attracted to his ex g/f

[Jerseygirl]

i'm involved with this guy but we are very hot and cold. After the relationship with his ex gf he never wants one again so i settle for the step below a relationship but ultimately i want more. He broke up with her probably this past september and that night me and him kissed.

 

Anyways ive heard that he treated her like gold. They were dating for 8 months. Supposedly he got [censored]around by her and said she was over-portective, jealous, etc. so he dumped her. In the beginning of our relationship though he would bring her up, telling me updates and how finally they are friends which he is very happy about. Sometimes online when she and him are on he will not IM me (my issues with the guy is a diff story, im currently not talking to him).

 

the bottom line is i always feel like she'll always be #1 and ill always be #2. She even resembles me but sadly sometimes when im down i think shes a better version of me, perfect straight hair, immaculate skin, amazing body and very smart. Although ppl tell me im so much more special than she is in personality and looks, i still am sooo jealous of her. He tells me he wants to take me out to dinner, but never has, and obviously he has taken her out etc. My jealously for her has weirdly turned into a sexual attraction for her....and i am not bisexual. I think i subconsciously try and see what my guy had seen, sexually, in her. Ive had this happen to a muchhhh lesser degree with my ex bf and his new gfs but this time i have dreams about her being my friend and talking to me. I hate it, ive never been this jealous before and i hate how im attracted to her....whenever i see her my stomach turns and i get so nervous...what do i do, any suggestions??

[Nkaleidoscopic]

What do you mean "one step below a realtionship" ?

[misery12]

What you have to realize is that she's just a human being like you are.

What makes her so much more special.. her hair? Hah!

Do not warship another human... she has fears, hates, loves, the same as you do..

 

she's no god.. do not see her as one..

[RayKay]

Why are you settling for less if you want more?

 

I understand you really like the guy, but if he has never really treated you as you want to, nor can give you what you want, is it really fair to YOURSELF to settle for less? I would say if he is not giving you more now, he won't later either.

 

Accept that his future might not include you, and work on moving on, stop settling for less that you want as I promise in the end you will wonder why you wasted so much time.

 

She is not better than you, nor is she worth less than you. You cannot explain why some people choose some over others, or fall in love with one person rather than another, they do, and perhaps their are qualities we cannot see. You cannot blame her for him not committing to you, that is HIS choice to do or not do. Yes she may have left him bruised, but it in his power to move on from that.

 

I think you are almost using her as a way to focus the reason he won't be with you more than he is, rather than accepting that things just are the way they are for his own reasons.

[annie24]

Ditto to everthing RayKay said.

 

You mean, he's never taken you out to dinner once? That doesn't sound like a good bf to me. And, I guess like you said, you two were never bf/gf so I guess that explains it....

 

Like RayKay said, everyone has their type, and you can't always rationalize it. Diana was beautiful and royal, but Camilla's the one who won Charles' heart.

 

I would permanently get this man out of your life. You are settling for so much less than you deserve.