Cant tell if she is interested in me or not

[rabbitkenhalf]

So I met this girl in April in University, we got assigned to the same project with two other people and met at least once a week until mid of July. 

After a few meetings I started to like her, but didnt pursue anything since she had a boyfriend. Towards the end of June we met and she told me that her boyfriend left her. I didnt instantly make a move on her since I felt like it was wrong and we just stayed friends.

After some time I decided to make a move and asked her if she would like to play table tennis with me. 

She said yes and I told her to let me know when she was free. She didnt respond for two days so I told her we could cancel or postpone it if she wanted to. She responded very quickly that she was busy studying and that its an misunderstanding and we met shortly afterwards. 

Some time later, after exam season was over, I spontaneously asked her if she wanted to get some ice cream with me and she agreed. I think we had a great time and she said that she would love to hang out again.

Its been more than 2 months since and the new semester already started. 

At first I asked her if she was interested in playing table tennis again (she actually said that she would like to play again sometime) but she didnt respond for over a week. 

So I texted her again asking if she was still interested in hanging out, but since the weather got worse that we could do something else.

It tooke her another 2 days to respond but she wrote a very long explanation saying that she was busy with family and personal stuff, and that she was hoping to be free the week after (this was towards the END OF OCTOBER).

Howerver another 2 days later she send me a 2min voice message explaining that the new semester has been very stressfull with classes and project work and a language course, and that she wanted to let me know so that I dont have to wait forever for a response again and that she would let me know once her schedule got less busy.

So I waited for 4 weeks before asking her again how things were looking and asked her to go to the christmas market with me. 

It took  her another 2 days to respond, but she once again wrote a very long explanation how shes been busy with classes, but that the project will be done in december and that we can meet then and also listed a bunch of dates when she would be free.

I told her on which of those days I would be free and told her to choose which fits her schedule best.

It then took her again more than a week to respond but she chose a day. I told her that I am fine with that and that I am looking forward to meeting her.

She said that she is also looking forward to it and that she will let me know once she knows at which time she will be free.

So now I have been waiting again for almost a week to know the time.

The app shows that she never reads my messages instantly, they are always marked as unread, but once she reads them she usually replies quick and her messages show that she put some time and effort into responding. 

She is very focused on her studies and likes to spend time with her family. She once told me that this was normal for her, even with her ex boyfriend which she only met once a week for a few hours. 

So I´ve been stuck trying to figure things out. I genuinely like her and I dont think that she was making things up to avoid meeting up, and I am happy that we (hopefully) will get to meet next week.

Still I dont know what I should do and how I should feel about this.

Do you guys have any ideas what I should say to her or ask her during our next meeting. Should I just shoot my shot and tell her I like her? To be honest though I dont want to since I am so unsure and confused.

[Wiseman2]

11 minutes ago, rabbitkenhalf said:

. Should I just shoot my shot and tell her I like her? To be honest though I dont want to since I am so unsure and confused.

Sorry this is happening. It seems like she likes you as a friend but for whatever reason doesn't want to date or string you along.

Unfortunately she seems to be using the slow fade and "too busy too stressed" approach to discourage you and create distance.

Please step back and if she agrees to hang out fine, but she already knows you're interested so you don't really need to spell that out. 

[Capricorn3]

Honestly, the vibe I get is that this girl is really not interested in a relationship with you.  I mean, you have asked her out what feels like 100 times and she never responds ... until days or weeks later.  That, in my book, doesn't show much enthusiasm at all.

Also, she has just broken up with her boyfriend, and she has made it quite clear to you that she is very focused on her studies. Two good reasons to not want to go out dating etc.

I think you are way more into her than she is into you.  I think it's time you moved on.

[Coily]

It's not looking positive, but i would just ask for a proper date. Nothing super cliche like candle light dinners etc, etc. You asking her for a date is more about just knowing and never wondering "what if."

While I agree with the above, that she is creating distance. Even if she flat out says no, or plays the stressed card; you know not to waste your time and energy on her. She has been occupying headspace that could be better used pursuing a woman who is interested in you.

Asking will set you free after months of wondering.

[rabbitkenhalf]

She did agree to meet up in a couple of days.  

I dont think I will tell her how I feel since I agree with you guys that she already knows and that she most likely has been trying to fade out. Should I just go and have fun and see if she asks me to hangout again in the future and just focus on myself and move on if she doesnt?

Also now that the meeting is getting closer I've been feeling kind of embarassed that I tried so hard to see her again (almost to an extent that I just want to cancel).

[Capricorn3]

2 minutes ago, rabbitkenhalf said:

 Should I just go and have fun and see if she asks me to hangout again in the future and just focus on myself and move on if she doesnt?

Yes, absolutely.

[Kwothe28]

I have a bit different take. Aside of that she really doesnt need weeks to respon and schedule a date, even if she says "Yes" and be with you, would you be happy with somebody who maybe see you once a week? People who are constantly busy, are not fun to be by default. As you will never be a priority. So, what you see from her now, you can expect the same if you date her. Go to the date and have fun. But dont pursue somebody like this if you want serious relationship.

[SherrySher]

University is incredibly busy.

A person barely has time to eat, never mind socializing.

If she has a project she is working on, on top of it, then it makes sense how she has no time.

To me, I feel like she is interested, but her schedule doesn't allow for a relationship right now.

Even if she did want to get into a relationship with you, you still would barely see her.

I think you'd be just as sad and disappointed as you are right now.

Give her your number, tell her to call you when she has time, but sincerely move on and search elsewhere for someone to date.

[smackie9]

Her and her BF broke up because she never made time for him. It's not going to be any different with you. It's not worth it, move on.

[SooSad33]

Yup, I agree.  Sounds like she's way too busy for a real relationship and you're already aware of how she works.  So, fine, meet up with her this next time if you want, but don't expect much, as you know it'll prolly be another month maybe until she can 'hang out' again.

Is maybe best to move on.  Don't expect much from her.