Merrilsilverste Posted July 5, 2023 Author Share Posted July 5, 2023 1 minute ago, Jaunty said: How about: He's interested in her romantically, or maybe for a hookup. If do how can he be so touchy and close with other women? Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted July 5, 2023 Share Posted July 5, 2023 You could do with some therapy, OP. 2 Link to comment
Jaunty Posted July 5, 2023 Share Posted July 5, 2023 I'm trying one more time: What has happened between you and this fellow that has given you the impression that he "likes" you? Not counting a compliment 8 months ago. Also: How have you managed to gain unlimited access to his phone? Link to comment
Merrilsilverste Posted July 5, 2023 Author Share Posted July 5, 2023 6 minutes ago, Jaunty said: I'm trying one more time: What has happened between you and this fellow that has given you the impression that he "likes" you? Not counting a compliment 8 months ago. Also: How have you managed to gain unlimited access to his phone? Because he had also shared his food with me , came along when I personally invited him for drinks and then he showed me his chats as we are in a PhD group chat (we are phd students) Link to comment
Batya33 Posted July 5, 2023 Share Posted July 5, 2023 5 hours ago, Merrilsilverste said: If do how can he be so touchy and close with other women? Because he feels like it - and it's none of your business why -two consenting adults can touch each other and hug if they feel like it. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted July 5, 2023 Share Posted July 5, 2023 4 hours ago, Merrilsilverste said: Because he had also shared his food with me , came along when I personally invited him for drinks and then he showed me his chats as we are in a PhD group chat (we are phd students) That doesn't mean he is interested in dating you -he hasn't asked you out on a date he planned in advance right? You inviting him to drinks in this context can be totally platonic -wasn't this a group for drinks? Sharing food isn't asking out for a date either. If he wanted to date you he'd ask you out on a date. Assume he has not done so because either he's not interested or available to date. Link to comment
Jaunty Posted July 5, 2023 Share Posted July 5, 2023 8 hours ago, Merrilsilverste said: Because he had also shared his food with me , came along when I personally invited him for drinks and then he showed me his chats as we are in a PhD group chat (we are phd students) Coming along with a group doesn't mean he is romantically interested in you whether you invited him or not. He might have been excited about another woman in that group, or just wanted to go out. The stories you are telling make no sense. Get a reality check. 1 Link to comment
Merrilsilverste Posted July 5, 2023 Author Share Posted July 5, 2023 29 minutes ago, Jaunty said: Coming along with a group doesn't mean he is romantically interested in you whether you invited him or not. He might have been excited about another woman in that group, or just wanted to go out. The stories you are telling make no sense. Get a reality check. todat the girl ignored him and gave hima hateful look but he was okay with it and later on she told him about her struggles of how her grandma died and her job interviews, and he was like think for yourself, don't let them mistreat you, go home and take the day off and tell the office and interviewers that there has been a loss in the family and you want to reschedule or take the day off Link to comment
boltnrun Posted July 5, 2023 Share Posted July 5, 2023 1 minute ago, Merrilsilverste said: todat the girl ignored him and gave hima hateful look but he was okay with it and later on she told him about her struggles of how her grandma died and her job interviews, and he was like think for yourself, don't let them mistreat you, go home and take the day off and tell the office and interviewers that there has been a loss in the family and you want to reschedule or take the day off How do you know all of these details about their conversations? Do you lurk nearby eavesdropping? Or do you snatch his phone away from him and go through it? This situation is extremely strange. 1 Link to comment
Merrilsilverste Posted July 5, 2023 Author Share Posted July 5, 2023 4 hours ago, Batya33 said: That doesn't mean he is interested in dating you -he hasn't asked you out on a date he planned in advance right? You inviting him to drinks in this context can be totally platonic -wasn't this a group for drinks? Sharing food isn't asking out for a date either. If he wanted to date you he'd ask you out on a date. Assume he has not done so because either he's not interested or available to date. Today the girl ignored him and gave hima hateful look but he was okay with it and later on she told him about her struggles of how her grandma died and her job interviews, and he was like think for yourself, don't let them mistreat you, go home and take the day off and tell the office and interviewers that there has been a loss in the family and you want to reschedule or take the day off Link to comment
