How to let her go?

[Fulh4m]

I fell in love with a married friend. It's not about wanting to have sex with her. I love her as a person. We never really flirted, but she probably knows I like her (women seem to have a sixth sense for that).

She's not happy with her husband, but I'm against affairs and I'd never want her to cheat on him or leave him for me. I'm not the kind of guy who likes to ruin marriages.

The fact that my feelings are unrequited is making me depressed and lately I haven't been able to sleep much because of that. I thought a lot about what to do, and realized the best thing would be to let her go.

My question is: instead of simply disappearing with no explanation, would it be appropriate to be honest and explain that I can't be her friend anymore because I developed feelings for her and I feel like this is wrong for both of us?

I know it's probably an *** move, but so is cutting a friend off without telling why.

So, what should I do?

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Fulh4m said:

 instead of simply disappearing with no explanation, would it be appropriate to be honest and explain that I can't be her friend anymore because I developed feelings for her 

Sorry this is happening. It would be best to distance yourself. You don't need to tell her you have a crush, just be busy a lot more. 

In the meantime please see a physician for an evaluation of your physical and mental health. Get some tests done. Discuss the insomnia, depression and anxiety. Asking for a referral to a qualified therapist for ongoing support.

Get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps. Start talking to and meeting single available women. 

Join some groups and clubs, volunteer, get involved in sports and fitness, take some classes and courses . Broaden your social horizons and make some friends and enjoy yourself by keeping busy. 

[Kwothe28]

3 hours ago, Fulh4m said:

My question is: instead of simply disappearing with no explanation, would it be appropriate to be honest and explain that I can't be her friend anymore because I developed feelings for her and I feel like this is wrong for both of us?

 

I think its an OK move. Its better to explain then for her best friend to just dissapear. Then you can safely move away from whole situation. And after you get over your crush maybe find somebody who is single for yourself.

[SooSad33]

This is why it's always of best interest to have friends of the same sex.  Sadly, many people get intertwined and feelings, urges etc can develop.

Yes, for your own well being, distant yourself from all of this now.

I don't really have an close 'guy' friends, especially ex's, as they'd be more challenging, as we were once a thing.  So, for me it's either all or nothing.

So, as you came to learn it's damaging 😕 , so do as you must. She has some gal friends I'm sure and you should have some guy friends.  No need to continue anything really, when it comes to her, right?

In time, you'll get over this and yeah, go onto a dating site & start touring there.. or get involved with a 'local singles grp' on FB or something, if you're looking to date.

 

[Cherylyn]

You don't have to explain anything.  Simply part ways peacefully.  Text her all the best and sign off.  Then block and delete everywhere permanently.  Move on for real. 🫤

[shouldhavelearned]

They would understand hopefully and if not mention that you had to for personal reasons.