Ex blocked me again. We dated for 6 months back in 2019

[RyanFromSF]

Hello everyone. I’m in a deep state of emotional pain right now, because well my ex started talking to me a bit before Christmas. We called on the phone like almost every day that week. She said she dreamt about me about our past. Whenever she drove by my old house (i moved away) she told me that she thinks about me. I think she’s just using me honestly, i miss her pretty badly and i haven’t had any relationships until her. Then she ***ing blocked me on Christmas Day. Why would she do it again? We talked about why we broke up, and it felt kind good getting that out of our chests. Why would she wait so long (2+ Years) to come back in my life just to block me again? I’m practically done with her at this point and I’m not sure why she went out of her way to put this bull*** on me yet again. Why would she waste her time to talk about the past if she clearly has some reason to block me yet again. Is it out of attention? Was it just to check up on me? I need some clarity here so i can try moving on and healing. I don’t want to think about her anymore but she’s in my head randomly and then i break down because i don’t know how to properly process my heartbreak since she was my first gf and I’m 25 a bit she’s older than 21. I thought she changed as she’s getting her life back together like she moved out of her parents and is now doing doordash, and baby sitting part time. No idea why she opened up to me like this if she was just gonna throw me under the bus. This *** sucks and I’m thinking of getting some therapy again...

[boltnrun]

My ex used to do that whenever he fought with his girlfriend or when he had hit a dry spell (no success at finding anyone to "hook up" with). I figured it out pretty quick. 

However, I am not still in love with him so it didn't hurt after the first couple of times. I finally just changed my number so I wouldn't have to deal with him trying to use me to make himself feel better or to stroke his ego.

I would guess she was feeling lonely or wanted attention. 

How about YOU block HER so she can't use you anymore?

Sorry you're hurting. She doesn't seem like a nice person at all.

[RyanFromSF]

2 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

My ex used to do that whenever he fought with his girlfriend or when he had hit a dry spell (no success at finding anyone to "hook up" with). I figured it out pretty quick. 

However, I am not still in love with him so it didn't hurt after the first couple of times. I finally just changed my number so I wouldn't have to deal with him trying to use me to make himself feel better or to stroke his ego.

I would guess she was feeling lonely or wanted attention. 

How about YOU block HER so she can't use you anymore?

Sorry you're hurting. She doesn't seem like a nice person at all.

Yeah I’m hurting pretty bad and it’s gonna take a while to heal yet again. I think she just likes playing games with me but she’s a really nice girl i don’t even think she has these sort of intentions... yet she does them so idk. I tried blocking her but i got desperate and added her again but now i completely deleted her phone number etc but I’m not gonna block her until she adds me back and we can talk about this if necessary. We broke up on good terms, i never cheated on her she never cheated on me. I don’t even think she was with anyone else since me tbh she never told me that she had another man. Or maybe she did and she didn’t want to hurt me lol. All of this is a huge mess and i hope we can someone communicate again. I think it’s because i text her too quick and i get antsy when she doesn’t respond back right away. I really need to learn how to not do that otherwise it’ll just keep happening over and over again *sigh*

[boltnrun]

14 minutes ago, RyanFromSF said:

I think she just likes playing games with me but she’s a really nice girl

Do you realize this makes no sense? You're contradicting yourself in the same sentence. "Nice" girls don't like playing games with people, especially people they know are in love with them.

Seems like you want her to continue to be able to do this to you. Why, I can't understand. Why do you want her to be able to hurt you some more? 

I can only presume you're still "hoping", even after over two years. That's a shame because there are a lot of nice, pretty girls out there who would love to date a guy like you. But you'll never meet them as long as you keep letting this one play with you.

[RyanFromSF]

3 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Do you realize this makes no sense? You're contradicting yourself in the same sentence. "Nice" girls don't like playing games with people, especially people they know are in love with them.

Seems like you want her to continue to be able to do this to you. Why, I can't understand. Why do you want her to be able to hurt you some more? 

I can only presume you're still "hoping", even after over two years. That's a shame because there are a lot of nice, pretty girls out there who would love to date a guy like you. But you'll never meet them as long as you keep letting this one play with you.

You have a point there... maybe I’m just blinded. I need to move on but i can’t get over it. I’m having a difficult time... and idk how to talk to new people and get in a new relationship. I’m extremely introverted about approaching women for some reason. I’ve always been like that and i hate it 😞

[boltnrun]

11 minutes ago, RyanFromSF said:

You have a point there... maybe I’m just blinded. I need to move on but i can’t get over it. I’m having a difficult time... and idk how to talk to new people and get in a new relationship. I’m extremely introverted about approaching women for some reason. I’ve always been like that and i hate it 😞

You can get over it. But instead, you're choosing to allow her to play with you. As long as you refuse to put her in your past you will not move forward.

As for talking to women, you met her, didn't you? You've obviously got something about you that's attractive. You just aren't giving yourself the chance to even try. You seem to think you have to hang onto this not so nice girl because you fear you won't be able to find another girlfriend. That's a fallacy.

I can guarantee you will not find anyone else, however, as long as you insist on clinging to this ex from over two years ago.

[smackie9]

Dude she's extremely cruel. I suspect she's feeling low/lonely so she knew how weak you are for her, she contacted you to boost herself emotionally. Maybe she had a fight with her BF and for revenge she contacted you. At any rate she used you. She's not that nice girl you fell for. OMG please move on from her...block delete and move on for good.

[Jibralta]

If she isn't cruel, she's at least oblivious to your feelings and that means that YOU have to block HER. You're the only one that can protect yourself in this case. 

[SooSad33]

1 hour ago, Jibralta said:

If she isn't cruel, she's at least oblivious to your feelings and that means that YOU have to block HER. You're the only one that can protect yourself in this case. 

I agree here.. Is time for YOU to take control now.

Some ex's think they can/should reach out BUT don't realize the pain they've caused in the past - and again by contacting us again.

So, you do not deal with her at all anymore, so YOU can work on getting over her.  There is no reason to interact anymore, right?  Then don't!

We need to learn how to be stronger. To have no interaction in order to heal & move forward.  It is hard, I know 😕 .. But I've been there, a few times. ( many have).

Now, that you've experienced this, you know what you don't want.  ( the reminders.. the pains).

Fight it then... I find journaling helpful. Is another way to 'get it out'.  And I keep busy and avoid my phone. 

One day at a time.