I've been crushing so hard on him

[Sprite_love]

Me and my guy friends have known each other right from middle school and now we're done with highschool. We've keep in touch through texting and often see each other coincidentally. He always open up to me about himself and family but I don't. We do things together online while few of his friends think we're dating. He cares about everything I do, the guy I like or anything personal to me. We've been like that for so long I started crushing on him on our 4th year of knowing. Now, it's the seventh year... I'm still crushing hard. I tried killing the feelings by having other male friends yet nothing was working. We have almost the same interest especially playing mobile games. I don't know but I'm confused if he likes me or not because he's been flirting with me recently. I mean seriously especially using animated stickers. He also start caring too much about the boys I follow according to him but I told him I don't have any guy, never had one till now. Now he's calling me by my name or pet names. He reacts to my flirty hot memes on my posts showing his disapproval for it;(p*ssy memes) 

I'm confused. 

[MissCanuck]

Ask him if he wants to meet for coffee or lunch or something. 

That will tell you what you need to know about whether he's interested in more. 

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, Sprite_love said:

 He reacts to my flirty hot memes on my posts showing his disapproval for it;(p*ssy memes) I'm confused. 

How often do you see each other in person? Are you both away at university now? How old is he? Is he just a gaming buddy? It's confusing because you're texting him and he's not asking you out. 

Try to step back a bit. Are you posting sexual content in the hopes of attracting him? Unfortunately it's not working if he's not asking you out. 

[SooSad33]

You've been friends now for a good while.  IF you cross that line, expect things to sadly affect that, should things not work out between you two. Obviously you've gotten some feelings now - and yeah, it happens often when guy & girl be 'friends', and is why many have said it's never a good idea, but is better to have some true friends of the same sex... or this can happen 😕 .

So, think on this.  is it worth losing him as the friend you have in him? ( if it is too much, maybe back off the constant contacts and let yourself cool off a bit).

 

[Sprite_love]

22 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Try to step back a bit. Are you posting sexual content in the hopes of attracting him? Unfortunately it's not working if he's not asking you out. 

I'm not posting sexual contents to attract him but when I do post some flirty memes, he reacts angrily to it.

[Sprite_love]

3 hours ago, SooSad33 said:

So, think on this.  is it worth losing him as the friend you have in him? ( if it is too much, maybe back off the constant contacts and let yourself cool off a bit).

I've tried that many times. The worst is that he would text back to ask why I haven't text him in a while.

[Sprite_love]

22 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

How often do you see each other in person? Are you both away at university now? How old is he? Is he just a gaming buddy? It's confusing because you're texting him and he's not asking you out. 

We haven't seen each other for sometime now. No, we're planning for our university entry exam. He's 19. Nope, he isn't my only gaming buddy because we've been friends for long. He told me to download the game ff and join him in playing. And yes, he doesn't ask me out but is a bit irritated when I talk about boys with him.

[Sprite_love]

On 11/17/2023 at 7:48 AM, MissCanuck said:

Ask him if he wants to meet for coffee or lunch or something. 

That will tell you what you need to know about whether he's interested in more. 

I wish I could but I'm too shy so no worries.

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, Sprite_love said:

, he doesn't ask me out but is a bit irritated when I talk about boys with him.

It seems like he just wants to be friends. Unfortunately you seem to be hoping he's jealous or trying to make him jealous

But honestly, if he were interested he would ask you out not just criticize your sexual memes. Maybe he thinks it's sleazy to post that stuff and wouldn't date someone who does that.

It's also possible that because you're talking about other guys you're turning him off that way as well. So basically it seems like he's turned off by what you do rather than jealous or interested. 

Instead of taking to him about other boys, why not talk to and start dating other boys rather than wait around for an uninterested guy? 

[Sprite_love]

2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Instead of taking to him about other boys, why not talk to and start dating other boys rather than wait around for an uninterested guy? 

Alright

Thank you very much. I think this is the best advice.

