First date tips

[rionmccloud]

Okay guys. This will be mys first date with a girl other than the ex in nearly 8 years. WHAT DO I DO? Any tips, comments, etc are greatly appreciated.

We will be hitting a pub with a live band playing. Probably in an outdoor sitting area.

Topics may include, what to wear, what to say, what to do.... Anything you can think of that's good advice.

Thanks in advance.

[asdf]

don't say "i love you"

[ger_in_love]

if ur going on a date u have talked before ?, is it a blind date or someone u met on the net ?

 

just be yourself, no airs and graces, u will both be nervous, so play it cool and if u make a balls up she will understand

 

i will be in the same prediciment in 2 weeks time but its only 3 mts after an 8 yr relationship

 

so im lookin for advice too

take care

ger

[janeeka]

Relax, be yourself. Don't mention your ex. Ask questions about her, everyone loves to talk about themselves. Seeing as you're going to a pub, jeans and a nice shirt will do. Don't forget aftershave! There's nothing sexier than a man that smells good. Give her a kiss on the cheek hello and goodbye.

 

Have a great time, let us know how you get on!

[punchy504]

yes how do you know this woman, how did you get the date? those answers could definitely dictate some things that are possible on the date

[hearo97]

Eye contact, smile.... be polite and gracious. Express and honest interest in her... ask questions and remember the answers, go for follow ups. Find common ground so you can have conversation rather than playing some silly version of "the dating game" where one just asks questions and the other just answers.

 

bring her a couple of flowers - not necessarily a full on bouquet, but a couple of daisies or something would be sweet. Compliment her, tell her she's pretty.

 

Above all, be sincere... be yourself. Enjoy the evening.

[punchy504]

remember... ask open ended questions, questions that require more than a yes or now to answer, rather than "do you like this band" ask "what other bands do you like" or "what types of music do you listen to"

[punchy504]

oh and if you are feeling very nervous and feel like you're flubbing it, don't be afraid to tell her that, tell her, without getting into anything about your ex, that you haven't been on a date in a while, and you're nervous.

 

Any guy who ever told me on a date that he was nervous immediately endeared himself to me. When sincere it shows that you do care what she thinks, even if you always appear confident.

[Day_Walker]

I believe the general idea is to have fun but you still want to be yourself, dont put pressure on yourself because it only is a date. I would stay way from heavy topics and keep things light hearted.

[chai714]

It might be difficult holding a conversation while listening to a live band. If and when you get the chance to really talk to her, make the conversation about her, her, and her. Ask her about herself, give some feedback, then shift the conversation back to her. Humans in general enjoy talking about themselves so this should be easy. If she talks about something you have in common, make sure to give her some feedback. Remember, common ground breeds fondness - the more in common you have with someone, the more likely something is to come out of dating. Be able to read her body lanuage to guage how she feels about you as well. If you don't know how already, go and do your homework. Good luck.

[annie24]

Whatever you do, do NOT talk about your ex! Like punchy said - it's ok if you say, "you know - I'm a little nervous." I've had guys say that to me, and it is endearing. But, don't go into "I just got out of an 8 year relationship." If a guy said that to me, I would consider myself "the rebound girl" and I'd figure that he needs a therapist right now more than a gf. And, I would most likely not go out with him again....

 

Be vauge if she asks. You can say, "I got out of a relationship a few months ago. But, that is in the past now."

 

Just have fun, talk about music, vacations, old silly high school stories, etc....

 

Good luck!

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

Make her laugh. It's the oldest, most simple trick in the book.

[Iceman26]

I agree, make her laugh, ask open ended questions, dont talk about the ex! Smile a lot. First dates are almost the same thing as job interviews.

 

- Do not bring flowers (its a first date, and if the date doesnt go anywhere then thats more money wasted.)

 

- If you are picking her up, make sure your car is clean.

 

- Open doors for her.

 

- Be courteous, kind, and polite.

 

- I wouldn't give her many compliments.

 

- Turn your cell phone off.

 

- I wouldnt initiate conversations about religion, politics or sex.

