My GF wants to break up with me, I need help.

[Patrick100]

Hi, i am the dumpee here, i was reading your forum and I thought I would type my side of the story: 

My GF wants to break up with me for not making enough plans and misunderstanding her (I do plan dates and places to go), I accept that I don’t usually make plans but I do pay for when she makes them. I explained to her that I love her plans and dates and that my job is super exhausting (I work in a warehouse, i walk over 19k steps daily and that job just drains my body and soul. 
those are the only two reasons, she also says that we don’t have the same sense of humor, i told her we don’t have to, that people is different and we can create something new, we laugh and talk about any topic like normal and we get along very well, we do laugh, she says I don’t get her sense of humor, I am Seinfeld and she is The office kinda humor. We all know that being compatible and having a great chemistry are two different things; We never argued in all our 1 year and half that we’ve been dating, I always show her affection, hugs and kisses and I always open the doors for her, we literally never had a fight or big argument, just disagreements about politics and mundane stuff, we like the same tv shows, we almost like the same music, yet she claims we are not compatible, I am 5 years older than her (she is 29) and I keep telling her that we are our own minds, that we get along very well (I feel really sad right now just typing about it), sex is great although I know at the end of the day it doesn’t matter…we always smile and get along very well and love each other and we are always looking for each other, but until recently she reconciled with a friend whom I think keep telling her bad advice, her friend has been single for 7 years, she is depressed and she takes medicine for that as well, I think she is a bad influence, I can even tell you that she stopped saying I LOVE YOU to me during the time she returned to be friends with that girl (no, it’s not a guy and the girl likes guys so it’s nothing like that if you know what I mean, I know this because my gf got very upset when I didn’t ask her about her day with her friend, I was honestly waiting for her to tell me, they are friends from school and ever my gf’s sister used to hang out with this friend), I think she is a very bad influence and I told her that last night.
so what I am doing is asking for a second chance, I told her that I will make more plans like going to the gym together. She wants space to think but I do believe she doesn’t want to hurt me if she tells me is over. Last night we talked about a second chance, she walked away into the room when I told her that this morning I packed her stuff but i and told her that I put em back in its place before she came over, I am soo confused about this because she walked away and started looking for her stuff, she cried a lot and I felt like the one breaking up. I am soo confused about this behavior, is it because she wants to give me another chance and doesn’t want to at the same time? Is she confused? What’s the reason? 
i told her that maybe she found another guy and she said no, she says that comparability, sense of humor and minor things like not planning enough are the reasons. I love her a lot and it was not my intention to be seen as not caring, I care about her, I am her shoulder when she is upset (her mom died of cancer 3 years ago and she can’t recover), i never starts arguments (as mentioned we never argue and I’m not even exaggerating), I stick to my reason, her friend, I am aware of my mistakes but I do want another chance, what can I do to change and please help me understand her behavior? She keeps texting me and inviting me to Disney and our regular hikes, she had a camping trip today and she told me she was going, why is she telling me this things if she wants to break up with me (or in the process of it), she haven’t really said “I want to break up with you”, she just asked me these weird questions last night like if we are about to break up and two weeks prior we talked about the issues previously typed (compatibility, not making plans) and tonight she asked me what I thought about our conversation, I told her I was going to change but she said she doesn’t see that if it keeps happening our relationship won’t last for a long term, yet as I’m saying she still text me good morning. Maybe her friend is confusing her, her friend is known for dating guys and dump them like candy and even my gf says she is crazy. So also my girlfriend says that what we lack she will try to find on her friends like the sense of humor that we don’t share, we are compatible in some things and as I mentioned we laugh and get a long very well as just another healthy relationship, as I said I accept that I fell off the track, like not planning dates but I told her that she needs to let me make plans, everytime she makes plans ahead our weekend is already busy and I just postpone my dating plans for both, I love her with all my heart, she is my soulmate, maybe my job is killing me and she is suffering along. 
If you have any question you can ask me, I want another chance and I need help.

