sex problems...looking for advice!

[jnelson]

Okay...had gf for 5 years...sex was great...no complaints at all...pretty much had sex on a daily basis....after 5 years together we break up...last year and a half we have 'technically' been apart however neither of us are seeing anyone else and every time we'd see each other (not very often - distance) we'd get together, have sex etc....

 

The last couple months she has been calling me saying she wants to be together, misses me...all that stuff....now, due to circumstances, we are living in the same city......

 

The last couple weeks we have had numerous sleep overs, dinners etc together, but hardly any sex...we've been together twice in 2 weeks (both initiated by her), and one time we were both pretty drunk.....any other time I have tried anything she's said no..

 

I am not trying to say that sex is everything but as everyone knows, it definitely plays a large factor...as a young male I am not happy having sex once every 10 days...especially now that we are so close (geographically)..

 

I talked to her about it and she says she doesnt feel comfortable right now...and she doesnt like the way I treat her....I really don't understand this as I treat her perfectly fine....the problem is that she is very sensitive and stubborn and nothing is ever her fault......

 

I really still like her a lot but I don't know what to do..I honestly feel as though I treat her well but all of the sudden this isn't good enough...what is her problem? I have never had any romantic troubles with her in the past, why now?

[RayKay]

Maybe she is realizing this "together, but not really together" is not enough for her.

 

You should not have any expectations of sex from her without commitment - I think she was hinting she wanted to be back together and when your response did not match her thoughts, she started to feel more disconnected from you and as such not as sexually into it. She might be realizing she needs more.

 

If you want to be with her, talk to her, otherwise maybe it is time to move on for both of you as this relationship is probably keeping both of you in a "holding pattern".

 

And what do you mean no romantic troubles in past - you two broke up correct? And still are not together, correct? Thats a big romantic trouble right there!

[jnelson]

hey, thanks for the response...

 

we haven't been together in a relationship for over a year....saying that, whether we were in a relationship or not, any time we were physically together, we have been intimate....I was just expecting what has always happened....

 

She said she wanted to be in a relationship with me, but once i arrived back in town that changed to a "see how it goes"....and the "see how it goes" included no sex....

[Iceman26]

Sounds like she is playing head games dude. Remember she is your ex for a reason.

 

From the way she sounds, I think you would be better off keeping things the way they were (if you dont mind having that kind of a relationship) until you meet someone who doesnt play games.