Just a general question for the guys...

[sweetchick]

Ive just been wondering... Why do guys not date "fat" girls? or whats up with that?

[darkblue]

Phsyical attraction is necessary to be able to date someone.

 

Most men look for the slim, blonde, big breasts.. i could go on.

 

There are, however, men out there who are particularly partial to 'meaty' women.

 

I don't judge a book by it's cover; many men are like me.

 

There are men out there that don't mind. Honest...

[misery12]

Guys do date overweight girls..

But I understand what you mean.. I think it's because of the obvious though, men are attracted to slim, fit, attractive girls.. and some "fat" girls aren't classified as one of these.

 

There are many men out there that like the overweight woman, because there's "more to love".

 

If you're wondering because of yourself, don't get down on yourself because men should look past the outside and love you for who you are, and if there is a guy that you like, that only wants you for your appearance, screw him... you wouldn't want a guy like that anyways.

 

Hope this helps.

[SkyFire]

I am going to be honest.

 

Being overweight is not a sign of femininity, just like being scrawny for a guy is not a sign of masculinity. If you want to attract more guys, I suggest you lose the weight, just like gaining muscle for guys gets you more female attention.

 

It is true that some overweight women do have really good personalities to make up for the appearance, but I would not settle for less. I would find a girl that has a great personality and looks great. It's rare, but personally, I never lower my standarts.

[darkblue]

I am going to be honest.

 

Being overweight is not a sign of femininity, just like being scrawny for a guy is not a sign of masculinity.

 

It is true that some overweight women do have really good personalities to make up for the appearance, but I would not settle for less. I would find a girl that has a great personality and looks great. It's rare, but personally, I never lower my standarts.

 

Where does it say that overweight women can't be feminine?

 

There are deffinately guys out there that would disagree with that comment SF.

 

Your standards being?

 

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. One woman that you may find attractive may be ugly to another.

[SkyFire]

I never said overweight women can't be feminine. I said it is NOT a sign of femininity. Overweight women can be feminine just like scrawny guys can still be masculine. But the overweight factor will still be against them.

[darkblue]

There are some men who don't look for femininity anyway.

 

My point is, Never change to be something you are not. It's not fair on you or anyone else around you.

 

There are somethings you can change about yourself; if it makes you feel better. But never change to get someone or attract certain people.

[YZRiderF]

hes trying to say do it for yourself , lose the weight and youll be more happy with yourself. And why wouldnt you want to lose weight, i love working out once you see results example for guys your stuck at a certain bench press and you start moving up you feel good.

[darkblue]

I was making a general comment.

 

This topic did not ask whether or not the specific poster should lose weight or not..

[YZRiderF]

I agree you shouldnt change your personality for someone unless your violent or something to the extent. But if your overweight i think you should lose it for yourself you dont have to be scrawny i personally dont like women that are really scrawny. But being obese isnt healthy

[fate or freewill]

Personally, I don't like fat girls because their is too much girth to deal with.

 

Even if you just want to hug them you gotta get through all that extra meat and it is a big turn off. In addition, when you try to have sex with them, it feels like a mountain climbing expedition.

[darkblue]

If you would kindly look up google to find the difference between 'over weight' and 'obese'.

 

There is no mount everest on an obese female.

[YZRiderF]

well apparently no one can have opinions or adivice. So ill just have to agree with you.

[Spirits Away]

Guys who give advice for a girl to go on a diet is doing a favor for her. We want her to be good, to be attractive one day. I understand where your standpoint are, darkblue, but it's better for facts to hit it hard than to comfort the overweight.

 

I've seen testimonial after testimonial how happy the obese & overweight becomes when they lose weight from workable diet. That is what I called hope.

[sweetchick]

well i wasnt asking for myself... Its my friend she's not like obese... But she is really pretty and I think she has a great personality but when it comes to dating guys its like none. I have tryed to sit her up on 4 dates so far but well they blow her off. Makes me wonder how shallow guys really are! But anywaze... Thanks for the opions

[winterfairy]

Um. . . sorry guys, but nobody needs to change their physical appearance for someone else. Nobody needs to change ANYTHING about themselves for someone else, unless that behavior is damaging to the other person (abuse for example).

 

We will all be old and wearing Depends someday- all of us in the same "seniors only" line at IHOP. We'll all be ugly, and most likely obese. So get over it.

 

I have a great boyfriend, and neither of us look up to society's rediculous standards. You think we care? Actually we took the time to become best friends before dating, falling in love with each other's personalities so that we would KNOW we would be compatible when we are too old to look "good" anymore. That's what is really important.

 

Sure I drool over hot guys like any other girl, but most of them are jerks. I'd rather have an ugly guy who treats me nice than a hot guy who thinks he's the best .

 

Some girls can't lose weight easily. Some of us were born with bad genes that make a diet an excruciating experience of starving ourselves just to lose one or two pounds. It isn't that easy to tell someone to lose weight. You don't know what that person's been through, or how their bodies are, or if obesity runs in their family. Honestly, I just feel really sick whenever people judge others by their appearance. I just feel sick. . .

 

There. Didn't meant to preach, but this runs very close to home and I feel strongly about it. I had to toss in my two cents.

[Spirits Away]

yeah... I understand.

 

Shallow guys like me just see it in this perspective:

 

"I am attracted to slim girls, i see fat girl, i want her to be good, i advise her to be slim so she can be attractive too"

 

Nobody is pressuring you. I guess overweight is okay. But don't be at the higher end of being overweight. There would be more blood clotting and all sorts of diseases would occur. Don't diet for others, diet for your health.

