Touching his hair?

[LilyFLEUR]

I recently broke up with my bf because I was interested in another guy. I think he likes me too as we have quite a lot of sexual tension and flirting but I have noticed him with other friends and I don't really like their interactions.

 

There is a girl he has been friends with since 2018 and she was his close guy friends girlfriend. But they broke up. However, he seems way too close with this girl. She keeps throwing herself at him to hug him and tries to touch his hand, hold his hand. She was even touching his hair, telling him how rough his hair looks. He's mostly just patting her on her shoulder but I have noticed her staring at him a lot while talking. She keeps introducing him to her friends, inviting him to events and constantly messaging him.

 

I think she tried to tell him that she wanted more but he started to get distant from her and getting angry at her when she tried to tell him. My friend who works with him at the cafe (part time) saw them and witnessed their conversation.

 

But even after this, she's still messaging him, trying to hold his hand, hugging him etc.

 

He also seems to have only female friends because he keeps a public calender next to my desk and each person he writes down for meet up is a girl. I also saw a picture of him on a couch with another girl and their legs very touching each other.

 

I find it very uncomfortable that he seems to encourage these women to touch him and seemingly has no boundaries with women whatsoever.

 

However, with me, he is different. Initially, he would hug but I declined to have casual sex and he stopped hugging or touching me. He acts reserved and stoic with me whereas with other women he is laughing, talking etc. 

 

I dont know if I should pursue this guy or he's just a player who is insecure about his short frame (5.5) and needs to surround himself with women to feel better about himself.

 

He also said that he's distant in relationships and detached even though when I propose to cut all communication with him, he protested and had a meltdown that we couldn't stop talking.

 

What should I do?

 

[Jibralta]

I think you should move on to something better.

[LilyFLEUR]

3 minutes ago, Jibralta said:

I think you should move on to something better.

I was told I'm insecure 

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, LilyFLEUR said:

. She keeps throwing herself at him to hug him and tries to touch his hand, hold his hand. She was even touching his hair, telling him how rough his hair looks. 

Is this the same man/situation but now you're the GF?

 

[Kwothe28]

If you broke up with boyfriend to date this walking STD that even has a gal to gaslight you when you say you should distance yourself, your picker is broken and you shouldnt date at all.

[LilyFLEUR]

11 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

If you broke up with boyfriend to date this walking STD that even has a gal to gaslight you when you say you should distance yourself, your picker is broken and you shouldnt date at all.

Walking STD?

[LilyFLEUR]

16 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Is this the same man/situation but now you're the GF?

 

 I never said I'm the gf

[shouldhavelearned]

Move on

You said it, he only wanted casual 

[SooSad33]

3 hours ago, LilyFLEUR said:

He also seems to have only female friends because he keeps a public calender next to my desk and each person he writes down for meet up is a girl.

Well, this says plenty 😕 .  He's not relationship material and won't be settling down for a good while yet.

Keep your self respect and distance. Don't expect much.

[smackie9]

This guy is something else. You think this girl is the enemy? think again. This guy is some kind of smooth operator and knows what to say to you to make you think you could be all that to him. This obsession has you so blind.

[lostandhurt]

Wait what?  This other girl is obsessed with him?  It sounds like you are obsessed with him.

You left your bf to go after this guy but are not dating but you are being super protective of him like you are a couple.

 He has a calendar filled with female meet ups, he wanted casual sex but once you turned that down he became cold towards you, he is flirty and has a ton of female friends.

Sounds like a solid choice for a great bf....NOT!!!

 He is just plowing through as many girls as he can while he can and could care less who he hurts along the way. 

 I will give you credit that you broke up with your bf to go after this player but fantasy is over please don't go back to your bf.  He should be with someone that will not throw him away when some guy flirts with is gf.

  Lesson learned but look at it this way.  You had enough integrity to turn him down so you aren't just one more girl he humped and dumped. 

Lost