Should I get involved?

[WaywardKiwi]

Hey everyone,

My dilemma is this;

should I approach my boss about increasing tension between co-workers, to which I am thankfully cursory, in the interest of bringing the issue to her attention and also offering some solutions I have in mind?

I think it is largely unnecessary to go into great detail as to this tension. I work in a small, private international kindergarten in Japan. Essentially, the tension stems from issues between mid-management and those in the same or similar roles to mine. Both sides of the issues have merit, and I believe all the parties are genuinely good staff who want to their best in their respective roles. That said, the main cause, as I see it, is a failure to adjust to rapid growth, leading to poor communication and some poor management techniques and decisions.

As I mentioned, I am largely outside the drama. I have worked at this school for one year, and was essentially hired right at the beginning of the growth period. I believe I have excelled expectations, which I base on direct reports from my boss and management, and the expansion of my role and responsibilities (including to a number of training/senior type responsibilities). I am aware of the tensions because both sides confide in me and seek my advice and/or opinions regarding the issues as they arise. This puts me in an awkward position which I believe is outside my contractual role, although luckily I have experience in mediation, arbitration and neutrality in conflict resolution thanks to my previous life working in law. I have already, in direct conversation initiated by me, discussed some issues with mid-management and they have taken my ideas on board looking to the near future (new school year starting next month). However, as these issues are arise out of underlying communication and management issues (imo), they are continuing to pop-up and even causing some bad blood to form, meaning resolution will be more difficult the longer it goes on.

My boss is aware of the tension to some degree, as one of my co-workers has already contacted her directly regarding an isolated issue. However, she is also committing the majority of her time to other business (one related, one not), so I think she may not be aware of the breadth and depth of the issue. 

If I say nothing, I believe I can continue to perform my role well, and grow within the business. However, my concerns are that:

1. I will continue to be put in an uncomfortable position as a sounding board for both sides,
2. I will continue to be asked to take on unofficial roles and responsibilities designed to further management goals which I may not agree with, 
3. Tensions may escalate to the point where co-workers resign, and this will cause disruption which will effect me somewhat (plus, I like my current co-workers and think they are good at their jobs),

If I contact my boss, I intend to lay out what I am seeing going on, and suggest a team meeting in the next two weeks (while we have no classes and we are preparing for the next school year) geared toward mediated resolution. I am considering offering to lead or facilitate such a meeting, given I have some experience and think both sides respect me enough to go with it. However, my fear is that such a meeting might backfire, which one or both sides coming to resent me and make my work life more difficult. 

So, after all that, any advice is welcome.

Thanks,

T 

[Lambert]

I am not familiar with Japanese culture so I'm not sure if my advice is appropriate, so take what helps and leave the rest...

I would not go to my boss. Rather address the issues within your control

1 hour ago, WaywardKiwi said:

• I will continue to be put in an uncomfortable position as a sounding board for both sides,

Don't allow yourself to be a sounding board.  Tell people you wish they would work it out  themselves because it is bothering you.

 

1 hour ago, WaywardKiwi said:

I will continue to be asked to take on unofficial roles and responsibilities designed to further management goals which I may not agree with, 

Withoout knowing exactly what you mean....Talk to the people asking you to do this. Don't be a victim doing things you don't agree with for someone else's agenda.

1 hour ago, WaywardKiwi said:

Tensions may escalate to the point where co-workers resign, and this will cause disruption which will effect me somewhat (plus, I like my current co-workers and think they are good at their jobs),

You can't control others.  Staffing and job changes are part of life. Get used to it. 

At the end of the day, if it's not your conflict, so stay out of it and refrain from running to the boss with suggestions. As good as your intentions may be, it's not always received well by anyone (your boss included)

[Kwothe28]

No. Quite simply, it's outside of your role. It's on manager to solve whatever issue they have. Also, you believe that you can mediate between them and solve the issue. While in reality you would meddle in a job that is not yours so manager wouldn't be happy(as it suggests they cant do it properly so you need to step in), and maybe even got on a bad side of both sides in a conflict. Thus creating a problem for yourself. Anything that would create a problem for yourself, you should simply avoid. I understand that you mean good. However it wont bring you good.

Unless its something manager should really know(like if one of them beats the kids) or that interferes with your role that you cant do it, you should simply stay outside of it. You do your job the best you can. Others will do theirs.

Also, I love Japan and my professsion does include education branch. So I do love your choice of job T

[Rose Mosse]

Don’t point out communication flaws or flaws in general. That is disrespectful.

It sounds like you have a problem saying no and stepping aside or deferring to the correct individuals. Maybe this felt like positive reinforcement and encouraging (a boost in morale) for you at the beginning but it’s unsustainable over time.

Deal with the 3 points you listed.

1) Don’t share your thoughts/opinions or being a sounding board for both sides. You will encourage them to communicate better in the process without you in the middle. Politely decline your opinion and suggest one manager speaks to the other. 

2) Decline “unofficial roles”. Again, defer to the correct person. 

3) These tensions may be necessary for an influx of new employees and change in management. So step back and only focus on your work and tasks. 

 

[WaywardKiwi]

Thank you everyone for your advice, it is well taken.

I will not be contacting my boss, and I will attempt to shut down being a sounding board by declining to comment. I think I will keep my head down (while also getting sufficient attention through work to foster future promotion, as that is my mid-term goal).

I feel that with regard to the official/unofficial duties issue, it is slightly more complicated than simply declining, unfortunately. However, if the issue does continue and/or escalates, I can raise it directly with my boss as this does involve me directly. I am also due for renewal in March 2023, so I intend to seek a raise and codification of certain things at that time anyway.

Thanks again for the help.

T

[Rose Mosse]

Yes, do what you feel is appropriate and within the bounds of your job. If you require the input of your boss regarding the other duties then address that in a meeting and ask if they would consider giving you a raise based on what you do.

[catfeeder]

14 hours ago, WaywardKiwi said:

I will attempt to shut down being a sounding board by declining to comment.

I would take ^^^ this a step further by removing myself from listening to such conversations in the first place.

Otherwise, your presence could be considered tacit approval of the complaints, which could position you badly at some point when the participants expect you to back them up.

I'd stay out of this stuff and manage my own battles should any arise.