Do guys really do this?

[xcountryprincess]

I was reading a post on some random board and this guy mentioned that he didn't often approach females that he found very attractive, because he thought that:

 

a) They were already spoken for

 

or

 

b) They were way out of his leauge and would reject him

 

Because of this he often approached the "so so" looking girl and spent time developing a relationship with her.

 

I've noticed many gorgeous guys that could damn near snag a supermodel, with i guess an "average" looking girl. These girls aren't ugly or anything but i mean the guy could probably do a lot better.

 

Maybe it's because some guys seem so rambunctios and confident as they walk down the street, but most guys look like they would tackle a crocodile with complete confidence, i honestly couldn't imagine a seemingly confident guy not approaching an attractive female, maybe its just me, lol.

 

So is this true, guys if you see a gorgeous woman, do you really approach her or do you go for her not so good looking (but decent) friend, out of a fear of rejection.

 

Peace

[rionmccloud]

Everybody fears rejection. I would approach cute girls not beautiful ones. Then again, that also is because I prefer the "PLain Jane" type. I like girls that don't wear makeup because then you can see the natural looks, and when they do wear makeup they're knockouts. It's a bit bad, but I also see a really good looking girl and say "She's probably too shallow." Not gonna be true all the time, I know, but it's hard to get over the high school feelings. Popular girls don't talk to the freaks and geeks. I do see attsractive women and feel that they are probably spoken for already. It makes sense that if I'm attracted to them somebody else was, is, and wil always be, so she probably already found someone. Then again, I'm super shy and insecure. That could truly be the actuality of it right there.

[lifeiscash]

Great question, i really like this one. Well I am a very confident guy and seemingly like to date good looking women. I do realize that I can get a supermodel looking girl if i wanted to but the one's that I do know (and learned from previous experiences) don't have that much in common with me. Yes looks are great, and yes looks can get you far... but only so far. I would rather have a girl that is average looking, fun, and interested into the things i like to do, then have a bombshell girlfriend that is mainly concerned with themselves.

 

Not all girls are that way but many of them are hassles. The high-maintenance thing doesn't work well with me. For the girls that are very beautiful and don't get approached because guys do think you are taken or whatever and your actually not high maintenance.. I know you are out there.. my sister is an example. It's just that there are not many of you, and if they are maybe im looking in the wrong places! Either way, thats my opinion and I hope it helps.

[Empathy]

I've heard the same thing too. My mom used to always use that as an excuse whenever I would complain about not ever getting a date to dances in high school ( I was never into that kind of thing but I ATLEAST wanted someone to ask me! lol) Anyways, she would always say that maybe I didn't get asked by guys because they were intimidated by my beauty. That most of the reeeeally gorgeous girls hardly ever got asked out on dates when she was in high school. She was telling the truth about the part about her being in highschool but she was probably just trying to make me feel better. So, yes. It's very possible that what this guy said is true for a lot of other guys.

[1899]

Well think about it, if your not a very popular person or have showy displays of wealth, what ARE your chances of hooking up with someone who is a super model? If they realize what they have going for them, they may feel that they can do better than you. As was said, most of the time, the super model chick will not even try to keep a connection with you, why should she if she knows she could get a better deal. Its all about her looks, and in most cases her personality score will suffer. So some guys realize this and focus on someone in thier "league"

 

Its one of those "you need me more than I need you" cases (supermodel talking)

[Shidoshi]

I think it also depends on what kind of relationship you're after. Very attractive women seem to be harder to keep around because they're aware of how beautiful they are and they are used to being treated differently than others. Sometimes it's not about having the confidence to go ask them out, it's more like "am I up for the amount of effort it's going to take to keep them interested"? We all tend to put our best foot forward when meeting someone new, but sometimes it can "seem" like too much work with some people, especially very attractive ones.

