She talks dirty.

[I_KicKed_keNNedy]

I'm a little nervous about my girlfriend's vernacular when I am being physical with her.

 

We don't have intercourse, we have been engaging in oral sex and mutual masturbation for a while now, and its fun but...

 

When she's nearing climax she says the most disgusting/childish things. The only one I'm gonna mention here is "i'm gonna come baby..." followed by other expletives. Granted, at the time she says that, I have my face buried in her nethers, but still... I want a girl with some class/maturity, and she's got that except for these five-ten minute periods of time. I don't like that, but I don't want to say something because she's sort of the self-conscious type who would stop it, but she'd be really embarrassed... what do I do?

 

On a seemingly unrelated note, she wasn't very good at giving oral, and I was unable to orgasm for a while. Then one night she "suddenly" started doing some very different things, and I know it has something to do with one of the magazines I saw in her kitchen which recommended some of the things she started doing. I know that I should be thankful for her taking an interest in being better at that stuff, but I feel like it almost cheapened the act. Like, suddenly her focus was on satisfying me rather than just having fun.

[CowgirlFromHell]

Uhhh, do you want her to just sit there and not say anything? I'm sort of just baffled as to why you are bothered by it. You don't think that's hot? She obviously wants to please you, so again, why are you bothered? You know that Usher song that goes "I want a lady in the street, but a freak in the bed."? Well, that's what you have. I wouldn't even worry about it. Do you think that she's a promiscuous girl? I really can't understand why you are bothered by it. Please elaborate. How old are you?

[neewollah]

"I'm going to cum baby" is childish and disgusting???

 

 

Man, relax! My gf and I used to say those things, just to keep the other from changing to a different technique/position/speed and get there!

 

 

What part of making your girl "cum" is disgusting??? Man, I really wish I had a girl right now so I could do oral on her and hear those magic words! Nothing more beautifull/sexy than a girl having an orgasm, even better, if you are the one giving it to her!

[catgirl82]

you are being way too hard on your girlfriend. its a GOOD thing that she feel so uninhibited and relaxed around you when youre being sexual. she is having fun and is attracted to you. and what is wrong with her doing a little research just to make you happy?

 

stop worrying so much about all this stuff and just have FUN!!! its really not fair for you to be judging your girl like that. and, DEFINETLY dont say anything to her. she will probably be mortified and never want to hook up with you again- this is how i would react

[neewollah]

stop worrying so much about all this stuff and just have FUN!!! its really not fair for you to be judging your girl like that. and, DEFINETLY dont say anything to her. she will probably be mortified and never want to hook up with you again- this is how i would react

 

 

+1

 

If a girl told me to shut up while having sex, that would be the last time I would have sex with her. Sex is sharing yourself and communicating in a very intimate level with your couple, not about shutting them up.

[loveydovey]

I did things like noted tips and suggestions with/for my last boyfriend. At first, I didnt feel so comfortable....I just sat laid there, but then I became more comfortable with him and more inhibited, and I started saying things like probably what your girlfriend says but it was a very loving relationship and we just loved talking sexy to each other....I don't know, it kind of heightens the moment for some folks. But as someone else asked, why exactly does it bother you that much that you would consider asking her to stop it?

[RayKay]

I really am not sure why it bothers you - I don't see that as childish...most people would LOVE for their partner to say more/communicate more in bed - it is a sign of them enjoying it, and that they are comfortable, and often a way to tell someone they are doing right. If she feels it, she should say it! It is not like she is being abusive or crude "about" you right? Maybe in the moment those words get her going even more, or what she likes...do you ever say anything when you are turned on to her?

 

As for the other part...again huh? Once again, part of a sexual relationship is communication and also about giving our other partners pleasure and growth within our sexual relationship...that does not mean it is not fun at the same time! In fact, things would get pretty boring and stale without improving and learning as we go along..

 

I mean...I think your girlfriend has a healthy, positive attitude towards sex and your sexual relationship, and that is a very good thing!

[JynX]

Most guys love it when girls talk dirty in bed. It's actually a very big turn on. Thats what I hear from my friends and all their stories...I just dont understand why you think its so bad? She's obviously comfortable around you. I know I wouldnt be that open with someone unless I was super comfortable with being around them. I'd take this as a good thing instead of bad.

[socalguy123]

lol.. childish and immature...

 

one day, buddy, you'll realize that you have a nice little treasure there in your hot little hands.