 

- Do not go out with a loaded gun if you know what I mean(Watch "Something about Mary"). I say this because you will be in close quarters with her, and the last thing you want on a first date (unless the date goes really well and you are up for that) is a surfacing submarine.

 

- Having a buzz is cool, it takes the edge off. Do not get roaring drunk but I am sure that goes without saying.

 

- Walk her to her door at the end of the date. Do not expect a kiss or lean in for one if her body language doesnt indicate she wants one. Try to keep it to a simple handshake or light hug.

 

- If the date went well, call her the next day to tell her that you had a great time and would like to see her on (fill in the date). Be specfic and set plans, nobody likes vagueness, like the "oh yeah, ill give you a call sometime next weekend, not sure what I am doing yet."

 

Let us know how the date goes and have fun!

[lifeiscash]

When you go out with her remember YOU are the catch not her. Thinking this will make it easier for you. She has to PROVE herself to you. Remember to be a gentleman, open doors for her, etc. Don't by flowers, that would be kinda weird and maybe even seem desperate. Just have a great time and tell yourself "hey, I'm a great person and this is HER opportunity to interest me".

 

When you are sitting look her straight in the eye when your talking with her. Great eye contact means you are dominant and not intimidated. Also lift up your posture, don't be slouching and all that, women tend to notice little things that men generally don't. I also agree ask her non direct questions. And remember silence can sometimes be your friend. I had it many time where we had that AKWARD SILENCE and your thinking, okay clutz what am I to say... well funny thing is, you don't have to say anything. Enjoy the silence and let HER worry about what to say. Also you do NOT have to agree with her on everything you talk about. If you have a different opinion, let her know about it, but in a soothing manner. To always agree with someone is boring. I think everyone posting here for your question is right on track.

 

I hope you have a great time and let us know how the date turns out

[sirhcorg]

There are great tips here. I know this isn't my post but how much should you talk in the car on the way to/on the way back the location? I seem to talk a lot (rare if there's silence) and if there is silence, I feel the date isn't getting off on the right step or it is boring.

[rionmccloud]

Thank you all for the tips and advice.

 

I work with this girl. I have talked to her a few times, and she seems to like me. Laughs at jokes and such. At this point, I'm not sure how she's taking the date. I don't know if it's a DATE date or a friendly meeting outside of work. Either one is fine, though. I'm always open to having new friends if nothing more develops.

 

It's not even time yet and I'm so damn nervous. I need to solidify the plans tonight and I am so terrified to talk to her!! You'd think you grow out of this stuff eventually. COuld use a little nip of somthing to calm my nerves. Heh.

 

I won't be picking her up, because she lives around the corner from the pub. I may driver her home though.

 

Nervous, nervous, nervous....

[rionmccloud]

Ahh!! She's here!! Can't breathe!! Good lord I shouldn't be this nervous.... I was going to go and set the time and day, and I just couldn't... Why? She already said she'd go! Breathing, breathing, breathing....PANICKING!!

[rionmccloud]

D'oh!! Not a date date... Oh well. I don't have to tell the x. Make her real jealous.. Heh heh. Kind of a let down though. Oh well. Always open to hanging out with new friends. She actually asked me how I meant it when I asked, because she does have a bf. I think she was more embarrassed than me, and I knew it was a possibility with her. Oh well. Maybe they'll break up before then.. Heh heh... Oh, I'm so depressed... Wait, Just keep smiling!

 

On the plus side, I don't have to pay for anything, I guess.

[The_Doc]

Sorry it didn't work out

 

Hope something comes your way soon

 

All I want to do is start dating my ex again

[Shidoshi]

She actually asked me how I meant it when I asked, because she does have a bf.

If she told you when you asked her out why did you think things were going to be different?

[Iceman26]

Well, ask yourself this question. How great can the girl be to date if she has a boyfriend and she is going to a bar with another guy?

[annie24]

erm.... yeah. Don't date girls with bfs. NEXT!!!

[rionmccloud]

I asked her before she told she had a BF. Yet again, I got my hopes up only to have them dashed and ground into the dirt again.