 

It also depends on who you are. Let's say you're Tom Cruise, a guy who can date very beautiful women with relative ease. Initial "beauty" as in a woman who is considered "stunning" by most people, probably doesn't have the same affect on him as it does your average joe. He's been there and done that plenty of times, and he isn't phased by it. Not that he wouldn't want an attractive woman, but he doesn't "see" it in the same way because that in itself isn't "challenging" for him. Just a thought....

[MetallicAguy]

Well if I'm interested in the girl, yeah why not I can do it (I'm usually interested in girls that are "above average" attractive anyhow). If I saw like a picture of the girl and she was around my age and she was bangin' hot ummm I'd probably not go for it just because assuming she's already taken or has too many problems with herself because of her beauty (extra **** like makeup, expensive clothes, expensive perfume, etc.)

[1899]

Im not interested in the latest clothes, colonge, sports cars, and other mainstream stuff, BUT I know im a good person, So with strikingly beutifull women, ill try to start somthing, but my goal is to have them as "arm-candy" (Got that from someone here) or ornamental pieces. I would try my best to be my normal self around them and I certainly would not get my hopes up that they will stick around. I figure I have 10 years to find someone that I fit best with.

 

No use of exerting my effort just to keep one.

[asdf]

i've actually done some of my own personal study on beautiful women and how they do seem to respond to all the extra attention, and to be honest, after understanding them more, i've found most of them easier to get than normal looking girls actually.

[Shidoshi]

i've actually done some of my own personal study on beautiful women and how they do seem to respond to all the extra attention, and to be honest, after understanding them more, i've found most of them easier to get than normal looking girls actually.

Well....by all means, please enlighten us on how they're "easier" to get than more normal looking girls. I'd love to know why you believe that.

[asdf]

Main reason is because since most guys treat them specially, and in a more submissive way, you have a better chance to stand out by acting different. A more "regular" girl may get much more varied types of attention from different people, but beautiful women get nearly the same type of attention from most guys. Either the sleazy pick up line or the wimpy submissiveness (generally neither is attractive). You chance to be look unique to her is much higher.

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

I am often interested in the pretty but not awsome looking women over hotties cuz I value intelligence, humor, and other things more than better looks.

[candieeeegirl]

Main reason is because since most guys treat them specially, and in a more submissive way, you have a better chance to stand out by acting different. A more "regular" girl may get much more varied types of attention from different people, but beautiful women get nearly the same type of attention from most guys. Either the sleazy pick up line or the wimpy submissiveness (generally neither is attractive). You chance to be look unique to her is much higher.

 

hhaha i see u got it all figured out. yes, thats very true. i'm one of those girls who have gotten by with my looks my whole life and whenever one of them guys comes along that acts indifferently to my looks...i get stumped, and drawn at the same time! take the guy i was hooked on for example, he was very hot himself, and didn't act like all the other guys whose behavior im so used to receiving (special treatment, compliments, stupid lines, etc) he is so different from the rest of them and THATS the guy that got me hooked.

 

there is a HUGE downside to being attractive, for anyone, of course...it really makes u wonder if ppl are interested in u for ur looks or for a long, lasting relationship. like many ppl said, they wouldnt try to keep a 9 or 10 girl becuz she is just "arm candy" or used to attention or watevr...and THATS WHAT PISSES ME OFF! its guys like those that make me mad cuz i find that many guys dont take me seriously and its just like errrrr...like i dont even know if my current bf is with me becuz he genuinely likes me or just wants "arm candy" like someone said here. it gets frustrating.

[HajiMaji]

asdf is right on. I am relatively attractive but all my girlfriends have been amazingly attractive. I think it is common for people to be intimidated by overly attractive women. Im tellin ya though, they still have all the complications and challenges that any women have in a relationship. If ya go in thinking they are something special because they are so gorgeous youve already lost.

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

Don't worry girls and guys who think you are ugly or hot and cursed. You probably aren't that great looking. People usually either overestimate their looks or underestimate them. I am often amazed at who thinks they are hot and who thinks they are ugly.

