I am ashamed of my adultery and I am paying dearly now

[hjvs]

I was married for 5.5 years to the love of my life. Divorce papers have been filed but nothing is finalized yet.

 

We have been separated for 13 months. I cheated on him 1 year ago w. a man I met at work. I cheated because I felt very very lonely and like something was missing in my life. I tried to get counselling but I couldn't find a decent counselor. The other guy made me feel "alive" again. But it was shortlived and I thought I was in "love." I found out later that it was my depression that was making me feel empty and alone.

 

Well my husband found out. He said he would have tried to make it work if I wouldn't have lied so much. By then he couldn't trust me anymore and I moved out.

 

We are using one lawyer and are remaining friends. On occasion we hang out, email from time to time and chat on the phone. He is not actively pursuing the divorce, I call the lawyer and make all the moves. But I have stopped so i can postpone it as long as possible.

 

I have asked him to forgive me and I have apologized and I told him the other guy is GONE. Also, I have begged him to take me back and to try to make things work. He says he is too destroyed by what I did and he is not ready to be involved w. anyone. He says that he likes things as they are. In addition, he cannot say that the door is closed completely between us.

 

I love this man w. all of me. He was put on this Earth for me. I desperately want him back and I don't know how to achieve that. Should I wait for him? I have no problem doing that because I have NO desire to be w. anyone but him.

 

What else can I do? My life is a complete mess w. out him. I cry all the time and miss him terribly. I know what I did was WRONG and I pay for it everyday because I have lost him.

 

Please advise.

 

Thanks.

[caosuagwu]

i understand how you feel about what you did and also the fact that you want your husband back. if he is interested in resuming the relationship, then maybe because of what happened, he assumes there could be a second occurrence and that is not what he expects from a wife. if you really want him back, then it is up to you to ensure that what happened the first time would not happen a second time. his reluctance to give you a second chance is based on the fact that the trust that was there has been broken and it might be a little difficult to trust again. since you have acknowledged that you made a mistake, you should try to convince him that it was a mistake you made. Now,it is no guarantee he will take you back, but if you are really serious about how you feel about him, then you might as well give it a shot. he might reconsider !!!!

[axe03]

YOU CHEATED BECAUSE OF DEPRESSION??????LMFAO....ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER,YOU OBVIOUSLY WERENT THINKING ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU LOVED YOUR HUSBAND WHILE YOU WERE DOING THE DIRTY DEED WERE YOU?YOU DESERVE ALL YOU ARE GETTING.LIVE WITH IT......YOUR HUSBAND HAS TO.

REGARDS..

[axe03]

HERES THE BEST ADVICE YOU CAN GET FROM THE AXESTER.

DO YOU REALLY WANT HIM BACK????

IF YOU DO?

#1

YOU NEED TO TELL HIM EVERY DAY,10 TO 20 TIMES A DAY OR MORE,

THAT HE IS AND ALWAYS WAS (THE MAN).YOU NEED TO ASSURE HIM THAT HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE BEST LOOKING,THE BEST LOVER,AND BASICALLY THE BEST..WHAT YOU DID BY CHEATING ON HIM NOT ONLY HURT HIM,BUT YOU ALSO STOMPED ON HIS EGO AND HIS SELF WORTH AS A MAN.YOUR CHEATING MADE HIM FEEL LIKE A FAILURE.AND REMEMBER.....TO A MAN,,,FAILURE IS DEATH.

ARE YOU WILLING TO DO THIS FOR NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TAKES?IF YOU REALLY WANT HIM BACK YOU WILL.AND YOU MOST LIKELY WILL GET HIM BACK WITH THIS METHOD,BUT YOU HALF TO BE SINCERE,BECAUSE HE WILL KNOW.THE ISSUE WITH TIME WILL GET BETTER,AND YOU WILL REGAIN HIS TRUST AGAIN...BUT HE WILL NEVER FORGET.

GOOD LUCK,,,AXE03

P.S.

IF HE DOESNT TAKE YOU BACK,,,,GIVE ME A CALL

[BeenCheated]

Give him more time and a lot of space. It could take years before he trusts you again.