He broke up with me because of my ex

[arjumand]

Wow, he really is bad rubbish. You can most definitely do better. And his wife-to-be is certainly getting no prize — a dishonest two-timer with no ethics. Thank heavens it isn’t you. 

[JoyfulCompany]

Happy belated birthday to you. Your last personal year was tough but you dodged at least two bullets and that's actually good - in fact I'm sure it's for your best. I wish you health and happiness from now on. Leave the past in the past and cheer up.

Negative attention is still attention and a validation "reward". Do not reward your ex by reaching out, he doesn't deserve it (neither of your two recent ex-es do). I understand it's hurtful but process it on your own (of course - reach out to friends and/or therapy, whatever you need). Maybe this time really consider blocking, so that you don't get "merry Christmas"-es, "happy new year"-s and "how are you"-s. Receiving messages, even once in a blue moon, doesn't help you to move on.

You shouldn't have blamed yourself, you didn't do anything wrong back then. How do you know he was already in another relationship? Some people just jump quickly to engagement/marriage (not saying I find it healthy), how do you know that's not the case? I'm asking because they are different issues to get over - being heartlessly mislead vs. your ex quickly moving on. But even that doesn't matter so much. You should be careful, take your time and not ignore suspicious behaviour when dating. Good luck, girl.

 

[chimmychu]

10 minutes ago, JoyfulCompany said:

Happy belated birthday to you. Your last personal year was tough but you dodged at least two bullets and that's actually good - in fact I'm sure it's for your best. I wish you health and happiness from now on. Leave the past in the past and cheer up.

Negative attention is still attention and a validation "reward". Do not reward your ex by reaching out, he doesn't deserve it (neither of your two recent ex-es do). I understand it's hurtful but process it on your own (of course - reach out to friends and/or therapy, whatever you need). Maybe this time really consider blocking, so that you don't get "merry Christmas"-es, "happy new year"-s and "how are you"-s. Receiving messages, even once in a blue moon, doesn't help you to move on.

You shouldn't have blamed yourself, you didn't do anything wrong back then. How do you know he was already in another relationship? Some people just jump quickly to engagement/marriage (not saying I find it healthy), how do you know that's not the case? I'm asking because they are different issues to get over - being heartlessly mislead vs. your ex quickly moving on. But even that doesn't matter so much. You should be careful, take your time and not ignore suspicious behaviour when dating. Good luck, girl.

 

Thank you. So i have been knowing this guy since 2019, but we did not date until this year. He is not the type of person to make a decision like that this fast. I don't know for sure, but i highly doubt that he just met this person at the end of July and decided to get engaged. I remembered the day he broke up with me and how cold and cut throat he was that day. He told me to get my life together, and asked me to reach out to him once i was ready, but he won't wait for me. When i look back at that conversation, I feel like he already had this person.  I will for sure not be reaching out to him because that won't change anything. 

[JoyfulCompany]

I'll illustrate my "different but same" point with an example from your topic.

Your most recent ex asked for your location at all times. By the context you had given, I thought it was a controlling issues on his side. Now, if he was already in another relationship, it might have been "not wanting his multiple girls to meet" issue on his side.
Both are super bad, super red. As I previously wrote - your location is nobody's business, unless you're a child or you feel endangered in a certain moment. Whatever his reason was, you shouldn't have gone along with such a ridiculous demand. Not that early on, nor... ever.

You seem to get attached very quickly and to not question suspicious behaviour. This is something to be worked on as you continue dating. Please, protect and value yourself.

[MissCanuck]

26 minutes ago, chimmychu said:

When i look back at that conversation, I feel like he already had this person.

Almost definitely, yes. 

I have a feeling there was a lot you didn't know about him. People who bark the loudest are often doing so to deflect from their own bad behaviour. 

[OdliDPrincess]

Don't any one think both guys are rubbish?

[MissCanuck]

5 minutes ago, OdliDPrincess said:

Don't any one think both guys are rubbish?

Yes, which is why I suggested back in July that OP stay single for a while. And work on her self-worth, so she will pick men who are worth her time and energy.