I think I’m falling for this guy . Please help!!

[Mink0320]

I met this guy online and we had a strong intense connection for 2 1/2 months but I think because of the long distance (🇫🇷 🇺🇸)and the quarantine ( his restaurant was closed of course )we got frustrated and shutdown for 2 weeks . He reached out but I felt like he wasn’t aggressive enough  so I didn’t push it and he didn’t either . He was nonchalant about the fact that he didn’t reach out in 2 weeks,especially after we talk and text every day.  

 

Ghost  silence for 3 months.😏

 

He text me 3 days ago saying he missed me so much.  I answered him plainly . He sent another text saying that its been a few months but he has not stop thinking about me and he misses me. I answered plainly again . When I realized that he wanted to start chatting again ( telling me how he has been busy and his restaurant is now open),I sent him a venting text 🤬about him ghosting me and coming back without giving me a valid reason to communicate with him again.

This is his reply 

« I fully understand your position.What happened was that I started to get attached to you, really ...I didn’t mean to disrespect you at all but it scared me a little this distance, I didn't see how I was going to meet you, I was a little stupid I admit. Despite these few months I still think about you, I miss our discussions, I miss your voice, I miss your smile, I miss falling asleep with you.you are a beautiful person, it’s me who is not handled.

I should add that im not asking for anything (I am the one who messed up anyway)”

I have not replied yet but I want to . I just don’t know what to say…,.

1.what does he mean he is not asking for anything?😳

2.is he genuinely remorseful?Does he really miss me? Does he want to make things work?

3.I want to rekindle it but I don’t want to get hurt.

 

Please help

[Kwothe28]

Well, he did "coated it in golden foil" with how he misses you and everything. 

23 minutes ago, Mink0320 said:

1.what does he mean he is not asking for anything?😳

 

Well he understands that he messed up and that its your move

24 minutes ago, Mink0320 said:

2.is he genuinely remorseful?Does he really miss me? Does he want to make things work?

 

So and so, for all you know he could be having some other girl in meantime so now he wants to get back to you. Or just obligations over work. So, be careful, he did ghost you for 3 months.

27 minutes ago, Mink0320 said:

3.I want to rekindle it but I don’t want to get hurt.

 

You never know that, especially with LDR. So, again, be careful.

[Rose Mosse]

You seem like you're looking for a relationship or something more grounded. Why would you get mixed up with a man overseas who works likely 12 hour days? Does he work in the kitchen of the restaurant or front of house? Is this a family business or is he pursuing a culinary career? What else do you know about him? 

If you're expecting him to do all the work initiating contact with you on a regular basis and fly out to meet you, these aren't realistic given his work constraints and the travel restrictions.

Limit your time speaking with him or let him know that you're not interested. Date locally if you prefer to meet someone for a relationship. This is a penpal buddy only. 

[Wiseman2]

33 minutes ago, Mink0320 said:

I didn't see how I was going to meet you

If you have not met in person, it's best to shut down this cyber fantasy. 

That way you can focus on talking to and meeting real-life single local men.

 Tell him he's right the distance is impossible and bye, then delete and block him and get involved in real life.

[Batya33]

There's nothing to rekindle and I wouldn't keep this cyber-buddy because you have feelings for him so you can't just be "friends" -meaning, romantic feelings.  I wouldn't try to analyze what he means because who knows -he's a stranger for all romantic purposes, you have no idea if he typed those messages, no idea if he is married, a man (or if he is whether he has multiple people writing to you).  What efforts do you make to meet people in person?