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, Patrick100 said:

  Last night we talked about a second chance, she walked away into the room when I told her that this morning I packed her stuff 

Sorry this is happening. Unfortunately there does seem to be a lot of incompatibilities and lack of communication and conflict resolution. For example "packing her stuff". What was that about?

The problem is the relationship not her friends. Try to step back and let the dust settle. Perhaps you're a bit burned out from work? She seems to believe you're not as involved or interested as she would like. 

 

[Patrick100]

9 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this is happening. Unfortunately there does seem to be a lot of incompatibilities and lack of communication and conflict resolution. For example "packing her stuff". What was that about?

The problem is the relationship not her friends. Try to step back and let the dust settle. Perhaps you're a bit burned out from work? She seems to believe you're not as involved or interested as she would like. 

 

I thought she was going to break up with me and I told her, I am mature enough to accept her any decision I was just getting prepared for the inevitable but the she texted me “let’s watch big brother I’ll come over”… that’s when I took her stuff in my apartment out of the baggage but I eventually told her and she cried. My job is extremely tiring, I do palletizing, lifting between 25-30 lbs all day. I told her we are incompatible but that we can create our own hobbies, also remember chemistry is isolated from compatibility, chemistry is all about trust, love, caring, the thing is that her ex was (as she told me last last night) was very compatible with her but they lacked chemistry and he wasn’t there for her. I told her also I was very compatible with my ex and that also didn’t work, we are not that bad as far as compatibility and we are/we’re fine, i told her that we can build our own hobbies and experiences, I am sure we love each other and that I can change and be more open to her hobbies, I don’t mind at all to be on her side of the compatibility chart. We will actually talk later in the day. Let’s see what happens.

[Batya33]

Never ever try to convince someone to be with you.  If she thinks this way then respect her opinions and perspectives and let her go.  If she wanted to be with you she'd say that and say that she wanted to work out a way to compromise or resolve differences.  She doesn't -and you trying to convince her means if she stays it's out of pity or obligation which is..... icky.  

Many people do manual labor for multiple hours and also make plans, etc and in your case it tires you out to the point where you've chosen not to prioritize making plans. It's not wrong- it's simply incompatible with the sort of relationship she wants.  My grandpa had a window cleaning business and their "plans" were basically visiting family, and maybe occasionally taking a drive upstate for a weekend.  I doubt he had anything at all to do with planning my mother's wedding - my grandmother was a full time mom and housewife and they didn't need "plans."  But that sort of marriage would not have been right for me.  It was right for them for the over 60 years they were married.

My father worked 6 days a week in a really hard job and made tons of plans -more than my mom did - theater/ballet/symphony/museums/day trips to see nature/sights, etc. My husband works way way more than full time and in the over 20 years I've known him he plans most of our travel and I do some more of the local planning.  But we travel all over, take day trips and road trips and check out art, theater, restaurants, etc.  If he left it all to me it would never have been my cup of tea. 

I know of many couples who are very very happy to enjoy their homes, garden, go for walks spontaneously, cook/bake and eat out rarely, watch TV or read a book, shop for food/essentials and they have a lovely and happy life.  But that's because they chose that together-they are compatible.  And if one would itch to do more there's wiggle room but not because one person starts a full on campaign to change the person with one foot out the door.  A thousand times NO. IMHO

[Patrick100]

19 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Never ever try to convince someone to be with you.  If she thinks this way then respect her opinions and perspectives and let her go.  If she wanted to be with you she'd say that and say that she wanted to work out a way to compromise or resolve differences.  She doesn't -and you trying to convince her means if she stays it's out of pity or obligation which is..... icky.  

Many people do manual labor for multiple hours and also make plans, etc and in your case it tires you out to the point where you've chosen not to prioritize making plans. It's not wrong- it's simply incompatible with the sort of relationship she wants.  My grandpa had a window cleaning business and their "plans" were basically visiting family, and maybe occasionally taking a drive upstate for a weekend.  I doubt he had anything at all to do with planning my mother's wedding - my grandmother was a full time mom and housewife and they didn't need "plans."  But that sort of marriage would not have been right for me.  It was right for them for the over 60 years they were married.

