Dingedydong Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 So i have started seeing someone for 4 weeks and been on 2 dates with her currently and a 3rd planned. Shes a nice girl and i really like her and we have alot in common. We are not in a relationship currently because she was not sure about commitment yet but she does like me. So 2 weeks in i went and did a day out with a group of people and one of the girls took an interest in me and asked if i was single, i said yes because technically i am but just started seeing someone. So few days later she asks if i want to sleep with her, shes fresh out of a long term relationship and just wanted no strings no attachment sex. I initially said no, how ever a few days later i was tempted and said yes, i saw her on the friday night and spent it with her before heading home next morning. Now in the present i feel really bad like its cheating but were not in a relationship and not exclusive. I probably deserve criticsm for my actions but my question is do i just keep this quiet so i do not hurt her? On the 3rd date i will be bringing up the topic of us and her thoughts on it, if shes happy to be exclusive then i will commit too just her, i don't want to say that like i am not going to be loyal if she says no but it was more i dont know what position i am in currently and what is acceptable and what is not? guess i am just confused with the current situation. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 2 hours ago, Dingedydong said: On the 3rd date i will be bringing up the topic of us and her thoughts on it, if shes happy to be exclusive Dude. Slow down. 3 dates is way too early for that. You hardly know this girl and it sounds like you must have already brought this up for her to have told you this: 2 hours ago, Dingedydong said: We are not in a relationship currently because she was not sure about commitment yet but she does like me. What is the rush? Anyway. Unless and until you are exclusive (or having sex) your sex life is not her business. There is no reason to bring it up. You owe each other nothing at this point, so keep it to yourself. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 2 hours ago, Dingedydong said: On the 3rd date i will be bringing up the topic of us and her thoughts on it, if shes happy to be exclusive then i will commit too just her Yes, have the exclusive talk. But keep your sexual history to yourself. 1 Link to comment
Rose Mosse Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 4 hours ago, Dingedydong said: So i have started seeing someone for 4 weeks and been on 2 dates with her currently and a 3rd planned. Shes a nice girl and i really like her and we have alot in common. We are not in a relationship currently because she was not sure about commitment yet but she does like me. So 2 weeks in i went and did a day out with a group of people and one of the girls took an interest in me and asked if i was single, i said yes because technically i am but just started seeing someone. So few days later she asks if i want to sleep with her, shes fresh out of a long term relationship and just wanted no strings no attachment sex. I initially said no, how ever a few days later i was tempted and said yes, i saw her on the friday night and spent it with her before heading home next morning. Now in the present i feel really bad like its cheating but were not in a relationship and not exclusive. I probably deserve criticsm for my actions but my question is do i just keep this quiet so i do not hurt her? On the 3rd date i will be bringing up the topic of us and her thoughts on it, if shes happy to be exclusive then i will commit too just her, i don't want to say that like i am not going to be loyal if she says no but it was more i dont know what position i am in currently and what is acceptable and what is not? guess i am just confused with the current situation. You're only seeing one another and there's no exclusivity so no need to feel guilty. This isn't a relationship. It seems you have feelings for her so be honest about that when you next meet. 1 Link to comment
Kwothe28 Posted August 5, 2022 Share Posted August 5, 2022 Its an interesting one. You are dating this girl. But you havent said that you did anything with the girl aside of 2 dates. As she might as well be "a dud"(not sure about being with you or even commitment) and maybe nothing even will happen between you, there is no need to bring some girl that you did ONS into equasion. Just leave it be. Also please dont tell her that you would be loyal or something like that, just see if she wants to be with you or not. Because by the looks of things you dont even know that. 1 Link to comment
catfeeder Posted August 5, 2022 Share Posted August 5, 2022 If you're not sexually active with the one you're dating, then there's no need to raise your private behavior beyond her. Cross the bridge of sexual health when she's ready to go there with you. Link to comment
smackie9 Posted August 5, 2022 Share Posted August 5, 2022 When they are on the fence about commitment, but like your company...I dunno I'm getting the impression you are in the friends zone. Link to comment
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