Guillean

They work in different offices but in the same area, when the hugging and kissing happened it was after a while of her ignoring me and him ignoring his date, and when it happened my face was shocked and so was his date, she looked at me worried and said easy it's ok she's drunk..

Well the relationship is quite important for both of us, it is very loving and commited from both sides and have plans for a future together. However there is one previous episode that connects with the wine event and her "friend" from that day.. We met in January and by March we were still not official but supposedly exclusive, she had a birthday from a coworker at a bar and i Was in town but not invited, she went there with other work friends icluding this guy, we texted during the afternoon, she got there by 4 pm and by 12 am she was still there so i can imagine she and her friends were very drunk, this on Friday and she stopped replying to me by 1 am and didnt hear from her until sunday, no repply or answering the phone at all, by sunday she wanted to get together the next day for lunch and she broke up with me saying that during the weekend she had a family crisis and it gave her panic attacks so thats why she was unresponsive and that it caused her to want to be alone (we eventually talked and got back together a few weeks later) So you can imagine that was a very weird excuse to break up and after what i saw her do with this guy friend from work in the wine event I remembered he was at the bar that day in March and if she drinks and acts like that with him in front of me, imagine drinking for 8.hours with him and me.not being there and then dissapearing and breaking up with me.. it was pretty obvious for me but she always denied it.

Thank you for your insight, it is very painful and difficult to me right now since it is all very recent, im still very confused about things with her.. but what you say makes a lot of sense and it helps a lot.

I think you're right, it's more about "when" it happened, the thing is she says it all stopped when she met me but as i explained in my post it was very weird to see the guy still talking to her almost one year after she supposeddly stopped everything with him, right after i left, the last day i was with her, saying hi and why no reply? and from another number, seeing no previous text, which tells me they have been keeping in touch during all this time and all she does is delete the conversation when i show up.. but i dont know it is just my gut feeling.

We know each other quite well, our relationship is "still" about long term and commitment to each other and right now i work in another city but travel back and forth to see her every one or two weeks. I understand it is wrong to go into other people's phones, however i did had suspicions starting from the wine episode and honestly i prefer doing it once to really know whats up and make and informed decision rather than living in oblivion for years in a relationship with someone not knowing their true character. And finally no, she's not a sex worker or has been as far as i know but I dont think so...

Some context: I've been with this girl since January and have been official for 4 months now, we are both 36 and are "still" very much in love, we met while i was living over her city and now i have to travel back and forth for work to another city for a couple weeks at a time, it all began a couple months ago when we went to a wine event with one of her work male friends and his date, it was all good but we all ended up pretty drunk and she got very touchy and kissy with this guy in front of me, we had a fight and eventually worked it out with the condition she proves she is not talking with him anymore, to do so she said she would have her phone with no password so i can check whenever i wanted, and so one day I did... It happened over this week, we got together to celebrate 4 months of relationship, and i saw her phone, i found no text of the guy, but.. i found more.. First, She had a text from instagram from a dude from like a month ago telling her he woke up horny and wanted to cuddle, she repplied so happy that he reached out to her and that it would be very nice to do so.. and then no more text, the guy kept talking to her but i saw no repply from her.. Then another Instagram chat with some guy from november 2022, it was a full 5 hour session of sending nudes back and forth (i was disgusted but thought well that was before she met me.. but only a month or 2 before) and then i remembered she had told me when we first met she hadn't been with any man for a period of over a year before we met, so this time period was off. And finally another chat from whastapp from November-December 2022 as well but this was sordid i saw at least 8 months of her being treated like a ***, having phone sex, sending nudes, watching porn together, the guy even telling her he wanted him and 2 of his friends to f..ck her and cum on her and she was ok with it. As far as i saw this was all just long distance, but still.. I was in shock and said nothing but she knew something happened cause i was very silent.. 2 days went by and i confronted her with this she showed me her phone and surprise the whatsapp chat with that guy was gone, however she had a text from him with another number from the same day we were together last time, saying hi and why wont you answer? So my suspicion was that when she decided to have her phone password free she was still talking to him but deleted texts with him when got together.. but forgot to.delete the old one i saw.. She said she met him over instagram during the pandemic (3 years ago..) and that they never got together it was all over the phone and pc.. which for me is very hard to believe.. she swore that she never talked to him again after we first met but i dont know if i can trust her anymore, the worst part is I've treated her like a princess and very respectfully and loving but now i feel like i lost all respect for her, to treat her like that after what i saw which was sickening, makes me feel like im treating a low value and integrity person like a queen.. and I still love her but dont know if i will overcome this and if I can trust her anymore, specially since we are appart for periods of time.. So what do you think..? What should i do? Im very heartbroken and confused right now.