My father worked 6 days a week in a really hard job and made tons of plans -more than my mom did - theater/ballet/symphony/museums/day trips to see nature/sights, etc. My husband works way way more than full time and in the over 20 years I've known him he plans most of our travel and I do some more of the local planning.  But we travel all over, take day trips and road trips and check out art, theater, restaurants, etc.  If he left it all to me it would never have been my cup of tea. 

I know of many couples who are very very happy to enjoy their homes, garden, go for walks spontaneously, cook/bake and eat out rarely, watch TV or read a book, shop for food/essentials and they have a lovely and happy life.  But that's because they chose that together-they are compatible.  And if one would itch to do more there's wiggle room but not because one person starts a full on campaign to change the person with one foot out the door.  A thousand times NO. IMHO

I accept my mistakes as I also told her, I am just asking for another chance, I literally haven’t had a single week to at least try, we all deserve one chance, it’s not like I’m cheating or worst…I am not convincing her that she shouldn’t break up with me, I am just asking for a second chance, not even second chance, my first chance…if that makes sense, she haven’t even said the words BREAK UP, I think she wants to change me and she is giving the heads up that if I don’t then we are done (she said that if this keeps happening she won’t see us on long term), the reason I know this is because I keep asking her what is she thinking and doesn’t say the words, you cannot give mixed signals, I keep telling her that if she feel we should break up I will accept her decision and she stays quiet….(please help me under this part) I am giving her my opinions on how I can change for her, I love her and I don’t mind to change. 
thank you for this amazing comment, I love the stories and yes, I think I will probably get a less physical job, I admire people that can make plans for the family even tho they have a hard job (physical too), this inspired me because I know it’s possible to do something like that

[Dollface417]

I agree with a few others on this. Don’t beg, don’t call, it’s now time to practice radio silence. She needs to experience life without you to appreciate the person you are. It’s a lot of us women out here who want exactly what you’re giving to her, but it sounds like it’s not enough in her eyes. She doesn’t appreciate what you have in this current moment and the only way to get someone to appreciate you is to remove yourself and become inaccessible. You sound like a chilvarous man which is very rare to find in men these days of all ages. Practice self love,  give the love you are trying to give her to yourself. Some time from each other is needed, you cannot grow or elevate this relationship without self love. If you really want to make this work I would talk with her about you all taking some time apart. If she agrees I would then practice no contact and focus on you. If after some time away nothing has changed it’s time to learn this lesson and move on. You don’t want to be stuck with someone who doesn’t appreciate small things. You’re a hardworking person and you also need time for yourself to rest, recharge and gather your own thoughts she sounds like a princess you need a queen! 

[Patrick100]

40 minutes ago, Dollface417 said:

recharge

 

40 minutes ago, Dollface417 said:

I agree with a few others on this. Don’t beg, don’t call, it’s now time to practice radio silence. She needs to experience life without you to appreciate the person you are. It’s a lot of us women out here who want exactly what you’re giving to her, but it sounds like it’s not enough in her eyes. She doesn’t appreciate what you have in this current moment and the only way to get someone to appreciate you is to remove yourself and become inaccessible. You sound like a chilvarous man which is very rare to find in men these days of all ages. Practice self love,  give the love you are trying to give her to yourself. Some time from each other is needed, you cannot grow or elevate this relationship without self love. If you really want to make this work I would talk with her about you all taking some time apart. If she agrees I would then practice no contact and focus on you. If after some time away nothing has changed it’s time to learn this lesson and move on. You don’t want to be stuck with someone who doesn’t appreciate small things. You’re a hardworking person and you also need time for yourself to rest, recharge and gather your own thoughts she sounds like a princess you need a queen! 

