How to accept failure ?

[Stephaniee]

Hello everyone, 

I want advice on how to deal with failure, I am 26 years old and I feel that I didn't accomplish anything.

My colleagues from university traveled so many times, got married, or got a high paying job. 

When I graduated, I applied to many companies but didn't get accepted although I have good grades, did internships and published research articles. At that time, I was confident and I always tried to be better. But afterwards, I couldn't get a job. Then there was COVID, when it was 2021 I discovered that my friends and colleagues were able to succeed and somehow I failed to do so.

When I got a job, I couldn't fit in. They treated me like an outsider. I tried many times to talk with them and make conversation, especially with the female coworkers but they ignored me. The place where i sit, they always close the lights and sleep on the floor or smoke. I told them that I needed the  lights  to work many times but they were like just open the window. After a year, I complained to my supervisor and told him what they were doing but he didn't believe me and told me to go sit somewhere else if I don't like it. When I sat somewhere far from them, the people around me stopped talking to me since I fought with her. I feel like I am in highschool again.  I didn't mean to fight with her but working without lights really annoyed me.

It frustrates me being paid the minimum wage and not having friends at work. My birthday is coming up and knowing that I would have no one to spend it with makes me even sadder. It's summer vacation and everyone is traveling.

Everytime i think about it, I get angry with myself for not being successful or cool enough to have friends. I hope that you guys won't make fun of me for complaining about my life, I just feel too ashamed to talk to someone in person about it.

[Batya33]

Have you ever considered working with a career coach or life coach ?  Do you think the way you interact with people is off putting? You’re not a failure. You’re here asking for input.  

[Kwothe28]

5 hours ago, Stephaniee said:

hey always close the lights and sleep on the floor or smoke.

To what kind of a place you are working for? Amazon packing facility? 😕

Do you often have troubles socializing with people? I was never extrovert person. But I was generally loved by colleagues. Because I always made an effort to hang out. Even if they smoke on terrace, the rest of us were just drinking coffee(there is no separation here for non- smokers). And was generally accepted by people. Whereas you complained about lights, smoking, sleeping on floor etc. Even complained to The Boss. And you wonder why they dont like you? We dont choose our colleagues. Sometimes they would be most annoying people on the planet. But for our sake, we have to adapt as we spend several hours a day with them. I am not talking about this current job, sounds like you just hate it there overall and its maybe a time to change it. But for some future one. 

[boltnrun]

49 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

Amazon packing facility? 😕

Amazon doesn't allow smoking or sleeping in their facilities. Unfortunately I know far too much about working there 😕

You aren't a failure, OP, just stuck in a rut. There are ways to get yourself out but they all require efforts that could be difficult at first. Schooling? Training? Working with a recruiter from Indeed or an employment agency? 

Same with social isolation. There are tons of volunteer opportunities. Agencies are frantic for volunteers. Whatever your passion is, some agency needs volunteers. I see posts on Insta and Facebook all the time asking for help. It's fun, plus you are helping others and that feels good. Plus you will definitely meet people.

Hope you're able to get your life to where you want it. 

[Kwothe28]

36 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Amazon doesn't allow smoking or sleeping in their facilities. Unfortunately I know far too much about working there 😕

I heard all kinds of stories about their Europe facilities. People stuck in one room, people not being allowed to go to toilet etc. Thought maybe OP is in one of those facilities. But yes, its really peculiar that they could sleep at work. Only one of my work where I was "semi allowed" to sleep was nightshift at Hotel reception as we didnt get traffic almost at all at late night. So I finished dailies and could nap until 5am where I was suppose to "open new day" at computer and prepare for breakfast and such. Though I never could sleep there. That is why I am asking what kind of job is where you can sleep at floor. 😐

[Stephaniee]

1 hour ago, Kwothe28 said:

To what kind of a place you are working for? Amazon packing facility? 😕

Do you often have troubles socializing with people? I was never extrovert person. But I was generally loved by colleagues. Because I always made an effort to hang out. Even if they smoke on terrace, the rest of us were just drinking coffee(there is no separation here for non- smokers). And was generally accepted by people. Whereas you complained about lights, smoking, sleeping on floor etc. Even complained to The Boss. And you wonder why they dont like you? We dont choose our colleagues. Sometimes they would be most annoying people on the planet. But for our sake, we have to adapt as we spend several hours a day with them. I am not talking about this current job, sounds like you just hate it there overall and its maybe a time to change it. But for some future one. 

No I work in an engineering office.

Well at first I did try to talk to them ask them about their weekend, what they bought etc. I even once showed them what i got. All showed no reaction and one of them just nodded without a single word. The place was small and they sat on the floor and get annoyed when I wanted to get out. I mean after a year i felt pathetic for trying whilst they were just so unfriendly. 

[Stephaniee]

4 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

I heard all kinds of stories about their Europe facilities. People stuck in one room, people not being allowed to go to toilet etc. Thought maybe OP is in one of those facilities. But yes, its really peculiar that they could sleep at work. Only one of my work where I was "semi allowed" to sleep was nightshift at Hotel reception as we didnt get traffic almost at all at late night. So I finished dailies and could nap until 5am where I was suppose to "open new day" at computer and prepare for breakfast and such. Though I never could sleep there. That is why I am asking what kind of job is where you can sleep at floor. 😐

I work for an engineering office 

[catfeeder]

Not fitting in with a bunch of slackers who sleep on the job isn’t exactly something to be ashamed of.

I’m so sorry you’re feeling lousy right now, honey, but maybe a quick refresher on the classic ‘Ugly Duckling’ fable might help you to gain some perspective and embrace your inner Swan?

Welcome to the world of the late bloomer, which is usually the opposite of a failure despite the humbling experiences that can temper one’s ego even while building empathy for the plights of others who will follow similar paths behind you.

The key is to avoid sinking yourself into a deeper hole to climb out of by buying into the belief that greatness is for others and not for you. Instead, read up on the countless failures of those who you admire, and trust that you can break free of the mental cage that you’ve come to believe surrounds you. You can move just one single brick in your wall that will shift your circumstances along with your perceptions.

Consider contacting your university placement department for an appointment for evaluation and help with finding a new job.

Also use your vacation and personal days for visiting temporary agencies that can place you inside companies to perform various jobs (doesn’t matter what roles) while you evaluate their culture and are then eligible to apply for jobs inside that are not published to outsiders.

Don’t impose a ‘failure’ mentality on yourself, and trust the process. This can make all of the difference in how you frame your past, present and future. And framing things in a positive manner can make all of the difference in shifting your reality with braver choices.

[Wiseman2]

16 hours ago, Stephaniee said:

Itfrustrates me being paid the minimum wage and not having friends at work. My birthday is coming up and knowing that I would have no one to spend it with 

Happy birthday. Sorry this is happening. Your coworkers don't seem like good people to befriend.

Take some time to update your CV and LinkedIn profile. Start browsing and applying for jobs.