Merrilsilverste Posted July 5, 2023 Author Share Posted July 5, 2023 13 minutes ago, boltnrun said: How do you know all of these details about their conversations? Do you lurk nearby eavesdropping? Or do you snatch his phone away from him and go through it? This situation is extremely strange. I was next to them eating my lunch so I overheard Link to comment
Batya33 Posted July 5, 2023 Share Posted July 5, 2023 26 minutes ago, Merrilsilverste said: I was next to them eating my lunch so I overheard I would check all the rules/protocols/ethics in your PhD program plus consider how you may end up burning bridges if you continue this meddling behavior with the others. You're right up close to being told you're harassing/acting inappropriately -be careful. You seem obsessed and fantasy-thinking and it's quite concerning to read. Link to comment
Merrilsilverste Posted July 5, 2023 Author Share Posted July 5, 2023 Just now, Batya33 said: I would check all the rules/protocols/ethics in your PhD program plus consider how you may end up burning bridges if you continue this meddling behavior with the others. You're right up close to being told you're harassing/acting inappropriately -be careful. You seem obsessed and fantasy-thinking and it's quite concerning to read. Can you tell me what he was trying to do? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted July 5, 2023 Share Posted July 5, 2023 3 minutes ago, Merrilsilverste said: Can you tell me what he was trying to do? He was trying to have a conversation with her while you tried to listen in. Link to comment
Merrilsilverste Posted July 5, 2023 Author Share Posted July 5, 2023 10 minutes ago, Batya33 said: He was trying to have a conversation with her while you tried to listen in. But why try to offer her advice ? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted July 5, 2023 Share Posted July 5, 2023 1 minute ago, Merrilsilverste said: But why try to offer her advice ? Because he felt like it at that moment -assume that is why. People in general move towards pleasure and away from pain. At that moment it gave him more pleasure to offer her advice. It is really that simple. And since you were intruding on their conversation obviously you cannot ask him about why he offered her advice. That is a downside of behaving inappropriately and eavesdropping. Link to comment
Merrilsilverste Posted July 5, 2023 Author Share Posted July 5, 2023 12 minutes ago, Batya33 said: Because he felt like it at that moment -assume that is why. People in general move towards pleasure and away from pain. At that moment it gave him more pleasure to offer her advice. It is really that simple. And since you were intruding on their conversation obviously you cannot ask him about why he offered her advice. That is a downside of behaving inappropriately and eavesdropping. Why would he give her advice when he doesn't want her? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted July 5, 2023 Share Posted July 5, 2023 10 minutes ago, Merrilsilverste said: Why would he give her advice when he doesn't want her? Because he feels like it and you're assuming a lot here - you're not a mind reader. He might want her now. He might not want her AND feel like giving her advice. He might think he might want her in the future so it's a good thing to stay in her good graces. But again you're assuming lots of stuff based on your nosiness and intrusiveness - no need to assume. If you see someone speaking to someone else assume it is because this is what they choose to do unless they are being forced to speak like the other person is holding a gun or a weapon. Was she? Sounds like no. So get real simple -assume he gave her advice because ...... drum roll..... one more time for the crowd..... he wants to!! Link to comment
Jaunty Posted July 5, 2023 Share Posted July 5, 2023 5 hours ago, boltnrun said: How do you know all of these details about their conversations? Do you lurk nearby eavesdropping? Or do you snatch his phone away from him and go through it? This situation is extremely strange. I think that the OP recently - or maybe it was in a different thread - or even on a different forum where these "questions" are copy/pasted - that she is in fact the "other woman." Is this the case, OP? In the end it doesn't really matter. Nobody knows what that fellow is thinking or feeling except for himself. One thing that's painfully clear as well: The guy is not interested in the OP, whatever position they play in this goofy story. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted July 5, 2023 Share Posted July 5, 2023 5 hours ago, Merrilsilverste said: Why would he give her advice when he doesn't want her? Do you want him to want you? Are you the friend or the other one? Link to comment
Coily Posted July 5, 2023 Share Posted July 5, 2023 5 hours ago, Merrilsilverste said: Why would he give her advice when he doesn't want her? It's like this forum, but in person. 1 Link to comment
Jaunty Posted July 5, 2023 Share Posted July 5, 2023 5 hours ago, Merrilsilverste said: Why would he give her advice when he doesn't want her? Yeah, like the other guy said: I'm giving you advice, but I don't want you either. No offense. Link to comment
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