[wlfpack81]

Don't worry girls and guys who think you are ugly or hot and cursed. You probably aren't that great looking. People usually either overestimate their looks or underestimate them. I am often amazed at who thinks they are hot and who thinks they are ugly.

 

Haha well I'm not one of those who overestimate there looks. I know I'm fairly below average to maybe near average (if a girl has had a case of beer or something LOL). I wish more people were realists like myself. I agree that there are those guys/girls who think they are God's gift to the opposite sex when they aren't all that at all. Only wish more people could be real about themselves like me.

[Empathy]

Ok, enough with the stereotyping. I've never thought of myself as being all that attractive but according to everyone else, I might as well be a model. Everywhere I go, people turn their heads. I've had guys stare at me profusely and even if I give them a look of discomfort they're still unable to stop staring at me. I've had guys kiss me out of the blue as if they're unable to control themselves. But I am in no way unintelligent or boring. My favorite piece of literature is Dante Alighieri's Divine Comedy. I'm very into the arts. I like the artwork of Alex Grey and Salvador Dali. I also like to read John Steinbeck and Oscar Wilde(haven't in a while b/c I've been caught up in fantasy books) I LOVE astronomy. I even own a 700 dollar, 6 inch reflector Orion telescope. I love it enough to buy a 700 dollar telescope even though I had next to no money at the time. Some of my favorite topics of discussion are theology, philosophy and psychology. But what makes me the most charming is my crude and very masculine sense of humor and my affinity for scotch, cowboy killers (Marlboro Reds in particular) and heavy metal/rock music. I get along with everyone and I always associated with the people that were considered the rejects in high school. But I never saw them as such. I hung around them because they were humble and I could have a worth while conversation with them. To me, they were the accepted and everyone else who thought differently sucked! lol. So, I'm in no way shallow either. I hope you get the point. hee hee.

[1899]

"candieeeegirl"

 

Why should a guy get seriously worked up over a really good looking girl? You just admitted that you get by on good looks. You didnt mention personality. Are you hard to please? Are you high maintenance? Its easy for you to get more dates than some of these guys because of your looks. If the relationship falls apart he will feel distressed about it like he did somthing wrong. He shouldnt think that seriously about you. YOU have to do more than just get buy with your looks. Until you prove that you are more than just looks and that you have a personallity you are arm candieeeee! (NOT saying you dont have personallity, I dont know you)

 

I Never will forget this one girl that I thought was strikingly attractive that I asked out and she stood me up but we ran into each other on different occasions, she would walk by with a differnt guy by her each time. I think her parents help her get contacts though. Meanwhile, im still stuck on the side of the dating road with an empty can of starter fluid.

[asdf]

Main reason is because since most guys treat them specially, and in a more submissive way, you have a better chance to stand out by acting different. A more "regular" girl may get much more varied types of attention from different people, but beautiful women get nearly the same type of attention from most guys. Either the sleazy pick up line or the wimpy submissiveness (generally neither is attractive). You chance to be look unique to her is much higher.

 

hhaha i see u got it all figured out. yes, thats very true. i'm one of those girls who have gotten by with my looks my whole life and whenever one of them guys comes along that acts indifferently to my looks...i get stumped, and drawn at the same time! take the guy i was hooked on for example, he was very hot himself, and didn't act like all the other guys whose behavior im so used to receiving (special treatment, compliments, stupid lines, etc) he is so different from the rest of them and THATS the guy that got me hooked.

 

there is a HUGE downside to being attractive, for anyone, of course...it really makes u wonder if ppl are interested in u for ur looks or for a long, lasting relationship. like many ppl said, they wouldnt try to keep a 9 or 10 girl becuz she is just "arm candy" or used to attention or watevr...and THATS WHAT PISSES ME OFF! its guys like those that make me mad cuz i find that many guys dont take me seriously and its just like errrrr...like i dont even know if my current bf is with me becuz he genuinely likes me or just wants "arm candy" like someone said here. it gets frustrating.

