Casual sex partner/FWB ghosts...any thoughts what it might mean?

[catfeeder]

I guess casual means different things to different people, and it can range from treating someone as respectfully as you would a friend to outright disrespect.

So it’s up to you to decide whether anything you view as disrespectful is worth putting up with, because it doesn’t seem to matter enough to him for him to change it.

[Jaunty]

On 8/20/2023 at 9:14 AM, toothless5 said:

And dinner is too much of a price to pay for sex? 

That's what I have never understood. If you buy dinner for your booty call....that's a pretty cheap date. You are going to be paying a lot more to go to an escort service. 

So why not spend a little bit of money on heck, a pizza?

I am a very financially minded person. So....it's just something I've never understood. Dinner, even just a fast casual place, is so much cheaper than other options. 

Most people who are having fun casual sex are not looking at it as a financial arrangement.  Those who are so inclined just go buy sex.  It's easy and straightforward.  Thinking that you're buying sex because you actually paid for a pizza is going to get a man absolutely nowhere with most women, as it shouldn't. 

From your original post, I get the impression that you aren't actually having sex with this guy, anyway.  I'm sure if you want to have sex and will do it in exchange for a pizza and enough advance notice to get your teeth shaved and your body hair brushed, you should not have much trouble organizing that.  This guy isn't the one.

[Wiseman2]

On 8/20/2023 at 10:43 AM, toothless5 said:

 we have been out to dinner a couple of times. And we talk/text pretty sporadically.it seems to me, especially based on the memes and content he sends me, that he is looking for a casual sex partner. 

Have you actually met up for sex yet? Or is it mostly sexting? If it's just sexting and there's really no relationship or FWB or anything, what exactly would you like to see happening? Is this the same man?:

 

[Batya33]

10 hours ago, catfeeder said:

So it’s up to you to decide whether anything you view as disrespectful is worth putting up with, because it doesn’t seem to matter enough to him for him to change it.

Yes and I'd own that it's disrespectful to you - if he's calling you last minute to meet for sex I don't see that as disrespectful - it's the focus of your interactions. If he's making a plan and not showing up or being routinely late or being flaky on a regular basis then that's disrepectful and has nothing to do with why you're meeting -it would be disrespectful in any context among typical people.

Your notion of what this should look like/be like/advance planning is different from his and if you two were actually dating he might change if you said "I'd appreciate more advance notice for a date" but my sense is in a sex-focused arrangement there's going to be less motivation to accommodate that request or care about the other person's scheduling preferences.  But sure in certain cases if the last minute person desires sex with that specific person enough it might be worth it to the person to accommodate.

[MrMan1983]

I would just assume his interest levels are rather medium to low if you're putting the idea out there and not getting a positive (or any response). There is also the fact you have not actually asked a question and just given him the loose 'if you want to' option so it's not exactly ghosting as such, might not hurt to suggest a day/idea with a question mark next time then if he still ignores you I would say it's probably not even worth bothering with and I would agree it's rude in that scenario.