I think my husband is going to leave me

[kitty1984]

2 weeks ago my husband told me he was generally sad and flat about absolutely everything, including me, and didn't know if it was because of our relationship he felt like this.

I have experienced depression in the past and know that it's hard to find joy in anything, but he's slung a bit of mud my way since that I am struggling to shake off and carry on with, as well as support him.

We have couples therapy booked to start ina few weeks and he's requested personal counselling though work but this hasn't happened yet.

We had planned to spend Christmas just the 2 of us. All the food is arriving tomorrow and I wish I had cancelled it. I just want to run away and hide and cry. It is all so very sad.

He is not a bad man in the slightest and is the absolute love of my life. I thought he would be the man I would grow old with. Does he just want to leave me and he's struggling with the guilt? I have asked twice if there is someone else and he says no. 

Sorry for the ramble. I wonder if anyone else is here or has been here.

[Kwothe28]

I think its something to unpack on a couples therapy. Its hard to say whether its depression or some other issue. Especially when he is like that about everything, not just about you.

Has there been a fights and about what stuff? And does he has some other issues like job or something like that?

[shouldhavelearned]

Hopefully he sticks around to talk about things.

[Wiseman2]

3 hours ago, kitty1984 said:

2 weeks ago my husband told me he was generally sad and flat about absolutely everything, including me, and didn't know if it was because of our relationship he felt like this.We have couples therapy booked to start ina few weeks and he's requested personal counselling though work but this hasn't happened yet.

Sorry this is happening. What happened 2 weeks ago? How long have you been married? Are there any stressors lately such as finances, health,  or other changes? It's good you're going to marriage therapy to sort things out. 

[kitty1984]

23 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this is happening. What happened 2 weeks ago? How long have you been married? Are there any stressors lately such as finances, health,  or other changes? It's good you're going to marriage therapy to sort things out. 

Married 3 years, together 8. 

This hasn't been our finest year, work / stress / health wise. He told me tonight that he hasn't been happy for 18 months, which I've managed to pin on several big / sad / stressful work events in his life. But I don't want to clutch at straws equally. 

I thought we had such a lovely life and I'm devastated. 

[Andrina]

Can we get a bigger picture of your life? Do you two hang out with other couples or a circle of friends? Do you each hang out with your own friends apart from one another? Do you engage in hobbies together or separately? What is your involvement with extended family? Do you match in major ways such as: sex, money, etc.? Have either of you asked for improvements in certain areas?

While waiting for counseling, perhaps shake up the normal routine and try some activities you two normally don't engage in. I'm sorry for this hard time you're enduring and hope things turn out the way you wish.

[kitty1984]

4 hours ago, Andrina said:

Can we get a bigger picture of your life? Do you two hang out with other couples or a circle of friends? Do you each hang out with your own friends apart from one another? Do you engage in hobbies together or separately? What is your involvement with extended family? Do you match in major ways such as: sex, money, etc.? Have either of you asked for improvements in certain areas?

While waiting for counseling, perhaps shake up the normal routine and try some activities you two normally don't engage in. I'm sorry for this hard time you're enduring and hope things turn out the way you wish.

 

Both! (I thought) we enjoyed each others company immensely. Never an issue with us doing things separately or together. 

He has some quite time consuming hobbies which I have never moaned about, but in his head I was unhappy about the time it took away from us. 

I have shut down and alternate between crying and just a horrible nothing. I wish I could have faith. 

[smackie9]

Mid life crisis? The any way to win, is to have confidence in yourself. It's what attracts.