Thank you 😞 I do accept my mistakes, there are factors why i seemed not interested or distant with the things she claims i lack. It’s not that I was pretending to open the doors of every place we go to as a way of being fake, I was genuinely like that with her, all these years I always asked her if she needed something, if she was ok while we were resting, if she needed water or anything. sometimes I felt it was too much that it just became irritating for her. She told me that night that she wanted a dominant man and I told her I can’t be like that because my uncles used to beat my aunts, they went to jail for killing and they are all misogynist cheaters, I grew up without my dad Because he cheated on my mother, all of them were dominant, she said she needed someone who takes the lead and I did that, just my way, my way. Sometimes I feel like women they like bad guys, it seems the love that kind of dominance, that’s my only explanation. I have my own place, I pay my bills and all of that, I’ve never been to jail or had any tickets of any kind, sometimes I feel women just don’t like my type, I am not perfect, I told her that I am only dominant towards men, meaning that I respect her too much to even be too dominant, I never raised my voice, I never made her cry with comments or made her sad, if that’s bad then I don’t know what to think, I am soo confused as really what women want.

she is the princess type, I am not being shady or anything, I used to date a queen (she was 14 years older than me, I am 34 now, of that 4 years ago), sometimes I feel that she doesn’t comprehend mature love and comprehension, she is probably still thinking about the boy type. That’s what my gut tells me. 

[Batya33]

24 minutes ago, Patrick100 said:

sometimes I feel that she doesn’t comprehend mature love and comprehension, she is probably still thinking about the boy type. That’s what my gut tells me. 

Or it might be as simple as not a good match- no need to make such broad assumptions - I don't think anyone "comprehends" mature love - it's subjective -I think people make choices as to how to give love.  And love is only part of a healthful relationship and is not enough for a healthful romantic relationship.  Is it possible you don't fully know how to treat yourself with dignity and self respect?

I wouldn't assume that her desire for a man who takes charge more means she wants a bad boy/to be abused. Simply accept that she is not that into you and you two are not a good match and move on so you two can find better matches.

[Patrick100]

6 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Or it might be as simple as not a good match- no need to make such broad assumptions - I don't think anyone "comprehends" mature love - it's subjective -I think people make choices as to how to give love.  And love is only part of a healthful relationship and is not enough for a healthful romantic relationship.  Is it possible you don't fully know how to treat yourself with dignity and self respect?

I wouldn't assume that her desire for a man who takes charge more means she wants a bad boy/to be abused. Simply accept that she is not that into you and you two are not a good match and move on so you two can find better matches.

True, thank you, being not compatible simply means we are not a match, she is all I wanted but I am not her match. 

[Batya33]

5 minutes ago, Patrick100 said:

True, thank you, being not compatible simply means we are not a match, she is all I wanted but I am not her match. 

Yes also if you truly think she is that immature -why do you want to be with her?

[Patrick100]

22 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Yes also if you truly think she is that immature -why do you want to be with her?

She is fragile, she is 29. Nowadays people take longer to mature. She is nice, loving, caring, attentive, adorable, but she is also with depression over her mom’s death, she is a very strong woman, she ended her last relationship because the guy was simply not her for her after her mom passed away, she is growing to be more cautious and protective with her feelings and we never had a fight or argument, I told her that all I want in a relationship is her, she accused me that I would just date anybody but not everyone is like her, I am sure if I find someone else that person will either cheat on me or be mean (like the older queen I dated). To be honest, if we split I don’t think I’ll ever date again and I’ll focus more on myself, I told her that, there are no other like her and I want to protect that, I care about her and love her too much, that’s the absolute truth, she lights my path. 

[Patrick100]

2 minutes ago, Patrick100 said:

She is fragile, she is 29. Nowadays people take longer to mature. She is nice, loving, caring, attentive, adorable, but she is also with depression over her mom’s death, she is a very strong woman, she ended her last relationship because the guy was simply not her for her after her mom passed away, she is growing to be more cautious and protective with her feelings and we never had a fight or argument, I told her that all I want in a relationship is her, she accused me that I would just date anybody but not everyone is like her, I am sure if I find someone else that person will either cheat on me or be mean (like the older queen I dated). To be honest, if we split I don’t think I’ll ever date again and I’ll focus more on myself, I told her that, there are no other like her and I want to protect that, I care about her and love her too much, that’s the absolute truth, she lights my path. 

