The lack of love in my life is tearing up my soul

[ShySoul]

Caldus,

 

Wise words yourself, as usual. I was still writing my post when you posted yours, or else I would have agreed with you. Combining both our methods will do wonders.

 

I also agree that you have to be in congruence in what you say/think/do. It's easy to say you are confident but if your walking around staring at the ground with a frown on, thats not confidence. It's easy to say hi to a girl, but if your hi is mumbled and your not looking at her, it doesn't have the same affect.

 

I may be the exception here, but I have found plenty of friends staying in online. And I met one girl who is pretty much a stay indoors, not big on going out person, like myself. My brother doesn't like to go out much and found his girlfriend online playing an rpg. And another found just met a girl he is crazy about, and shes crazy about him, online. So, while going out and doing things is good for you, you can also meet people online and form friendships. Eventually you will need to meet in person, but don't think that staying in is that horrible.

[Caldus]

Staying in is fine too if that's where most of your hobbies lie I guess. I'm not big on going to those stupid hip hop clubs or bars myself but not big on online dating either. I've actually been to like 5 of those in my town. Just not really my kind of scene. I'd rather do something more worthwhile. So I go to the gym, pool, library, maybe random stores I like throughout the city, check out places downtown (haven't done this yet but may try out some museums as those are neat places to go to), or just a lot different places really. Just not some club full of drunks and cokeheads. Besides, how can you start a conversation with someone at those places? You could be totally random about it but it would just be dumb. And plus it's noisy as hell there. Can barely hear what one girl says to you.

 

Now ... about online dating and online games ... I actually think it's a valid place to meet singles and such because you can find someone that seems more appealing to you because of what interests they have and what kind of stuff they write in their profile. But one problem ... people can be deceptive with that stuff. Or partially deceptive so that when you meet them some things about them were true while others were not. But most people aren't open from the start anyway so I really can't see how online dating would be a bad venue for meeting singles. I personally don't do it but that's just me.

 

Either way ... good luck to all of you guys ... I just finished that week one exercise I suggested to Kyo and already feeling like I could approach women and start a conversation now. So I'll report back after week two is over. 8)

[ShySoul]

Know what you mean Caldus. My first and hopefully last experience at a clubwas full of women I could tell I wouldn't get along with and was so noisy I couldn't hear myself think. No way an ideal place to meet someone. And bars were almost as bad, at least there it wasn't as loud.

 

Museums are a good idea. Fun, interesting, and educational.

 

I don't like the idea of going online to specifically look for someone, ala dating sites. But I think its great for meeting people in general. And for someone who is shy, it is a great first step. As long as you don't hide between the computer screen forever and take your friendship beyond the cyber world.

[Süsser Tod]

My friend that all the girls think is really hot had a girl come up to him and said "i noticed that your really hot".YA how easy is that to get a girl or start off a conversation.

Exactly! How many girls say, "Hi, I noticed that you are really confident!" Excellent conversation starter.

 

 

 

 

I laugh when I remember this...

 

 

 

 

 

I had this boss, a typical Jewish guy, blonde, blue eyes, white skin, very thin and very short! He was like 5 feet tall, maybe 5 feet 5 inches.

 

 

He had nothing special in his looks, except for...

 

 

He had an overwhelming personality! The little guy would be noticed everytime he entered a room, he could sell ice to a skimo, and sell it expensive!

 

 

Then I met his son. Basically they looked the same, just that the kid looked a lot younger, and had a rich kid attitude, with 0 personality. The guy went completely unnoticed!

 

 

Looks are subjective, and there is a lot of truth in this "people will look in you what you want them to look". My boss had such kind of personality and presense that he could have any, and I mean, any gal out there. It was amazing!

 

While his kid, "blessed" with the same physical attributes couldn't catch a cold...

[Süsser Tod]

Kyo: I've already posted this, but maybe you missed it. Loneliness is not your problem, it is just the symptom of your real problem, that is manifesting itself as loneliness.

 

I've been in your shoes. Being 23 and never had a GF, not even a kiss. Then I had a GF, guess what? I still felt lonely and empty!

 

Thats when I had to face it, I have a lot of issues, that are causing me to stay away from people and potential mates. Even when I had someone by myside I still felt lonely, why?

 

Answers to the mistery of life are exactly what I don't have, so don't ask them to me.