 

 

frigid/uptight/"classy" women are boring in bed, are too rigid, un-fun, and overall incredibly obnoxious. i mean, from my perspective, i spend time and energy trying to get to know a girl, charm her, find out about her. i work on keeping myself fit, and in the meantime, trying to improve my rapport with her.

one day, a backrub leads to a little more, then all of a sudden i find out that she's boring, limpid, unadventurous, and prefers the "standard" (i.e. missionary) only? that, to me, is completely obnoxious. it's like, buying a cracker jack box for the toy, and you open it up, and you eat all the popcorn and peanuts, and in the end you have got no prize.

 

i mean, sex is an art! to be enjoyed! from others' perspectives and mind, enjoyed loudly and fully! it's not some kinda clinical ritual where everyone has to clam up and get the deeds done in utmost quiet... Although quiet can be fun (especially with friends or neighbors within ear shot LOL)

 

hope this helps..

[sweet_bebcho]

I cant see why you have aproblem with what she says in bed. Sex is a very important part of a relationship and the fact that she'e telling you that she's so satisfied with you should make you over the moon. My ex used to groan really load and whisper stuff in my ear like,'' tell me you want me to cum inside you!'' etc. He'd but his ear to my mouth so he could hear me breathe and when I orgasmed. It was gratifying for both of us to know that we satisfied each other everytime we had sex.

 

One day you'll realize, when you meet one of these women that just lay there bored and look like the'd rather be somewhere else, you'll get no feedback, not even a groan, and see how aweful you'll feel.

 

There is nothing childish about what she says, keep her!

[ShySoul]

She probably got the idea to say those things from the magazines you saw. So some of their suggestions you liked, others you didn't. That's how it goes.

 

Hard to say for sure without knowing precisely what she is saying to disturb you, but we''ll have to keep the language tame on here. I think what you would like is for her to show enthusiasm without resorting to that kind of vulgar language. Just because everyone else says it is a turn on for them and that you should like her saying that, doesn't mean it is appealing for you. Ever thought that not everyone likes a "freak" in bed, that classy can be very attractive and sexy?

 

frigid/uptight/"classy" women are boring in bed, are too rigid, un-fun, and overall incredibly obnoxious. ..one day, a backrub leads to a little more, then all of a sudden i find out that she's boring, limpid, unadventurous, and prefers the "standard" (i.e. missionary) only? that, to me, is completely obnoxious

 

Nice job of stereotyping. Yeah, people who are classy are uptight, frigid, and obnoxious. Maybe she was bored because you weren't making her feel attractive? I tell you, those classy people, shy people, or ones who hold back usually are the most adventurous of them all. They just don't show it unless the person is special enough to them. And if you really cared about her, "standard" would be just fine because of the feelings and emotions involved.

[I_KicKed_keNNedy]

In response to many of the questions I've been asked in this:

 

1. Sex and a meaningful relationship is about being able to lose your inhibitions around someone... yes, I wholeheartedly agree. With that person you can nibble, giggle, moan, and groan, all you want, but when someone starts speaking about it in the crudest of manners, I have a right to be offended by that too. Some of us still hold the act to be a little more than just getting your rocks off.

 

2. I don't want her learning about "me" through magazines claiming to know "me" when they base their info on many men who aren't "me". As this thread has shown, what floats my boat isn't the same as the others. I don't like dirty talk, I don't like a girl licking that area between my sack and my anus... She can learn everything about me by doing what comes naturally and seeing how I respond. That's how I learned about every single one of the areas on her body that elevate her.

 

3. A relationship with someone is about being honest and listening to your own feelings. Yes, you may be able to analyze me and tell me why psychologically i'm turned off by her talking dirty... but I'm turned off nonetheless. Yes, an ideal relationship might involve all kinds of adjusting and accepting the other person's idiosyncracies... I'm still turned off by locker room vernacular. If you dig it, dig it. If I don't, I won't. If I express disdain about something, don't tell me how to feel about it.

 

peace.

[ShySoul]

I_KicKed_keNNedy, you make great points and I, for one, think you are just fine as you are. Don't listen to people who tell you that you have to like certain things. You know what you like, stick with it.

[lady00]

Tell her how you feel. It seems to bother you a lot so you should just let her know. But be forwarned that it might not be something she wants to change and it may be a sign that you two are not sexually compatible. Your best bet is to just bring it up in a nice way and see how she reacts.

[gorgeoussilence]

Seems to me this girl is just trying to please you and you're to hard to please because you're kind of a snob. Enjoy her while you got her, because someone's going to come along who realizes how golden she is and snatch her away. Then you'll have your classy, non-childish right hand who will never say anything crude and trust me, will never, EVER lick that area between your sack and your anus.