I told her that I don’t really care of her flags, that doesn’t mean I just date anybody, coming from a toxic, mean and cheating relationship like with my ex this is heaven and as I mentioned I always dreamt of someone like her because I am never a mean person, just grumpy, I am human, she is just perfect, all her friends love her, her coworkers, she is very nice upon a stranger’s eyes and even at home in private.

[Batya33]

3 minutes ago, Patrick100 said:

She is fragile, she is 29. Nowadays people take longer to mature. She is nice, loving, caring, attentive, adorable, but she is also with depression over her mom’s death, she is a very strong woman, she ended her last relationship because the guy was simply not her for her after her mom passed away, she is growing to be more cautious and protective with her feelings and we never had a fight or argument, I told her that all I want in a relationship is her, she accused me that I would just date anybody but not everyone is like her, I am sure if I find someone else that person will either cheat on me or be mean (like the older queen I dated). To be honest, if we split I don’t think I’ll ever date again and I’ll focus more on myself, I told her that, there are no other like her and I want to protect that, I care about her and love her too much, that’s the absolute truth, she lights my path. 

Well no. I disagree that people take longer to mature. She is an individual with a lot of mental health issues. My friend has 3 daughters. The 26 year old is a married mother of 3 and her 29 year old husband runs his own company. She works very hard raising her young kids. The 35 year old got married in the last 10 years and her 33 year old husband has been a hard worker- manual labor - for many years   They have 3 young kids. 
Several other friends have kids in their 20s who are very mature. 
you never have to date. And you can “focus” on yourself - your personal growth , fun stuff , hobbbies, learning new things - AND be in a healthful romantic relationship.
Most people benefit from a balance of social life and close friends and or a close romantic partner and can “focus” on themselves. Do you have a particular plan as to how you would focus on yourself to the exclusion of anyone else?  Certainly you don’t have to date ever again but it’s a bit foolish to presume she is the only one on earth who is a good match. A bit dramatic no??

[Batya33]

4 minutes ago, Patrick100 said:

I told her that I don’t really care of her flags, that doesn’t mean I just date anybody, coming from a toxic, mean and cheating relationship like with my ex this is heaven and as I mentioned I always dreamt of someone like her because I am never a mean person, just grumpy, I am human, she is just perfect, all her friends love her, her coworkers, she is very nice upon a stranger’s eyes and even at home in private.

I am close with and dated and loved many nice people. Nice is a positive as long as the person is also reasonably secure. Nice doesn’t mean good match for a committed relationship.  Nice and well liked doesn’t mean she’s a good match for you. 

[Patrick100]

24 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Well no. I disagree that people take longer to mature. She is an individual with a lot of mental health issues. My friend has 3 daughters. The 26 year old is a married mother of 3 and her 29 year old husband runs his own company. She works very hard raising her young kids. The 35 year old got married in the last 10 years and her 33 year old husband has been a hard worker- manual labor - for many years   They have 3 young kids. 
Several other friends have kids in their 20s who are very mature. 
you never have to date. And you can “focus” on yourself - your personal growth , fun stuff , hobbbies, learning new things - AND be in a healthful romantic relationship.
Most people benefit from a balance of social life and close friends and or a close romantic partner and can “focus” on themselves. Do you have a particular plan as to how you would focus on yourself to the exclusion of anyone else?  Certainly you don’t have to date ever again but it’s a bit foolish to presume she is the only one on earth who is a good match. A bit dramatic no??

Deep down I know her mental health is influencing this as well, she is depressed, she has anxiety attacks, she overthink her health, meaning if her elbow hurts she immediately thinks she will get sick like her mom, those are sign of severe depression. i care about her too much just to leave, she said that night that she doesn’t want to waste my time, I am really confuse about it.

I paint, I used to lift weights, i hang out with family, I am pretty basic, I used to be a party guy, going out and look for fun at 2:00am, people do mature, i was wrong and I apologize, you are right, I think she is not immature just depressed and trust me I want to help her. 
I was single for 3 years after I broke up with the ex, I think it will take longer if i part ways with my gf.

