She told me "We have to talk"

[lays]

Posted last week. Being together for three years, live separated. Overall we were good although we have some incidentes.

Last days thr text have been extracold like if I was a friend. Yesterday I ask her how she was feeling. She told me a bit overwhelmed.

I told her I would call her but she told me she prefer to meet today and talk a bit.

So now, I have not sleep at all. I will meet her at 1900 and the waiting is killing me.

What should I expect?how can I get ready?

I know I will get nervouse and say whatever I feel will keep us together. But I do not want that

[Coily]

You could allow yourself to think the worst, but that does not help you figure out what the best solution is for you.

Some people like to have worst case conversations in their heads before hand, some people just want to get blindsided by what happens. For you, I think you need to focus on what makes you less stressed in this situation.

Also have in the back of your head what you would like to do for yourself afterwards. Go for a walk, have a pint, call up a friend to chat with or visit. Come up with some options so you don't have whatever the outcome is eat away at you.

As DaterSA said, be methodical with your words and actions.

[lays]

7 hours ago, DaterSA said:

My other piece of advice is to not be rash and keep a solid hold of your own emotions. Being overly emotive could result in a very difficult situation.

Well the worst case scenario came true. She told me she has been having doubts for some time(a couple of months).

She asked me for a break. I was devastated. I got angry at things she told me("I do not want to lose you") but I kept my cold. I tried to limit the break but I realize it was meaningless. 

She wanted to break up but was not brave enough. I agrree to the break although I know is not good for me.

 

I am devasted. I am broken. I am angry

[Wiseman2]

21 minutes ago, lays said:

She asked me for a break. I was devastated. I got angry at things she told me

Sorry this happened. Try to step back and take a deep breath. At least you have an answer instead of this limbo and wondering.

Don't accept the friend zone. Delete and block her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. 

You'll kick yourself when she starts posting pics of new guys if you don't make a clean break and sever everything. 

[Coily]

Take some tome to process this, and then decide if you want the "break" drama of being on pins and needles. Or If you want to end things. (The break up is best considering how she's treating you.) When you make your decision, just give her a phone call and be done. She has basically shown you the door, no need to do more than walk out an breathe the fresh air.

[Morello]

She did you a favour, although right now, you will not see it that way. The last thing you want is to be in a relationship with someone who is wishy-washy about you or the relationship. 

I'd strongly recommend you let her know you gave it some extra thought and decided to part ways for good, and hence, you are going to steps in order to start healing. You can tell her that if she change her mind, she can contact and you and you take it from there but otherwise, it's good riddance. Don't look back. 

If you stay in this "break" situation, it will only bring you more anxiety and confusion. If you part ways now (instead of accepting this unrealistic idea of a break), at least you might regain some self-respect, which will do you wonders in terms of moving on and healing. Trust me, you'll feel like absolute crap if you accept this break only to learn in a few weeks that the break is actually a break up, which I'm afraid is eventually what is going to happen. She's just not brave enough to break up directly. 

[smackie9]

it is what it is...you got the $%^ty end of the breakup stick. Have to view this differently...would you rather be with someone that is no longer into you? Of course not. Do people fall out of love? Of course they do. Put yourself in her shoes.....if you lost feelings, wouldn't you want to end things? Of course you would. Would you have a difficult time breakup up with someone? Most likely. This was truly difficult for her that's why she took too long. People can't help it if that don't have feelings anymore...it just happens. It's just part of life. Don't be angry, just be disappointed. You may not understand it yet, but as time goes on, it will make sense why things happen the way they did. 

[Cherylyn]

Feel relieved that she broke up with you.  She's actually allowing you to move on with your life.  Change the way you think and be grateful and thankful to be given this "opportunity" so you can move on with your life.  Take good care of yourself.  Work on yourself.  Time will heal.  Patience is key.  (And faith and prayers if you are so inclined.  🙏 )