Did I mess up?

[Squigg]

I recently went on a couple of dates with someone that I thought went really well. Shared interests, good communication and a lot of laughing. When I was walking her back to her car I was pushing her up a hill because she had sore legs from the gym. She complained I wasn't really pushing and I joked I could push lower down then and pushed her bum. I texted her about a third date and she said I weirded her out and didn't think a third date was a good idea. I felt terrible for having done what I did and apologised and said I overstepped and immediately regretted it. She told me she would consider it over the weekend but she has had bad experiences in the past and this is a red flag. It was only a second date but I thought there was potential. 

 

I have not contacted her to give her the space she wants but would like to reach out on Monday if I don't hear from her. I have thought about what I did and would like to explain that it was meant in a flirty way but I totally misread the situation. Should I just leave it and if she wants to she can contact me?

[kctiger]

She couldn’t walk up a hill without you helping her because her legs were too sore from working out? Is that a joke? So you misread the situation, I get it. But she took it the wrong way. You’ve done all you can do by apologizing, but don’t continue to pester her. If she doesn’t contact you again, then move forward. Honestly she sounds high maintenance by asking someone to give her a push up a hill because her legs are sore, then complaining because you aren’t pushing hard enough. It sounds like a flirty gesture, either that or she is incredibly melodramatic. Give me a break. 

Asking as guy to do that means you have a certain comfort level with them because it requires physical contact. 

[Kwothe28]

What do you mean "push her legs up the hill"? You could have just, you know, hold her with one hand and help her climp hill. You initiate contact and its way more romantic.

Also what are you doing pushing her bum? It is innapropriate if you are not intimate and even if you are, its still way too forward.

I dunno what to tell you. Once women decide something, its hard to change their mind. She see you as some creeperr now. Its hard that would change over weekend. Dont contact her and see if she contacts you. But dont expect too much there.

[MissCanuck]

Speaking as a woman...if you haven't already established some sort of physical intimacy, a guy putting his hands on my backside on the 2nd date would not land well. It was too soon and you don't know her well enough to judge whether this would cross a line. It is always better to err on the side of caution and not go for any below-the-belt touching unless you've got a very green light. 

1 hour ago, Squigg said:

would like to explain that it was meant in a flirty way but I totally misread the situation.

She already know this, unless she is totally dense. It doesn't mean it will make it any better, if your interpretation of flirty (touching her rear end) differs that much from hers. You have already apologized so I would avoid the urge to over-explain. 

Anyway, what's done is done. She may have a change of heart but the ball is in her court now. 

[Squigg]

Thanks for the advice. I totally agree what I did was out of line and looking back I honestly don't know why I did it. I was nervous and it was a stupid spur of the moment thing. It was totally out of character for me. I guess there is a selfish side of me that just wants her to know that but I think she probably does already and it doesn't matter. I think messing up that way just made me feel like an idiot because I was really interested in where things might have led with her. 

[left due to request]

This was a second date meaning you guys are getting to know each other.  Unless she asked, I don't think any physical contact at this time could be misinterpreted.  I would have offered support of my shoulders with her arm but if she said no then I would stop and rest until she was ready to move.

I'm not sure about contacting her on Monday.  I would think it's best to wait for her to contact you, but that's just what I would do.

[Cherylyn]

Yes, you messed up.  You'll know in the future what not to do.  You've since apologized profusely.  There's nothing else you can do.  Live and learn. 

[jul-els]

You crossed a boundary that she wasn’t comfortable with and yes, grabbing someone’s butt is inappropriate. I’m sure you know that. You made a mistake and have apologized for it, which is all you can do at this point. Chalk it up to a lesson learned and move on.