[Patrick100]

30 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I am close with and dated and loved many nice people. Nice is a positive as long as the person is also reasonably secure. Nice doesn’t mean good match for a committed relationship.  Nice and well liked doesn’t mean she’s a good match for you. 

True, you are right, is just that I don’t want this to end. I don’t want to quit that easy specially knowing I can change too.

[Batya33]

31 minutes ago, Patrick100 said:

True, you are right, is just that I don’t want this to end. I don’t want to quit that easy specially knowing I can change too.

It’s not quitting because it takes two. Not quitting is when two people are motivated to work on a relationship whether on their own or with outside resources. Trying to convince her is quitting on yourself. 
I didn’t want my not right relationship to end because of the extreme downsides. Sometimes we have to do what’s best which might not be what we think we want.  Had I stayed I wouldn’t be a married mom now. 

[Patrick100]

15 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

It’s not quitting because it takes two. Not quitting is when two people are motivated to work on a relationship whether on their own or with outside resources. Trying to convince her is quitting on yourself. 
I didn’t want my not right relationship to end because of the extreme downsides. Sometimes we have to do what’s best which might not be what we think we want.  Had I stayed I wouldn’t be a married mom now. 

So maybe she doesn’t want to hurt my feelings? Why doesn’t she break up with me? That’s the thing? As I mentioned maybe she wants to give me another chance but of course with heart protection. Maybe she wants to stay friends with me after the break up but she haven’t tell me “it’s over” “let’s break up”, she just told me that she wants to be by herself these days and think that’s why she went camping. I haven’t talked to her since she went camping Saturday night, she has no signa but I did texted her, she will get the texts eventually once the signal comes back, I texted her because I know her very well, if I don’t she might think I didn’t care about her trip. I will let you know, she said she needs time to think, if she comes over then I don’t know what to think. It’s just soo confusing. 

[SooSad33]

12 hours ago, Patrick100 said:

i told her that maybe she found another guy and she said no, she says that comparability, sense of humor and minor things like not planning enough are the reasons. I love her a lot and it was not my intention to be seen as not caring, I care about her, I am her shoulder when she is upset (her mom died of cancer 3 years ago and she can’t recover), i never starts arguments (as mentioned we never argue and I’m not even exaggerating), I stick to my reason, her friend, I am aware of my mistakes but I do want another chance, what can I do to change and please help me understand her behavior? She keeps texting me and inviting me to Disney and our regular hikes, she had a camping trip today and she told me she was going, why is she telling me this things if she wants to break up with me (or in the process of it), she haven’t really said “I want to break up with you”, she just asked me these weird questions last night like if we are about to break up and two weeks prior we talked about the issues previously typed (compatibility, not making plans) and tonight she asked me what I thought about our conversation, I told her I was going to change

First off, no, you do not need to 'change'!  This is who you are.  You've done nothing wrong.

And as for her friend, you need to stop bringing her into your issue's.  Your gf can make her own choices on her own.

If she's pulling away , not much you can do, but let her.  And please, do NOT start begging & chasing her!  That makes things even more annoying.

Couples argue all the time, it's very normal.  Fact that you two never do, is actually a bit concerning.  It's how you learn to work together & build a more stable relationship.

Sadly, by sounds of it, she's been doing some heavy thinking the last while and is now bringing this up to you.  Could very well be that her mind is made up, so, not much you can do.

Sometimes, we come to realize we're just not so compatible after all 😕 .  I know, it hurts!  But, nothing anyone can do, except to let them go, work on accepting & healing and moving on with our lives.

 

 

 

[Patrick100]

19 minutes ago, SooSad33 said:

First off, no, you do not need to 'change'!  This is who you are.  You've done nothing wrong.

And as for her friend, you need to stop bringing her into your issue's.  Your gf can make her own choices on her own.

If she's pulling away , not much you can do, but let her.  And please, do NOT start begging & chasing her!  That makes things even more annoying.

Couples argue all the time, it's very normal.  Fact that you two never do, is actually a bit concerning.  It's how you learn to work together & build a more stable relationship.