 

But I can tell you something. I met that gal when I felt like never meeting another girl, after I had been betrayed and awfully hurted by another female. I was so focused on healing myself and doing my thing that I didn't noticed how it happened, until it was too late and I was in the relationship.

 

 

Another interesting posibility. You are so convinced that you are not worthy of having a relationship, or that every single female wants to stay away from you, that you are causign them to stay away from you.

 

 

We are the makers of our own destiny. Yes, isht happens, but it is up to us to turn things for ourselves.

[Shinobie]

There has never been one time in my life where i have seen a guy get a girl with confidence being ugly.Now with being hot or somewhat attractive i see how confidence would matter.With myself being ugly i have not had any interest in me from any girl.Ive noticed girls at work being mean or stand offish.Even after i do things like saying hello,busing their tables,holding doors open for them,and or doing things they ask for you.They still have no interest to talk to you or anything.OLder waitresses that work there like to talk and stuff and they are really nice.But i see nothing in younger girls but disgust with me.All younger girls are good for is calling me ugly....being mean to me and toying with me in like high school and middle school.Im getting kind of fed up with younger girls i guess ill have to wait like 10-15 years for a gf but i polly wont even get one then so o well.

[ShySoul]

There has never been one time in my life where i have seen a guy get a girl with confidence being ugly.Now with being hot or somewhat attractive i see how confidence would matter

 

Tell me what ugly is. You may have thought the guy was ugly, but clearly if he got a girl then the girl didn't think of him as ugly. And if he had confidence then he didn't think of himself as ugly. It's all subjective opinion so no one is every truly ugly to begin with.

 

Want to make a wager on your theory? We can exchange pics to see if we think the other is ugly. We then promise to be confident, not act or appear but actually BE CONFIDENT. And we see if one of us gets a girl. Deal?

[Shinobie]

that wager would be a waste of time iono.Cause the way i feel i will get up to where kyro is and still not have a girl.Girls r just so distant to me and i dont understand them most of them r mean to me its pointless.I dont have one ounce of confidence in me iono what it is im so far from it.

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

So what is confidence really. I personally think it is overrated. How can you tell the difference between a guy with confidence and a guy without it. Is it a certain type of walk? A more outgoing personality? That can't be because shy good looking guys get the girls. What is it about confidence that makes one unattractive guy stand out from another? Unattractive meaning not nessesarily ugly, but pales in comparison to the hot guy, meaning his chances vs. Hot Guy are slim to none at best.

[ShySoul]

Confidence is removing the thought "I'm ugly" or "I'll never have a girl" from your mind. Confidnece is turning "I'm lonely" into "I'm a great person, if they don't want to spend time with me then forget them." It's not needing a girl in order to know you are a good person. It has nothing to do with looks, a walk, what you say. It's something that comes from within.

 

How we are on the outside is a reflection of how we are on the inside. Think about it, if we are sad then we frown and cry. If we feel good about something, we smile. If on the inside you feel miserable, that is going to reflect on the outside and you will give off a vibe of being negative. That's the only thing stopping you, it has nothing to do with appearance. No on is ugly, only attitudes can be ugly. If you have an ugly attitude then it will shine through as well.

 

Also, don't compare your chances to anyone, from the average joe to the so called hot guy to people who are as depressed as you. You are not in competition with them. This isn't about who can get more dates. This isn't even about if you can get dates. This all revolves around how you feel about yourself. Take care of that and the rest will fall into place. I'm telling you, I got zero attention from girls for 22 years. Whenever I allowed myself to feel bad about it or think of myself as ugly or unattractive or a geek, thats when things were worse. But when I told myself it didn't matter and I was proud to just be me, then I was happy. And what do you know, eventually that feeling attracted a girl. And then another girl. Now, I can't keep all the women striaght.

 

Shinobie, the real reason you don't want to make the wager is because you know you are not ugly and if I saw a picture then I would know that. You do have confidence, and its ready to burst out of you at any second. Stop holding it back, let it flow.

[Caldus]

Everyone has the ability to become confident.

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

Confidence is removing the thought "I'm ugly" or "I'll never have a girl" from your mind. Confidnece is turning "I'm lonely" into "I'm a great person, if they don't want to spend time with me then forget them." It's not needing a girl in order to know you are a good person. It has nothing to do with looks, a walk, what you say. It's something that comes from within.

