Is he interested or just being nice?

[questionsoflove]

I apologize for errors as English is not my first language. We both are studying abroad for a semester of college coming from different schools (he’s a junior undergrad and I’m in my first year of PhD program). We sat next to each other for a 6 hour flight and talked the entire way. He even told me that he’s never had an experience where he’s opened up to a stranger that deeply before. I agreed and he teased that he must be special. When we landed, he took a call and I thought it was his girlfriend but said nothing. He immediately clarified that is was his sister. On the drive to our new campus, he shared his headphones with me and showed me all of his favorite music. He asked for my number and agreed we should meet up in the future. The next night he texted me that he was out partying and said I should come by that club. So, I did and we danced / talked for hours. He bought me two drinks and introduced me to all his friends. One friend who he introduced me to ended up asking for my number and I felt awkward saying no in front of him, so I gave it. I left before him and he kept texting asking if I made it home okay (the guy, not the friend). He also said he was planning on going out again the following night and invited me. I waited all day to hear from him and got nothing. I texted him that I hoped he had a good day and he just replied “u too!” 
 

So…a few questions.
 

1. Am I too old for him / are we in too different places in life? He’s a frat boy and I’m a grad student…

 

2. Is he interested or just being nice and wanting a friend? 
 

3. Am I wrong for feeling strongly this soon? It hasn’t even been a week. I don’t want to come off as crazy butI really felt we hit it off.
 

4. I have been the one initiating the texts for past day. So, so I not text him anymore until he texts me?
 

thank you. ♥️  

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, questionsoflove said:

. The next night he texted me that he was out partying and said I should come by that club. 

 How old is he? Yes step back a bit. Asking you to join him when he's already out is not really a date. If you enjoy hanging out with him, that's great but if you are interested in dating him, he doesn't seem to be moving in that direction.

[Jaunty]

4 hours ago, questionsoflove said:

1. Am I too old for him / are we in too different places in life? He’s a frat boy and I’m a grad student…

That's up to you.  Nobody knows yet except  for him.

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3. Am I wrong for feeling strongly this soon? It hasn’t even been a week. I don’t want to come off as crazy butI really felt we hit it off 

YES.   Slow down.  Feeling excited about potentially meeting someone is fine, but strong feelings?  No.  You really don't know him and that's too much too soon.  Some people will get scared away by it, too.

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4. I have been the one initiating the texts for past day. So, so I not text him anymore until he texts me?

 

Not necessarily.  There aren't rules.  Lots of guys like women who chase them.  But be prepared for this to go nowhere, simply because the majority of initial contacts do not lead to relationships.  Since you're getting so invested so early, I'm concerned that you might not deal with it well if he does not reciprocate your feelings.

 

[Kwothe28]

I am sorry, but calling you out while he is already out is not a date. He seems like he is in his party phase in college and that he doesnt care. I did the same when me and my friends were in college, we would organize something and we would call women we would know to the party. Not exactlly a date situation, more like "we need women, lets call some". 

If he wanted to date you, he would make an effort and call you to an actual date. Not to mention actually chase you(including calls and messages first) and not allow other men to just go take your number. So look at this as him not being interested for something more. Sorry.

[Batya33]

I think he is attracted to you and enjoys talking with you and hanging out and he doesn't want to date you right now.  He may have met someone else that night when he was out or on another night. No need to over think -I had many one and done awesome dates when I dated and learned very very early on - realistically -if there is no time/place date planned then there is no next date unless and until he calls again (or if you are the kind of person who asks men out which is fine -your choice- unless he enthusiastically accepts an invitation for a date planned in advance (not "I'm here, come hang").  

Many years ago I had a few situations like this: I'd be in contact with a guy through an online site -brief contact which is how I did it pre-meeting.  He'd say he wanted to meet but wouldn't make an actual plan (and yes I'd indicate when I was free etc).  Then he'd randomly call last minute because he was going to be nearby or was nearby and did I want to come meet him.  I always said NO.  A first meet is not a date but if he couldn't be bothered to put in the effort to make a plan in advance to meet I knew he wasn't a person who was going to treat me in a respectful way and properly date/court me. 

Be "spontaneous" once you know the person shows through his actions he is reliable, respectful, plans dates in advance, shows up on time, etc.  Be "spontaneous" if you're on the date he planned and he says "you know I know of this great place for dessert with a view of the city but it's about a mile walk -are you up for it? Etc.  

Meeting as you did is fun and romantic - but it doesn't mean the people will want to date each other. Do not be his hang out girl -if he calls again to hang say that sounds lovely and I'm busy - if you want to make a plan to get together let me know!

[MissCanuck]

I think he is attracted to you and is up for a good time, But I wouldn’t get too eager about dating him, seeing as how he has not asked you on a date. He might also get the wrong idea about you  seeing as how you also gave your number to his friend. 

I would also caution you against the notion that you have strong feelings. The truth is that you barley know this person. Be careful not to confuse excitement and attraction for feelings. 

[left due to request]

simply put, he wants sex and you want a relationship.  You decide.

[Andrina]

You're only there temporarily. You likely don't hail from the same city (I'm assuming.) You're naive to think this will blossom into a forever love where one of you will uproot and move to the other's city for happily ever after.

Chemistry is only biological. You have to look at everything beyond that. His friend asked for your number. If his friend thought or knew this guy wanted to date you, he wouldn't be asking for your number. Therefore, the guy didn't relay this to his buddy. 

He's showing you his pattern of how he likes to spend his leisure time. Going to the bar every night with buddies isn't conducive to creating a a healthy dating situation.

As for you, you're going to have to get a spine for your own protection. Giving a number to a guy you didn't want to give a number to just to avoid awkwardness? You're making yourself vulnerable to unsafe practices, and worrying more about another person versus doing what's best for yourself.

I'd avoid getting involved with someone who doesn't live in your permanent city. You will be very busy in your PhD program, and won't have time for a LDR (not that he seems interested in something serious). In your shoes, I'd only date upon my return to the city where I normally live.

[Betterwithout]

Give it a couple of days.  I get it....after making such a great connection, it's hard to be in a holding pattern. 
In the meantime, find some nice distractions and see what happens.
Remember, even the best of interactions can turn to sand, especially in the younger dating years.

Enjoy the single life for now, there is plenty of time to settle down.