Happy

[Edel]

Alright so 3 years ago I dated this guy and I'd say that period we had together was quite toxic. Not as severe as some stories I've heard but it was not exactly as healthy either.

We met as kids in high school but later lost contact for years. Close to a decade. We got in touch again 3 years ago and we just suddenly hit it off, if I should put it that way.

We always spoke... everyday.. every opportunity we had. Soon after, he asks me to be his girlfriend and I accept. It was such an exciting moment for me. Funny enough, we were both each other's "crushes" back in high school and neither of us knew about the other's. Seemed like the "perfect" situation.

But as time went on, we grew cold. Kinda like "Ugghhh I have to make time to talk to you again." It was that point we realised we probably rushed things. We broke up months after..like 6 or so. Painful but yh .. So we remained friends regardless cus we understood each other. 

Being on this friendship journey with him has been quite interesting. We still talk almost everyday but it's different now. There are no "Butterflies" now. We just enjoy each other's company and that's it. 

So for a moment, we were considering trying to make it work cus we realised all the things that didn't make the previous work had been self corrected over the years of just being very close as friends. Probably should have gone through this before getting into the relationship.

But then we later agreed that we still had more years ahead and that it'd be better to remain friends for now.

Right now we're both happy. I am happy. My friends even think we're dating under the sheets but really we're not. We're just two people who (can't deny) love each other but with some boundaries for a cause.

I'm not his girlfriend. He's not my boyfriend but I'm really happy with him

[Wiseman2]

What if either of you want a real relationship one day? This nebulous friend, not lovers but in love situation has a trajectory.

[SooSad33]

I had a connection like this a cpl times. Someone I knew back in HS days, connected again yrs later.

Did it work? No.  They were not who I knew back in those days.. Life's experiences over time caused some negative effects for us both.

If things dwindled for you two so quickly, not sure it'd be much of a change this time around either.

What's wrong with just remaining friends and not chance ruining what you two have now?  Often, crossing those lines of 'friendship' can cause a rift on the friendship you had previously.

 

[Batya33]

Lots of people choose to be friends rather than romantic partners -it's just the way it goes sometimes.  With your references to boundaries and journeys etc and what others think seems to me you're trying to convince yourself of what you want.