I've done that to no success. Believe me, it just turned me from an ugly guy with no confidence into an ugly guy who feels good about himself. I can put on my top hat, twirl my cane, and waltz down the street, all the while feeling good about myself and it will be no different than if I had my head slouched, hands in my pockets, damning the world to no end. Sure, the guy who slouches will be shunned, but the guy with the top hat won't do much better. A female friend of mine told me that there was this guy in a club, and he had all the confidence in the world, approaching women and asking them to dance. She said he was nice in his approach, just letting loose and having fun, but he was not attractive. Confident, but not attractive. Unfortunately, he struck out more than Jason Giambi because he was not attractive. She wound up dancing with him because she felt sorry for him.

 

Perhaps confidence can enhance some guy's looks, but not mine. If I'm not attractive, nothing, absolutely nothing that I do will make a difference. You can shave a gorilla, give him a makeover and dress him in Armani suits but guess what, he's still a gorilla.

 

How we are on the outside is a reflection of how we are on the inside. Think about it, if we are sad then we frown and cry. If we feel good about something, we smile. If on the inside you feel miserable, that is going to reflect on the outside and you will give off a vibe of being negative. That's the only thing stopping you, it has nothing to do with appearance. No on is ugly, only attitudes can be ugly. If you have an ugly attitude then it will shine through as well.

But does attitude and confidence ooze out of our pores and have the same effect as "hotness" or "studliness"? I smile all the time. I've never given off that vibe. I've been called the Sad Clown who, behind closed doors, cries his eyes out but puts on a good show when in public. I never let a woman see my true self feelings, and I hide it very well. Even on days when I have confidence, those few days, I get the same results.

 

Also, don't compare your chances to anyone, from the average joe to the so called hot guy to people who are as depressed as you. You are not in competition with them. This isn't about who can get more dates. This isn't even about if you can get dates. This all revolves around how you feel about yourself. Take care of that and the rest will fall into place. I'm telling you, I got zero attention from girls for 22 years. Whenever I allowed myself to feel bad about it or think of myself as ugly or unattractive or a geek, thats when things were worse. But when I told myself it didn't matter and I was proud to just be me, then I was happy. And what do you know, eventually that feeling attracted a girl. And then another girl. Now, I can't keep all the women striaght.

But I guarentee that you are a handsome fellow because you have the women to prove it. I've done what you did to no avail. Guys tell me all the time that with my sense of humor I should get any girl... but I haven't heard a girl tell me that.

 

Unfortunately this is about getting dates, because it's the root of our depression. I've had financial success, and I felt good for about five minutes because no one was there to share it with me. I've won tournaments and junk and had the same 5-minute high followed by the recurring lonliness that lasts for an eternity. Give me another soul to share it with and I will feel good about myself.

 

If you combine ugliness (hate that word but I have to use it) and confidence, can someone be more desirable? Women love confidence, I get that, but if we are not attractive, it doesn't work for us. I hate spinach, but I love cinnamon. If I sprinkle cinnamon over spinach, all I have is nasty tasting spinach with cinnamon sprinkled over it. The cinnamon won't make me like spinach. But sprinkle that cinnamon over apples, which I love, then I'm in heaven. I won't settle for eating spinach with cinnamon if I know I can have apples with cinnamon. I think the same goes for men. Would women want an unattrative guy with this difference-making confidence when she knows she can have an attactive guy with confidence? Not from what I've seen. Same goes for us guys too, we're no different unfortunately.

 

I do get what you are saying, but it doesn't work for me. It's a shame the less attractive guys have to go through this difficult 12-Step Program of Confidence in order to stand a chance in this competitive world of dating against the hot guys.

[Caldus]

Kyo, I don't know what you're talking about. I see all kinds of guys with attractive girls ... beautiful, mediocre, ugly, etc. This is from my personal experience at least. You can say that you were going around looking confident and still not getting women, but how long did you really go around doing that? For a day? Even for confident men it takes time to find someone. Trust me. It's just the way it is. So might as well apply this 'fake confidence' for a long time. Over time you really will become confident once you start meeting more women and getting over shyness with the 'fake confidence'. Although it isn't as fake as you may think because over time you will develop real confidence so you won't have to worry about putting on some kind of mask. It will just become natural.