 

I kind of know what that's like. I'm a good looking guy myself, and I hate the stereotype that goes with it. Granted, it is nice to have lots of girls attracted to me, but I wish that they'd see me as more than just a superficially good looking guy.

 

I was once really attracted to an extremely good looking girl (who used to be a model), who could be a 10 out of 10 on most guys scales, but what I found interesting about her wasn't her looks, but more on how her looks affected her personality, and how she had to deal with some social situations. There's a kind of irony how people think that good looking people are unfairly gifted, but in reality, good looks come with a lot of drawbacks people don't see either. The pros are literally just visible, but the cons are invisible. And I guess it's just that kind of sad irony that I found beautiful about her. Not her face or body. After that, I started viewing good looks differently.

[Empathy]

oops. HAHAHA. I sooooo thought that last post was directed at me (the one by 1899). I need to get my dislexia worked out.

[asdf]

lol, i was gonna ask you what you meant then saw that you edited your post.

[candieeeegirl]

you're right...i should probably start developing a better personality. i know it's sad...i never had to develop it. all my life i've been just too used to walking into places and getting attention whether i like it or not. i know my weakness is that im guarded and shy...i KNOW that i wouldn't be able to get jobs and get through interviews if it weren't for my looks. I DO HAVE SUBSTANCE THO...it's just, being quiet and guarded, it's something i wish i could change and hate myself for. i dunno. i guess it all comes down to the fact that i never had to develop personality and i wish i did, cuz after 18 yrs...its kinda late.

 

BUT let's not condone the thinking of some of the guys on here. suggest some ways a girl can prove she is more than looks when the guys ASSUME SHE IS NOTHING MORE no matter what she does. Just check some of what previous posters said....my goodness, those guys ADMIT they see attractive girls as nothing more.

[asdf]

you're right...i should probably start developing a better personality. i know it's sad...i never had to develop it. all my life i've been just too used to walking into places and getting attention whether i like it or not. i know my weakness is that im guarded and shy...i KNOW that i wouldn't be able to get jobs and get through interviews if it weren't for my looks. I DO HAVE SUBSTANCE THO...it's just, being quiet and guarded, it's something i wish i could change and hate myself for. i dunno. i guess it all comes down to the fact that i never had to develop personality and i wish i did, cuz after 18 yrs...its kinda late.

 

BUT let's not condone the thinking of some of the guys on here. suggest some ways a girl can prove she is more than looks when the guys ASSUME SHE IS NOTHING MORE no matter what she does. Just check some of what previous posters said....my goodness, those guys ADMIT they see attractive girls as nothing more.

 

I think that's harder for girls than for guys. Admittedly, girls do care more about personality than guys do on average. And people usually will stereotype you quickly within a few moments of knowing you.

 

I'd just suggest to wait for a guy who sees you more than just looks. For the very beautiful girls, there aren't many of those guys who can see past that, but you shouldn't be with anyone who can't see you for what you are. You can't portray yourself better by changing the way you normally act, and there's nothing wrong with how you are normally. Other people are just blind to see it.

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

Empathy you are my type of ga as far as your hobbies and "type" goes.

For everyone: uhh guys stare and freak out over homely women and hotties alike. Don't think the way men act torwards you indicates anything.

Oh and for the guy above, wlf, it's your attitude about yourself, not your looks, that are gonna prevent you from finding a cutie or whatever it is you are looking for. You can't think of yourself as unattractive.

As far as looks go, people are pretty influenced by image and social pressure. However I might add that there are good lookin' pervs out there who think 80 yr old people are hot so there is probably also someone for you.

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

One of the reason why guys get bashed so much as a gender on this site by both sexes is because there are a lot of people with very poor self esteem who come here.