I'm struggling to survive 😪

[Deadtoyouforever74]

I'm recently married and I'm ready for a divorce.  My old high school sweetheart and I married but I don't love him anymore.  Too much has been done. He thinks I don't have a clue what he has become.  I want to mutilate myself.  I  hate myself no time will ever heal me.  He thinks he's irreplaceable and *** everything that moves.  I don't feel love.  Things won't get better.  They never will. He has pushed me to suicide.  It will end my pain. 

I'm going to disappear and never look back.  I don't want him to know if I am ever alive or dead. 

I can't go on feeling this way. 

[Wiseman2]

36 minutes ago, Deadtoyouforever74 said:

.  Things won't get better.  They never will. He has pushed me to suicide.  It will end my pain. 

Please call a mental health hotline. Someone will listen to you and help you. They'll be able to understand what's going on and help you find local  ongoing support.

Were you forced into marriage? Do you have friends and family who you can confide in? You've reached out here, so please reach out to local help.

[gamon]

Why is getting a divorce so difficult? Sounds like there's no kids and not a lot of intermingling of assets.

It will probably be a lot easier than you think to extricate yourself from your current situation and start your life over again.

Lots of us do it. It's always darkest before the dawn.

 

[smackie9]

Stop beating yourself up.....it's ok to give up, and call it quits. Doesn't mean you are a bad person or a failure. Some relationships run their course, are so bad that the best solution is to move on. Contact a close friend or family member and talk to them. You would be surprised how much people are willing to help out. Seek out a lawyer, and start proceedings. Your lawyer is there to protect you and your assets.....your ex will not get away with bullying you. If the ex gets too rough with you, you can get a harassment order against them. You can do this!

[redswim30]

OP, please call 988 immediately.  24 hour free crisis hotline.  Please speak to a professional that can help you. 

Please don't seek a permanent solution to a temporary problem.   I've been through a divorce, so I know first-hand how hard and painful it can be.  But TRUST ME, it is NOT worth your life.  HE is not worth your LIFE.  You are Loved.  I'm sure you have lots of relatives, friends, co-workers, and acquaintances that would be devastated if you were no longer here.  

You harming yourself will not hurt him.  Suicide punishes the person themselves and the people that truly love them, NOT the people who take them for granted or mistreat them.  Want revenge?  The best revenge you can have on your spouse is to divorce him and live a FULL AND HAPPY LIFE WITHOUT HIM. 

THERE ARE MUCH BETTER MEN OUT THERE THAT ARE WORTHY OF YOU.   Do not Throw yourself away for someone that is not worthy of you and doesn't deserve you. 

You are beautiful.  You are valued.  YOU ARE LOVED (by people that MATTER)

Please call 988.  Right away.