 

And quit it about the 'I'm ugly' statements. I won't believe you until you post a pic on here or show it to me or someone else privately. So until then, let's not blame everything on looks. Just for a while. OK? Yes, I know you've had no women, but it really really could be a reason other than looks. I really think it's just that you're shy and thereforeeee don't approach women. If you never approach women, then of course you will never get any women. Can't blame it on something until you actually go out and try more. I don't know what else to tell you. Did you read my comments earlier about how to get over shyness? I took my own advice and did that for the last two weeks and already feel like I could approach just about any girl if given the opportunity and right circumstances. I'm serious. It makes you feel good even if you don't have any women. After approaching about 5 girls you will already feel a lot better about it.

[ShySoul]

And quit it about the 'I'm ugly' statements. I won't believe you until you post a pic on here or show it to me or someone else privately

 

That will solve it right there. I was going to suggest that, why not post a pic and see what women have to say? And don't give me this, "oh there lying" stuff, I'm sure the girls on here would be honest. I'll even post my pic to and show you that I'm not the handsome guy you might be thinking. I'm skinny, short, glasses, I don't dress like a GQ model. Girls don't compliment my appearance beyond "cute." I'm sure you'll get at least that. And if that can work for me, you should be able to attract plenty of girls. So post a pic, otherwise, why should any of us believe that you are ugly? Come on, it's a challenge.

 

But I guarentee that you are a handsome fellow because you have the women to prove it. I've done what you did to no avail. Guys tell me all the time that with my sense of humor I should get any girl... but I haven't heard a girl tell me that.

 

I know I've seen girls compliment you in the past on here. And I'm certain that some girl at some point has said that your nice or that you or funny. As for me, many of these girls that have been attracted to me I met online. They started to like me before I ever showed them a picture. So my appearance had nothing to do with it. It was all about what I said and who I was. They compliment me on how nice and smart I am. That, combined with my goofy humor that keeps them smiling and entertained, is what draws them to me. And that also works offline to. You have all those qualites, so you shouldn't have a problem. The only difference is whereas I say how I look has no bearing on who I am and don't think about it, you are consumed with the notion that looks are everything and allow your lack of confidence in your looks govern how you act. In thinking that you are ugly, you act like you are ugly which works against all your strong points.

 

Unfortunately this is about getting dates, because it's the root of our depression. ...Give me another soul to share it with and I will feel good about myself.

 

Dates are not the root of the depression, it is the most obvious symptom. You are putting pressure on yourself by thinking that the only way for you to be happy or feel good about yourself is to be with another person. Yes, I don't want to always be alone either. But I have learned that you have to be happy with yourself and you alone first, before you can fill that void of having someone else.

 

I hate spinach, but I love cinnamon. If I sprinkle cinnamon over spinach, all I have is nasty tasting spinach with cinnamon sprinkled over it. The cinnamon won't make me like spinach. But sprinkle that cinnamon over apples, which I love, then I'm in heaven

 

Well, someone must like spinach or else they wouldn't keep making it. Maybe your an acquired taste and when you find that person who sees how special you are it will be a match made in heaven. Your not some yucky vegetable, you are a delicacy.

[smallworld]

Perhaps confidence can enhance some guy's looks, but not mine. If I'm not attractive, nothing, absolutely nothing that I do will make a difference. You can shave a gorilla, give him a makeover and dress him in Armani suits but guess what, he's still a gorilla.

 

You know what's sad Kyo? That you're focused on what you're not vs. what you are. When you look on an attractive woman, what draws you to her? What's she's "not" or the woman she already "is?" (Her looks, personality, confidence, talents, etc.)

 

Have you ever been drawn to someone because of their personality or the way they think? It's not that they aren't attractive to you physically, but it's that who they are emotionally and spiritually is so amazing that it's beyond anything you've ever dreamed? Well if you can feel that way, then so can women!

 

I won't lie to you. There are women who prefer confident, good looking guys. Others of us (because of our formative life experiences) are drawn to men who have amazing inner qualities. (For example: I was drawn to my husband in college because he's the guy who always remembered everyone's birthdays with a card etc. while people rarely reciprocated.) I don't think I'm rare among women. I think at some point (late 20's onward), women tend to fall for the guys who touch our hearts in ways that no one else can and who makes us feel desired. These two qualities have nothing to do with a man's appearance.

