Went from hot to cold. Should I drop it?

[boltnrun]

7 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

Really?  You don't fear getting emotionally involved with the wrong person, someone incompatible?

I do!!  Many people have that fear, it's actually a pretty big one.

I respect you don't though, more power to ya.

Edit:  Playing golf and not wanting to date men with facial hair is a completely different thing, as those things don't involve our emotions and feeling vulnerable.

I have been involved with the wrong person.  A few VERY wrong people.  But I don't "fear" it.  The relationships ended and I realized how much better off I was. And I know that if someone shows me they're incompatible with me I have all the power in the world to accept we're incompatible, wish them well and walk away.

And that's not to say I didn't have a hard time after a couple of breakups.  But again, I don't "fear" incompatibility.

As for the other examples, I was just trying to illustrate that not wanting something isn't the same as "fearing" it.

[Kwothe28]

I also think its a pretty big fear of some people. For example, I know many rich people who are simply afraid the other side would just use them for money. That they will pretend to like them just to take their money away. Hence why they mostly date other people with money. 

Anyway, I do understand OP. He knows that this isnt something he should pursue as the other side interest just wasnt there. But he really likes the woman in question. So, he is having a hard time to let go. Its not just his issue. Lots of posters come in with having that issue as well. Whether they just like somebody or are involved with somebody where they are incompatible or just isnt going well. It takes time to let go something you thought it was a really good thing. 

[rainbowsandroses]

34 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

I think its a pretty big fear of some people. For example, I know many rich people who are simply afraid the other side would just use them for money. That they will pretend to like them just to take their money away. Hence why they mostly date other people with money. 

Agree.  I think to deny that such fears and anxieties exist within some people (certainly not all) and play a role in our decision making process really misses the mark.  

This forum probably wouldn't exist if people weren't so fearful.  Therapists would go out of business.  

Human emotions, relations, vulnerability, being truly "seen" by another person in an emotionally intimate way may be one of the "scariest" things one could ever experience. 

Again for some people depending on their natures and life experiences. Entire books have been devoted to the topic.  

Heck I know healthy people and couples who have experienced it.  You work through it if you care enough.

Not everyone does and good for them, truly.   Not even saying @jul-elsdoes, I have an opinion but I dont know him so can't say. 

But many people do for any number of reasons, it's nothing to feel shame about.