2 years later......i still miss her....

[Oddjob]

Ok i never post here but wtf...ill keep it shrt and to the point, ill answer any questions asked about my situation.

 

I left my girlfriend roughly 2 years ago.....were were together 4 years, lived together, etc. I did this because i was immature, thought the grass was greener on the other side, missed hanging uot with "The Boys", etc.

 

Since her ive dated quite a few people but i havent found ANYTHING worth keeping....i thought ive found a few along the way but they werent what i thought they were.

 

Anyways, my issue is that i still think about my ex quite a bit. She seems to just pop into my mind almost every day still.......2 years later. What is the meaning of this? And when does this stop....i kinda feel like its hindering me to be comfortable with anyone new. She hates me, doesnt speak to me on the few occasions ive tried to contact her in the last few years....

 

Maybe someone out there is or hass been in the same boat as me and can give a brotha some advice

[DN]

Do you want her back?

[Oddjob]

Do you want her back?

 

Of course.

[DN]

Then try sending her a letter, or e-mail. A letter is better because it tends to be taken more seriously. Make sure you compose it carefully and don't say anything you don't mean. Explain why you left, why you regret it, what has changed about you, why you want her back and why you still love her. Apologise for hurting her, but don't grovel. Ask her to give you a chance to prove that you will not hurt her again and that you really do love her. Suggest meeting for dinner so that you can talk all this over.

[Oddjob]

Then try sending her a letter, or e-mail. A letter is better because it tends to be taken more seriously. Make sure you compose it carefully and don't say anything you don't mean. Explain why you left, why you regret it, what has changed about you, why you want her back and why you still love her. Apologise for hurting her, but don't grovel. Ask her to give you a chance to prove that you will not hurt her again and that you really do love her. Suggest meeting for dinner so that you can talk all this over.

 

Already did the "send a letter" thing.....im ignored.

 

I know its more than likely over.....i just cant seem to get the chic outta my head. It sux.

[apollocreed71]

well i am in the opposite situation. it has also been too years, she still keeps popping into my mind. I do everything to avoid any contact with her. well, i saw her driving one day, and was heartbroken.

will the pain stop, maybe maybe not. its all into you. but she is imprinted on your brain, so you will always have memories of her, and she will pop in your mind.

i guess its a hard lesson to learn. usually one day people grow up, and get into relationships, and priorities will change. as i get older it becomes more difficult to find good friends, why, they have families, jobs, and responsibilities, hey your family comes first. just think about it.

it sounds like she has moved on, so keep looking, maybe you will get lucky. Hey they say everyone has someone perfect for them. the only problem is that they may be on the other side of the world. ah,,, the sadness in that.

[Oddjob]

Yes, i do believed she has moved on....

 

But she has also spoken about me to mutual acquaintances not too long ago. I think it was upon hearing that i took a giant step backward.

[DN]

what did she say/

 

And when did you write the last letter?

[newts]

Why is she ignoring you? What did you do to her to make her ignore you?

I am thinking you have done something quite bad, as two years is a long time for somebody to continue ignoring you.

[Oddjob]

Why is she ignoring you? What did you do to her to make her ignore you?

I am thinking you have done something quite bad, as two years is a long time for somebody to continue ignoring you.

 

I didnt cheat, i explained briefly in my first post the reasoning of me breaking up with her. It was just a matter of me being very immature and unable to handle the pressures of being with someone that long.

 

And i wrote a letter probably about a year ago.....i sent a email maybe 6 months ago.

[newts]

I always believe in time you forgive and forget. So she obviously hasn't forgiven you, she just wants to forget you. I am sorry my friend it's time for you to move on.

[Oddjob]

I always believe in time you forgive and forget. So she obviously hasn't forgiven you, she just wants to forget you. I am sorry my friend it's time for you to move on.

 

I totally realize that.

 

Its just the fact that i cant forget.

[DN]

I would try the letter one more time and if she does not reply - give up.

[Empathy]

I'm telling you as a girl who has recently been SERIOUSLY burned...Now I don't know how she took the break-up but I know how I took MY break-up. And I'll just say this...if you were my ex I would be soooo happy to know that you wanted me back. Even if it was 2 years later. But the only reason I'd be happy that he contacted me to let me know is so I could tell him to **** off. Yeah. I can tell you right now that I was hurt bad enough that I don't EVER see myself forgiving. It already seems as though I'll be trying my whole life just to forget... I'm not saying she feels the same way I do. I'm just simply replying to let you know it is VERY possible she just wants to forget. I agree with DN. Try ONE more time. And if you don't get anything, give up. The chances are good that you contacting her could be hurting her. She may very well not be over you yet either.

[Oddjob]

Yes, i was that guy.....I indeed "Burned" her pretty bad looking back on it all.

 

She treated me like a king, and i tossed it away like a total moron. I think me having her in my head is my form of punishment for getting rid of something so good.

 

I think the regret keeps the memory fresh.

[brando]

Empathy... if the only reason you would want to hear from your ex is to tell him off then you have some growing up to do.

 

 

 

Forgiveness isnt for them, it is for you.

[DN]

Empathy... if the only reason you would want to hear from your ex is to tell him off then you have some growing up to do.

 

 

 

Forgiveness isnt for them, it is for you.

 

I don't agree about 'growing up' - I think it more about getting over the hurt before you can gain some perspective.

[brando]

DN you are entitled to your opnion, it wasnt an attack. Just that if someone hurts you and you want to hurt back, that is a problem, a personal problem. I have been their i know.

 

To want someone t contact you (an ex) just so you could hurt them back, is not mature. It doesnt matter what the other person does or did to you, this is the hard part. I dont believe any of us here were personally attacked when we were dumped. For some reason human nature does like to believe so.

 

Empathy i apolozize if i was harsh. I have been where you are now, and i know personally i never feel any better thinking that hurting them back will ease my spirit.

 

Forgiveness is for you... dont forget that. One can forgive an ex without taking them back, without being friends, or friendly toward them.

[DN]

I didn't see it as an attack - in some cases you may well be right, especially when some long time has passed since the break-up. It's just that it seems to me that Empathy's hurt is still raw and and when we are hurt we often act out of emotions rather then anything else, regardless of our level of maturity.

[Oddjob]

Thanks gus for starting a argument in my thread.

 

Im holding off on any letters to her, she knows ill always want her back...me still pushing 2 years later is pathetic.

 

If she wants me, she knows where to find me.

[brando]

oddjob sorry about the spat....

 

 

i wish you the best.