 

P.S. May I see the gorilla? I think I can help him out. REALLY.

[Caldus]

Perhaps confidence can enhance some guy's looks, but not mine. If I'm not attractive, nothing, absolutely nothing that I do will make a difference. You can shave a gorilla, give him a makeover and dress him in Armani suits but guess what, he's still a gorilla.

 

You know what's sad Kyo? That you're focused on what you're not vs. what you are. When you look on an attractive woman, what draws you to her? What's she's "not" or the woman she already "is?" (Her looks, personality, confidence, talents, etc.)

 

Have you ever been drawn to someone because of their personality or the way they think? It's not that they aren't attractive to you physically, but it's that who they are emotionally and spiritually is so amazing that it's beyond anything you've ever dreamed? Well if you can feel that way, then so can women!

 

I won't lie to you. There are women who prefer confident, good looking guys. Others of us (because of our formative life experiences) are drawn to men who have amazing inner qualities. (For example: I was drawn to my husband in college because he's the guy who always remembered everyone's birthdays with a card etc. while people rarely reciprocated.) I don't think I'm rare among women. I think at some point (late 20's onward), women tend to fall for the guys who touch our hearts in ways that no one else can and who makes us feel desired. These two qualities have nothing to do with a man's appearance.

 

P.S. May I see the gorilla? I think I can help him out. REALLY.

 

What's sad is that he continues to advocate his "ugliness" despite the multitude of posts others and I have provided against this idea of him being ugly. It's like he is steadfast to the belief that he is ugly. If only he would see the light and that there are other reasons behind not attracting people. I've given him enough advice and tips. All I can hope for is that he would help himself in some way.

[ShySoul]

Kyo,

 

You've got a women here offering to help. And believe me, this women nows what she is talking about. Take her up on her offer, if your not going to believe us guys maybe you'll believe a women. Who knows, maybe what you need is a womens perspective to boost up that confidence and show you are not ugly.

[smallworld]

What's sad is that he continues to advocate his "ugliness" despite the multitude of posts others and I have provided against this idea of him being ugly. It's like he is steadfast to the belief that he is ugly. If only he would see the light and that there are other reasons behind not attracting people. I've given him enough advice and tips. All I can hope for is that he would help himself in some way.

Caldus, you have a good heart as well as mind. But we both know people don't change until they're ready to. I don't blame Kyo for believing as he does. I can understand that it feels "safer" to hide behind 'ugliness as a reason' than it is to put oneself out there and possibly risk seeing one's worst fears come true. I can say all that, because I'm not pretty and I've had to deal with those fears of being rejected/unloved my entire life.

 

It takes a lot to change one's life paradigm. I'm sure Kyo thinks we're saying all these things out of some false sense of "do gooding," but hopefully one of these days he'll see enough of us benefitting from our shift in thinking (focusing on our strengths to attract others vs. what we think we're "not"), that he'll start believing too.

 

Kyo, I apologize if I'm embarrassed you in anyway. I've read many of your posts in passing and it's obvious to me that you're a very intelligent, compassionate, funny guy. If you ever feel like talking, pm me. I promise to trade you a couple of my bad jokes for a couple of your good ones.

 

Shysoul, thanks for your endorsement!

[Caldus]

Caldus, you have a good heart as well as mind. But we both know people don't change until they're ready to. I don't blame Kyo for believing as he does. I can understand that it feels "safer" to hide behind 'ugliness as a reason' than it is to put oneself out there and possibly risk seeing one's worst fears come true. I can say all that, because I'm not pretty and I've had to deal with those fears of being rejected/unloved my entire life.

 

True, but what I've been trying to get at with Kyo is that if he needs to realize his chances will always be close to zero if he doesn't at least start very small with getting rid of shyness (eye contact, etc.). Something is better than nothing in this case.

[smallworld]

his chances will always be close to zero if he doesn't at least start very small.

 

Hmm. That last sentiment seems familiar. I agree with you, but not just about Kyo's chances -- everyone's. If you self-eliminate, you'll never know what life has in store for you whether it's romance or career.

 

Better to rip up the old way of thinking, then to rip one one's soul.

[ShySoul]

I've read many of your posts in passing and it's obvious to me that you're a very intelligent, compassionate, funny guy. If you ever feel like talking, pm me. I promise to trade you a couple of my bad jokes for a couple of your good ones.