[Laughing Sam]

IKK, a recent medical report showed that when a woman orgasms two distinct parts of the brain switch off, one of these is the part that ranks fear. Basically in orgasm you lose the inhabitations that rule our normal lives. This is what is happening to your g/f. If the use of this colourful language is against her normal persona, ever thought that it is turning her on to use it, because she wouldn't normally!

As for the reading of mag's to make her partner happy, more than enough relationships have failed because the sexual aspect was boring and dull, when you fail to excite each other in bed how the hell you gonna excite each other out of it?

I feel your g/f is a mature and considerate individual who is comfortable with herself and her sexuality, are you. I am not here to judge you or tell you what to do but it is a known fact that girls develop (both physically and mentally) faster than guys. I don't think you are unattracted by her behaviour (you are only to keen for her to b/j you) but are you adult enough for her needs?????????

[loveydovey]

but when someone starts speaking about it in the crudest of manners, I have a right to be offended by that too. Some of us still hold the act to be a little more than just getting your rocks off.

 

Does she call you names? Because if so, then I see where that may be potentially offensive. But truly, if she is just speaking from the high of her orgasms (which I'm assuming she really enjoys), she probably can't help but scream with ecstasy.

 

As this thread has shown, what floats my boat isn't the same as the others. I don't like dirty talk, I don't like a girl licking that area between my sack and my anus... She can learn everything about me by doing what comes naturally and seeing how I respond. That's how I learned about every single one of the areas on her body that elevate her.

 

You're absolutely right. You may not like everything the magazines say a guy likes. But the important thing is that, although her approach may be wrong, her intentions seem nothing but in the right place. Maybe she feels like "naturally" doesn't come naturally for her, hence, she turns to an article. Maybe you can just openly tell her what you like?

 

 

 

 

If you dig it, dig it. If I don't, I won't. If I express disdain about something, don't tell me how to feel about it.

 

And you're totally correct on this too. Let's just forget about what everyone "thinks" is perfectly normal and tells you you should be appreciative of. Just think about you girl.....If she digs it, she's should be able to dig it. If she wants to get loose and enjoy her man, she should be able to.

 

It seems to me that you two have two different styles and the most important thing is to have a talk so that you can both come to some sort of compromise or understanding. This is just my opninion thought. Good luck!

[Dannysgirl]

I kicked Kennedy,

 

How old are you first of all? I must say I find your posts quite hypocrititical in more than one way. You say that we have no right to judge you but are you not judging your girlfriend? Were you not looking for the rest of us to judge her when you posted this? There's no point getting sniffy with people now because you don't like their opnions on this, you asked!

 

You clearly have a very different approach to sex than your girlfriend does. Having different styles doesn't mean the other person is wrong and it doesn't make your girlfriends approach childish and immature either. How would you like it if your girlfriend posted here saying 'my boyfriend is such a dead fish in bed, he won't even talk dirty to me.'

Reality check: Sex is not classy, neither is it 'mature' there is no such thing as sophisticated sex unless you've been reading too many mills and boon novels.

 

If your girlfriend is turning you off so much with her language during oral sex imagine what she's going to be like when you actually have sex. If you can't handle 'I'm going to come baby' then I doubt you'll be able to handle anything more colourful which will almost certainly be said during actual sex.

Do not under any circumstances tell her that her behaviour is immature and childish, it is NOT. Your girlfriend's behaviour is perfectly normal and she shouldn't be made to feel awkward embarrassed and self conscious just because you don't like it. It may also prevent her from having normal healthy sexual relationships in future.

If it really bothers you that much (is it really that much of a big deal? does it really matter - its only sex afterall!) just end it and let her be with someone who doesn't mind that and might even get into it a bit with her and you find yourself somebody a little more like yourself.

[Shadows Light]

I have to agree with Dannys Girl...

 

Your GF sounds like a catch. Can't fault her for getting into it... it might not be your thing... but its certainly not childish. Is it childish or are you just embarrassed..?????

 

And LOL... if it bothers you now... when you start having intercourse... lol... well, look out...

 

And you know.. the fact that she might have picked up a few tricks from magazines bothers you??? ohhh come on... the tricks she picked up turned you on...and yet now your upset because she didn't fumble around and figure it out for herself. You're a very lucky man to have a girl want to learn what turns a guy on... its not like you guys come with directions or anything.... and its not like we take a course in HS on how to give great HEAD.

 

Give her some respect and quietly walk away...if she's not compatible with what your needs are in bed. She sounds like a treasure... if she's not for you.. throw it back into the ocean... unspoiled.... don't ruin and scar her for life that something is wrong with her.

 

BTW.... I happen to like being talked dirty to in bed... its a turn on... and I AM A LADY... lol.. but not in bed.