Dollface417

He needs an ultimatum at this point. He proposed and is still cheating? I would definitely reevaluate your connection with him. I would set a timeframe mentally of how much longer you’re willing to tolerate this behavior because if he’s doing this while your engaged he will repeat the same patterns in marriage. Take some time to yourself practice self love and protect you. Clearly he’s still wanting to be single while having you there as well. You deserve better than that. good luck!

What struck out to me the most was the fact that he lied to get the position he has and now has to take classes to cover up the lie? Run for the hills girl! So basically this man is what you would call a “shapeshifter”. Not literally, but I say this because he is the type of man that will shape himself into anything to fit the criteria that is required. Finding true love on a dating app is hard because 9/10 times these apps are made for quick hookups. Until you are in an exclusive relationship with a man might I suggest circular dating and keeping your options open with multiple people not just one, sometimes we can put pressure on one man because we expect him to be someone he is not. You deserve someone who is ready to commit the same way you are. And can give you the consistency you seek. I would not call, text him anymore. Practice self love and cut him off completely he’s not ready to meet your expectations.

I agree I definitely would give it a day or so before reaching out and grabbing something simple like coffee/ice cream so you can get to know him better. You were destined to meet this man for a reason and learn something from connecting with him. Once you all meet and engage a little more you will be able to determine if you seem him as a good friend or potential love interest and go from there! good luck to you!

I’m so sorry to hear you are going through this. I agree with a few others it sounds like he cushioning you for a possible break up. He doesn’t seem empathetic to your feelings at all by saying it’s a “chore” being with you. I feel he means that he doesn’t want to commit to this relationship at this point of his life and he has one foot out the door. With him saying all of this I would practice self love and no contact. If he feels drained it means he’s not happy with where your connection with each other has gone. You seem to really care for him and want to work things out, but he’s telling you what he wants subliminally which is to be single. Prepare yourself for whatever is to come with this man. In him saying he’s feeling drained he does not want to give this connection any more energy. A person who loves you and wants to work things out with you won’t feel drained with you they love to be around you and will work the kinks of the connection out with you through thick and thin.

I agree with a few others on this. Don’t beg, don’t call, it’s now time to practice radio silence. She needs to experience life without you to appreciate the person you are. It’s a lot of us women out here who want exactly what you’re giving to her, but it sounds like it’s not enough in her eyes. She doesn’t appreciate what you have in this current moment and the only way to get someone to appreciate you is to remove yourself and become inaccessible. You sound like a chilvarous man which is very rare to find in men these days of all ages. Practice self love, give the love you are trying to give her to yourself. Some time from each other is needed, you cannot grow or elevate this relationship without self love. If you really want to make this work I would talk with her about you all taking some time apart. If she agrees I would then practice no contact and focus on you. If after some time away nothing has changed it’s time to learn this lesson and move on. You don’t want to be stuck with someone who doesn’t appreciate small things. You’re a hardworking person and you also need time for yourself to rest, recharge and gather your own thoughts she sounds like a princess you need a queen!

It sounds like your girlfriend is an attention seeker. I can tell you are a good man and really want to resolve the issues in your connection. Her making out and engaging with another man in that manner was very disrespectful to you and your relationship and it shows how much she doesn’t respect you. She showed her real side when she was engaging with this “friend” of hers because of the liquor. Once you went through her phone your trust for her went out the window. Why? Because you saw with your own eyes who she really is. And when a person shows their truest side believe them. After confronting her she lied to you about the timelines because she likes the idea of being with you, but is not healed or ready for a commitment of this level with anyone. If she was that drunk to realize that she was doing all of this in front of her partner she’s definitely a serial cheater and can’t commit because she likes an over abundance of attention. I don’t want to give you any negative thoughts im just being honest from a woman’s perspective