Sadly, by sounds of it, she's been doing some heavy thinking the last while and is now bringing this up to you.  Could very well be that her mind is made up, so, not much you can do.

Sometimes, we come to realize we're just not so compatible after all 😕 .  I know, it hurts!  But, nothing anyone can do, except to let them go, work on accepting & healing and moving on with our lives.

 

 

 

Yes but if she made up her mind, if she waiting for me to break up? Get it? That’s not how morally anything of these break ups work, I have no reasons to break up but she haven’t said it, that’s why I am soo confused. Yes, she made up her mind a while ago, but why not say it and Ieave. As I mentioned I confronted her by telling her that I put her stuff in bags, she then cried and sobbed into the bedroom, I don’t get it… I feel weird like I’m the one who wants to end this….Asked her to say it and she didn’t. My brain is going to explode, maybe she wants to see that I didn’t leave that easy, maybe testing me, maybe she doesn’t wanna hurt me, maybe she found another guy, I don’t know…

[SooSad33]

2 minutes ago, Patrick100 said:

I have no reasons to break up but she haven’t said it, that’s why I am soo confused. Yes, she made up her mind a while ago, but why not say it and I eve. Asked her to say it and she didn’t. My brain is going to explode

So, to you, she hasn't said enough?  Then ask her straight out.. Are We Done?

No head games... but to you, does it not sound like she's pulled away?

12 hours ago, Patrick100 said:

My GF wants to break up with me for not making enough plans and misunderstanding her (I do plan dates and places to go), I accept that I don’t usually make plans but I do pay for when she makes them.

 

12 hours ago, Patrick100 said:

she also says that we don’t have the same sense of humor,

 

12 hours ago, Patrick100 said:

she claims we are not compatible

 

12 hours ago, Patrick100 said:

She wants space to think

Okay, then give her that space... but sadly, when it comes to this point, they're just not in it anymore 😕 , sorry.

 

[Wiseman2]

41 minutes ago, Patrick100 said:

 she just told me that she wants to be by herself these days and think that’s why she went camping. I haven’t talked to her since she went camping Saturday night, she has no signa but I did texted her.

Unfortunately she seems to be reflecting if she wants to end it and is considering how to do it by "taking space". 

All you can do is wait for her to contact you when she is back in communication and try to clarify whether she wants to work it out or end it.

Is it possible she met someone? Or were there simply too many unresolved conflicts?

[Cherylyn]

You can't change it nor fix it.  She has made up her mind and will stick to it.  Whatever her friends say to her doesn't matter because she is her own person and will make her own personal decisions regarding you.  You'll have to accept her final decision but you don't have to like it. 

As for Disney,  politely decline.  It would feel weird to attend an amusement park or any outing for that matter as if she didn't initiate the break up with you.  It wouldn't be a good idea. 

Part ways peacefully and go no contact permanently so you can really move on with your life.

[Patrick100]

21 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Unfortunately she seems to be reflecting if she wants to end it and is considering how to do it by "taking space". 

All you can do is wait for her to contact you when she is back in communication and try to clarify whether she wants to work it out or end it.

Is it possible she met someone? Or were there simply too many unresolved conflicts?

I asked her: 

do you wanna break up? (No answer), did you met someone? (She said no), have you talked to your ex? (She claims no but she keeps all the number of all the guys she dated and she told me. I think I’m just realizing that I’m wasting my time with someone who is just toying with me and by keeping her exes as phone contacts that just means she will never be satisfied with nobody, she claims she broke up with her ex for the same reasons as mine, i am sure at this point she just wanna stay friends, I told her that keeping contact with her exes (keeping her numbers) is not normal and she didn’t respond maturely. To be honest I am done 

[Patrick100]

Thank you all, I just realized that I am done with her, she will regret it someday, I do hope she finds the perfect guy…and I told her the other day that I never stay friends with my exes, never. Thank you guys, you are very kind and really helped me, I wish we could talk in person but let’s keep it as strangers. You are all amazing