[Andrina]

5 hours ago, Sprite_love said:

but when I do post some flirty memes, he reacts angrily to it.

So why do you allow yourself to be subjected to someone who makes you feel bad by being angry at you. If he were your bf and you're flirting with other men, that would be warranted anger. But you two are not accountable to one another. 

When he's not shy about flirting with you, there'd be absolutely no reason why he wouldn't ask you out if he was really into you.

He knows you have a crush, so it boosts his ego. That's the extent of it.

In your shoes, I wouldn't get invested in anyone online. It's all a fantasy world with people playing games. You'll be starting university soon and will be meeting so many guys your age in person. You can better see the reality of a person in person, and it's much more enjoyable to spend time in 3D with a guy. 

Start having standards and if a guy makes you feel bad, cut him out of your life. It's okay to be shy, but not okay to be a doormat a person can wipe his dirty boots all over.

[Sprite_love]

30 minutes ago, Andrina said:

In your shoes, I wouldn't get invested in anyone online. It's all a fantasy world with people playing games. You'll be starting university soon and will be meeting so many guys your age in person. You can better see the reality of a person in person, and it's much more enjoyable to spend time in 3D with a guy. 

Start having standards and if a guy makes you feel bad, cut him out of your life. It's okay to be shy, but not okay to be a doormat a person can wipe his dirty boots all over.

Thank you for the response, but he doesn't make me feel bad. It's just that he reacts angrily to the flirty stuff I post online because he even said (when did I start posting such stuffs?) Secondly, we're not just game buddies. We've known for almost 7 years since middle school.

[lostandhurt]

It sounds like you hang out in person correct?  This isn't just an online friendship.

 Regrets from not taking a chance suck.  Losing him as a friend is really a non issue because he obviously like likes you so if nothing ever happens between you two and you both date others the friendship would be to awkward to continue. Plus having some guy around you crushed on hard is not good for a new relationship.

 How to move the needle from this stand offish flirting?  Well you want to play it safe but that will not get you anywhere unfortunately.  You need to be brave and ask him a simple question.

 "We have known each other a long time and are so good together why haven't you asked me on a date?"

 I know it seems like a super huge deal to ask that even if you do it in a text but in life the things worth having often require a leap of faith and to be brave.  I promise you no matter the answer it will not be fatal.  If you look at it another way this is a way for you to put a pin in this whole crush thing.  If he answers that he does want to date you but was afraid to ask then great but if he says no thanks then you can move on and kill the crush you have on him so you can meet a date other guys.

 In time you will see this isn't as scary as you imagine.  I have been guilty of talking myself out of asking far to many times and regret each and every one.  Funny thing is when I do ask it is ALWAYS not a big deal no matter the answer and usually a relief to get it out of the way.

 Lost

[Andrina]

10 hours ago, Sprite_love said:

And yes, he doesn't ask me out but is a bit irritated when I talk about boys with him

 

4 hours ago, Sprite_love said:

but he doesn't make me feel bad. It's just that he reacts angrily to the flirty stuff I post online because he even said (when did I start posting such stuffs?)

It's none of his business what you do. It would be his business if you were his gf.

He's also not a true friend, because if he was, he wouldn't be irritated nor angry at these things.

He's had 7 years to ask you out and never has. He's just not that into you. And are you a duck whereas others feelings of irritation and anger roll off your back like oil, or are you giving him a free pass to talk to you like that because you have a crush on him?

I wouldn't waste any more time on someone who doesn't want to date you, but doesn't want anyone else dating you either. He's self-serving.

[Sprite_love]

On 11/18/2023 at 6:43 PM, lostandhurt said:

In time you will see this isn't as scary as you imagine.  I have been guilty of talking myself out of asking far to many times and regret each and every one.  Funny thing is when I do ask it is ALWAYS not a big deal no matter the answer and usually a relief to get it out of the way.

 Lost

Thank you so much 💯