but mom and dad said I had to talk with you. Well that hit me like lead, I've never did anything in my life to bother her. When I'm around, that is when she really has the chance to get out and about and explore the city, and jee, she sure did a good job acting pleased beyond belief if she didn't like me taking her out shopping or to events and so forth here and there.

 

There were these situations among many others and conversations which made me curious. She changes moods rapidly. One day she'll be your best friend and lively, social, wonderful person. Next she could care less if you dropped over dead and expresses absolutely no concern about others. Same, one day she'll talk about people who she liked and dealt with in the past, next, she hates everyone and there is no purpose for her to bother with anyone other than herself. Secondly, if anyone that knows her from school sees her out in public, they'll all say Hi and be real friendly like and the most she does to acknowledge them is a nod *If they're lucky*. Most of the time I noticed she would turn her head and ignore them entirely.

 

I spoke to my parents about this and they said its the same phase I went through during my High School teen years, being with family is such an "out" thing, unfortunately I don't think that is quite the case. I was horribly shy and talking with others was awkward, I didn't like it because my mouth sometimes went before my brain did when I got excited to talk and made this terrible jumble of nonsense words. If someone said Hi, I'd always return the hello, I was pleased when someone spoke to me first. I loved outings with my parents, and for awhile my mother could of been coined my best friend because I wasn't exactly most social conversation wise with others my age because I didn't fit the drinking, drugs and sex mold. Eventually I got over all that and am more of a social bug when I can be.

 

Whereas she is willing to talk when she feels like it. Once, a few people she never even knew were having a conversation on a controversial subject, and she butted right in like she belonged and started debating. She has no qualms about being social or arguing with everyone and anyone when she feels like it and has fully expressed it. Her teachers which I've known or spoke to say she is their most intelligent and expressive student - When she has the urge, she is the life of the class during topic discussions. It almost seems on the side she has this IQ complex going on that if she doesn't believe they're her equal or above they aren't worth it, and if you can't argue it, it isn't worth time or effort.

 

It may be just an extreme teen attitude, arrogance, but I am afraid there might be something more than just those ticking and wondering if anyone has had a similar situation with a sibling and could shine some light down on possibilities. More so, should I be concerned or let it slide and take on the " if it's not broken don't fix it" outlook.

[DN]

I think it is likely that it is just teenage angst and rebellion against family. Since you are older she may be putting you in with 'them' rather than 'us'.

 

However, if you can do so without causing WWIII try to find out whether she is doing drugs or is cutting. That is not going to be easy without directly asking - but try anyway.