Close friend making rude comments to me

[innerstrength]

hi

 

i am getting increasingly aggitated and annoyed at comments one of my friends is making about me.

 

the thing is i am over 6 foot and i am quite thin. he constantly makes jokes at my expense in front of my other friends about my physique. also i am an extremely shy and self aware person.

 

it is summer here and i am so self aware and shy that i won't wear t-shirts. I always wear jumpers. i feel so sad and not good about myself and have very low self-esteem. i think that if i wear t-shirts people like him will make comments on how thin i am and i will feel embarrassed.

 

Please help me. i feel very down at the moment.

[passions1]

Since you're uncomfy with your friend's comments & it is rude to be teasing you in front of people, then you will need to approach him when you 2 are alone. Tell him that you don't appreciate his comments & find it disrespectful since you as a friend wouldn't tease him in front of people. Your friend probably has his own insecurities as well that is why he is using you as a scape goat perhaps.

 

If he calls you being sensitive & all & refuses to change out of respect for you then you will have to reconsider him if he truly is a "friend" to you. You don't need to be around people who can't treat you with respect, simply try not to be around them if you can & be around people who are nicer than that. Good luck!

 

PS- There is nothing wrong being tall for a guy, b/c you will more likely be getting ladies b/c of your height than the rest of the shorter guys. As for being thin, my guy friends who used to be thin started working out at home 1st b4 they would go to a public gym. It depends on your metabolism, as you age you probably will become less thin.

[innerstrength]

thanku for ur advice. the thing is that he is not that tall a guy maybe he just feels slightly insecure.

[Day_Walker]

Conquer these self image issues. You NEVER let another person determine your self worth. They are only words and you already know you are skinny thats just how it is. Buying into your own insecurity isnt going to solve the problem

[lonelyd00d]

I don't think he's trying to use you as a scape goat. Most likely, he's just trying to be funny, but doesn't realise that he's hurting you in the progress. You'll have to let him know that you don't like it. Don't go as far as telling him it makes you feel insecure. If he isn't the friend you might think he is, he might use that against you as well.

 

Keep your head up. I'm 6ft, and the opposite of thin (and have slightly crooked teeth, hair in places it shouldn't grow, imo, etc. etc.) so I'm pretty self aware too, but I force myself to not be too bothered by it. Indeed you could start working out and stuff

 

Good luck.

[Shidoshi]

he constantly makes jokes at my expense in front of my other friends about my physique.

First off, he isn't your friend. This guy is very aware that it affects you, that's why he keeps doing it. Granted, me and my friends used to do it to each other, even to piss each other off sometimes, but it was never "constant." I know that certain jokes can become hurtful, I can tell by the reaction I get. If this guy's doing it continually in front of other people, he isn't a true "friend."

 

Also, if I'm being made fun of, I always try and come back with something about the other person, because that tends to shut them up. They realize that your going to give them a taste of their own medicine so they can keep making fun "at their own risk."

[Rainz]

Nip it in the bud.

Late last year I severed a long time friendship witha girl that I'd known since we were about 3.

 

This was due to her nit picking at me, always critiscizing me about my choice of partner, my relationships challenges whenever I had them, and just having a dig at me almost any which way she could. It has been that way from ever since we were teens. I always overlooked it as she was suh a good friend in other areas and is very strong charactered like myself anf has strong views on things. She is very straight talking and whilst that's not a bad thing, she would make very critical, diggin comments that weren't necessary or appropriate.

There have been many instances over the years and one or two occasions I had mentioned it to her, lightly at first. It would stop for a while and then come back, it was around Novemeber/Decvember last year after a really heavy family bereavement I had she again made another one of her imappropriate remarks and I basically cut off the friends ship. I called her up to tell her and she didn;t answer but I wrote her a note explaining to he rmy feelings and told her I want to distance form the friendhsip because of it and I've not heard form here since. though I've glimpsed in our church congregationa few times but not to talk to.

 

This friend of yours can end up becoming toxic if you don't nip it in the bud.

 

I don't regret my decision though I do miss some fo the plus sides of the friendship but I just felt that the friendship was becoming too negative, and sometimes you just have to do what you have to do.

[Shidoshi]

Excellent^^