[SkyFire]

My point is, Never change to be something you are not. It's not fair on you or anyone else around you.

 

Then how does an antisocial geek become a confident, successful man?

 

You should want to lose weight for yourself, like one of the poster said, because you know you are worthy of the best.

 

Not fair to anyone else? I thought you said you shouldnt care what others think anyway...

 

But anyway,forget what anyone says. If they can't keep up with you as you better yourself its their problem not yours.

[winterfairy]

~Spirit's Away~:

 

Yeah I deffinetely agree. There is a time when you have to decide for yourself whether the health risks are worth it or not. I am slightly overweight, but I am healthy. I will never allow myself to become dangerously obese. I just don't like it when people look at me and say "go on a diet" whenever I am perfectly healthy and my only problem is that I don't look like a supermodel! Basically it feels like they are telling me how to live my life, when I am happy with the way I am and do not feel it is necessary to be "hot".

 

I used to kill myself trying to lose weight and be beautiful. I have a hard time losing weight because of my genes, but I was anorexic by the age of twelve. I was tired and cranky all the time. I couldn't concentrate. I was sick and fainted all the time. This is just not acceptable to me. Now that I am older and more mature I realize that this is a big problem for young girls (and just girls in general) trying to live up to something that doesn't exist, trying to please everyone but themselves and in the process hurting their bodies MUCH more than a little extra weight ever could! And I get really mad whenever someone's self esteem is destroyed to that point because of fat jokes and rejection based on weight and/or appearance. . . But I see what you are saying. No, it is never good to be obese- but only because of the health risks involved! A little extra weight never hurt anyone, and shouldn't be a problem in a relationship!

[ShySoul]

The only reason one should be concerned about weight is for their own health. It should have nothing to do with attracting the opposite sex. That being said, if people are overweight but still in good health, what's the problem? Losing weight won't make them a better person or make them there "best."

 

And guys, look at it like this. Give the choice, would you prefer someone who is underweight? That's a much bigger turn off in my book. Besides, someone who is slightly overweight just means more of her to love. And there is metabolism, some people are naturally going to be larger then others.

 

We are all great the way we are. You shouldn't need to change for anyone. The key is to be healthy and be proud of who you are.

 

Then how does an antisocial geek become a confident, successful man?

 

Well, as an antisocial geek I'll field that one. By realizing his strengths and being proud of them, using them to his advantage. I'm not social, theres nothing wrong with that. I have a few close friends, thats all I really need. And I still feel loved and supported by them. Success will come through hard work and dedication. Of course that depends on what your definition of success is. If I don't measure success by a job, money, or number of friends, but by honestly touching a few peoples lives and doing my best to make the world a better place.... an antisocial geek can be very successful. Remember, geeks will one day rule.

[Cynder]

I will just say this:

 

I used to be a big girl, and when I was I never had a problem finding a date. Now that I am thin I still get asked out, checked out, and flited with all the time. It's all in the attitude.

[skyteph]

I will just say this:

 

I used to be a big girl, and when I was I never had a problem finding a date. Now that I am thin I still get asked out, checked out, and flited with all the time. It's all in the attitude.

 

I agree!

 

I have a friend who is noticeably overweight, and of course sensitive about it. She is this way due to a minor medical reason, and will probably always be the size she is (unless she gets surgery). At the same time I have a naturally super skinny friend who wishes she were around my size because she finds it annoyingly hard to find nice size 8 jeans! People are different weights by genetics and sometimes there isn't anything anyone can do about it. Being skinny isn't always better and weight shouldn't (but often does) change they way you feel about someone.

[JRM]

Thing is, most guys aren't attracted to bigger girls. There are definitely exeptions, but most men desire slimmer, fit girls. Not because we're shallow, not because of "society", but because that's just the way we are. There's obviously something in the human psyche that makes men more often physically attractive to slimmer girls. Personalities are important to us too, but they keep us in after the good looks bring us in.

 

If you want to lose weight, however, you should do so because you want to do it for yourself, not because someone wants you to. I work out myself because it makes me feel good physically,I like knowing that I have a good body with a good set of muscles, and I'm a health freak. The attention I get from girls sometimes is just a perk.

 

The point is to be whoever you want to be. If you want to lose weight to be healthier, or just to feel better about yourself, then go right ahead. But not soley because some guy told you to.

[ShySoul]

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Interesting article. There are plenty of guys who like bigger girls. If your a guy, maybe this can show you why. And if your a girl, use it as encouragement to be happy just the way you are. Interesting that race plays a role in this too.

 

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Another confidence booster for the larger sized women.

 

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Dating sites devoted specifically to the overweight. Someone's using them. Obviously there are guys going for these girls.

[Raspberry]

Not because we're shallow, not because of "society", but because that's just the way we are. There's obviously something in the human psyche that makes men more often physically attractive to slimmer girls.

 

No, men are generally more physically attracted to slimmer women because of society (or culture), and not because of some hard-coded male psyche.

 

You only have to have one look at Lillian Russell, the most photographed woman of 1890 in America, because she weighed between 180 and 200 pounds (between 82 and 91 kilograms).

 

Evidently, at one time, attractiveness on a general level was completely different than what it is today.

 

And no doubt throughout the whole of human history have there been many changes in the concept of "female attractiveness" too, varying between cultures.