Petty,childish, or valid?

[MOcha]

@boltnrun....my mind is made up. I'm not going back. I was told by a friend to just hear him out.  Whether he wants to try and get back or not. Not my problem. Not changing my mind. I was seeing what you all think. I left and a peace I have not had in a long time came back. I'm not going to lose it again!

[boltnrun]

Why does your friend think you need to "hear him out"? I don't see why this is necessary. 

He didn't care to "hear out" your concerns during the relationship. 

[Cherylyn]

On 8/12/2021 at 9:50 PM, MOcha said:

Update......I left. I packed my stuff and left. I tried to talk to him about how I was feeling and he flipped it on me and made me out to be a terrible person. So I left. I'm hurt and relieved at the same time. 

New Beginnings.....

Thank you guys for your input.

Deflecting, flipping it onto you and changing your perception of the facts is called gaslighting.  Google "gaslighting."  Gaslighting is psychological warfare.  The perpetrator makes you think you think you are the bad person, terrible person or the insane person while they refuse to take responsibility and blame for their harm and damage to the relationship. 

Good riddance!  I'm glad you had the courage to leave him.  I hope you can breathe easier and have peace knowing that you've since greatly reduced your unnecessary stress.

[MOcha]

@boltnrun....I'm not sure. He told me I was being too mean when I said I didn't have anything to discuss.. He said at least hear what he has to say. And that I would want the same if I realized I messed up. 

[boltnrun]

28 minutes ago, MOcha said:

@boltnrun....I'm not sure. He told me I was being too mean when I said I didn't have anything to discuss.. He said at least hear what he has to say. And that I would want the same if I realized I messed up. 

Did he listen to your concerns before the breakup? Did he take what you had to say into consideration? 

And why is what he wants even relevant now? He had plenty of chances to try to fix things before and chose not to.

You’re vulnerable to going back. I wouldn't be surprised if you end up giving him "another chance" even though you say you won't. 

[DancingFool]

1 hour ago, MOcha said:

@boltnrun....I'm not sure. He told me I was being too mean when I said I didn't have anything to discuss.. He said at least hear what he has to say. And that I would want the same if I realized I messed up. 

This is extremely manipulative. He is basically trying to guilt trip you. With friends like that, who needs enemies.....

You owe him nothing. He didn't just mess up once, he's been messing up for a long long time and you've been trying to talk to him for a long time and putting up with too much for too long.

That sense of peace you are feeling, it's telling you just how toxic and stressful this relationship really was. Good that you left him and don't look back and don't let anyone manipulate or guilt trip you into thinking otherwise.

[Wiseman2]

3 hours ago, MOcha said:

He told me I was being too mean when....

 As you can see, it's started already by engaging him. He wants his punching bag back.

Why aren't you blocking and deleting him from all your social media and messaging apps? It seems you're leaving the door open to go back.

That happens very often. Google "cycle of abuse". You may have to leave, go back, leave, go back a few times until you can cope with how horrible it really is.

[smackie9]

Good for you sticking to your guns! Hope life gets better for you.

[MOcha]

Hey All! One more update. I met up with him and we talked. I got the remaining things from the house that I missed because u rushed when I moved. Hey acted hurt and surprised I left. But I broke it down to him and let him know that noone deserves the treatment received and to please don't treat the next one the same. My heart was at peace and had no desire to stay or go back. You see...when your heart is tired...its TIRED! I was tired. I have a peace now that I have not had in a long time...I couldn't let that go because I know it's only going to get better. 

Thanks to you guys for EVERY piece of advice that was given.

You guys ROCK!

On to New Beginnings!