 

Kyo, you just got a girl complimenting and even got a wink to. It's a small thing, but its something to build on.

 

If you self-eliminate, you'll never know what life has in store for you whether it's romance or career.

 

Wise words. Seems a lot of people can learn from that lesson.

[Alabama]

I'm in the same boat. I've had a lot of oppurtunities to find love, but have failed horribly. Part of it was due to my shyness, and also no one seems to have been interested in me. Yet I've learned to move on and realize that I'm still pretty young and love can happen anytime. Even if it never does, at least I was able to live in this world and experience many things. I'm sure you'll find it. Your not the only person who hasn't. Good luck!

[smallworld]

Hey Alabama, I had no idea you were shy too! I guess all the best people are. 8)

 

While I was at the library today, I came accross an interesting book: What Women Want by Laurence Roy Stains and Stefan Bechtel © 2002

 

Since you're guys, I doubt any of you will read it. But I did a quick run through and this book surveying 2,000 women and what they find attractive in men is 'spot on' as far as I'm concerned. (Btw "Hot looking" guy doesn't even make it on the list!)

[Alabama]

That's a good read. I definetly think I'll have to pick that book up. It could be helpful...

[smallworld]

That's a good read. I definetly think I'll have to pick that book up. It could be helpful...

 

Thanks Alabama. It's probably in your library too.

 

I received a PM from someone today regarding the book. Here's my response to his post...

Hi, I'm 21, single, male in a situation very similar to that of MovieGuy. (Actually even he couldn't have described MY situation better as my speech tends to be more constipated. But what goes on in my mind is the same as his). Well I was looking at the site and the story about the ski-lift accident. Pardon me, but that's is SO NOT TRUE. How that husband behaved is NOT indicative of men, and to write a book on some *beep* and claim that all men are like that is extremely offensive.

 

Before I address your points, I'd like to say that the reason I recommended the book was because it listed a bunch of personal traits, qualities that attract women to men. The excerpt I linked to unfortunately doesn't list those traits. I wouldn't say this book is necessarily worth buying, but if it's at your local library, I think it's worth skimming through.

 

Ok I NEVER personally said the way the husband treated his wife at the ski-lift accident was indicative of all men. Actually, my husband, my little brother, and most of my friends in real life are shy guys who are the polar opposite of the example listed. I believe the author mentioned this ski-lift story as an EXAMPLE of how some men get it wrong... how SOME men don't see how important it is for a woman to feel connected and cared for by their partners. If the author implied that all men are that way, then I agree with you, that's BS, but I doubt he'd do so as he's a man himself.

 

Most of my friends in college were shy guys (several are in their late 30s now and have never had their first date) so believe me although I'm a girl, I'm not clueless to your situation or pain. I'm sorry if I offended you by posting the link but by the same token I don't believe that simply giving into our fears (of never being attractive or bold enough to attract others) and giving up will ever change things. Perhaps I'm not as articulate as others on the board, but clearly what I advocate -- focusing on one's strengths to attract others -- isn't BS, because it's worked for other shy folks on the board who once also considered themselves to be doomed and hopeless.

 

Think of it this way... You have guy friends right? What drew them to you? Was it all the things you think you're "not" or was it your personality and unique traits that make you, YOU? The same things that draw guys to become friends with you, is what will ultimately draw a woman to you for a relationship.

 

But with one corollary: only if a woman who's looking for those traits can "see" you. If you're self-eliminating yourself from the dating game (out of fear like my 30-something friends) and/or spending all your time alone at home, it's just common sense, that nothing will change.

 

You're 21. That's a particularly hard time because most girls your age are into partying and winning the hearts of "bad boys." They're not at the stage I'm talking about -- late 20s onward -- where women come into a different mindset. At that time we start realizing "bad boys" are a waste of time (incorrigible jerks) and it's the Prince Charmings that we want... the men who make good friends, husbands, and fathers. This is what the book explains in detail.

 

I won't try to give you any more advice because clearly you've already made up your mind about me and this book. But I hope you'll consider the possibility that maybe the beliefs you're holding into out of fear and pain, are costing you a lot more than you think. And that the cost of going down to the library and flipping through a book might actually make the difference between being "stuck" and having possibilities.

 

Warmest regards,

smallworld