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Are long periods of sexual incompatibility survivable?

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4 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

And what is your game plan, Sinfu?

Wait until the pandemic is over, since this problem came the week lockdown started. After that, see how things are going after life adjusts to a semblance of normality. If there is still an issue, go to therapy. If that doesn't work/she doesn't want to go to therapy, call it quits. That way I'll have no regrets and not think that I've wasted a perfectly good relationship without trying to make sure there was nothing else we could've done. 

Edited by Sinfu
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5 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Unfortunately, you can't make someone want sex with you. You can read, have a game plan, go to therapy, whatever, but at some point you'll have to be true to yourself about whether it's working out or not.

On another note, scrolling through each other's phones is an invasion of privacy and a trust, respect and romance killer.

No one wants to be policed because of someone's insecurities.

Take a break. Reflect on what you want in a relationship.

I just can't see how it's not reasonable to wait until at least the pandemic is over for things to improve since this problem started to happen slowly week 1 of lockdown and there was no issue the week prior.

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42 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

The pandemic won't be "over" for at least six months. Can you hold out for that long?

And what if it isn't the pandemic? What if she doesn't want sex for another reason? 

I hope it is over in  six months, but the way the distribution of the vaccine is going it could be much longer 😢

Edited by Hollyj
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1 hour ago, Hollyj said:

It could be a year before this nightmare ends.

I was going to make a similar observation. 

The pandemic isn't going anywhere, not anytime soon, and the return to whatever we want to call normal is not going to happen on a dime, not going to be some day we all collectively celebrate, but gradually. And when that happens? Well, life being life, it's going to throw some wrenches in your spokes, or hers, and you'll have to address that in one way or another to keep the journey going.

In other words? This is your life—all our lives—being lived. Right now the pandemic is making them particularly weird, affecting you here, me there, others elsewhere. Later it will be something else. So in your shoes I'd try to find a way to approach this that involves more than just assuming the answer will come when the pandemic is over. 

Rather than think of this solely about sex—and fixing things by having more—think of it as you wanting to be closer to her than you are right now. That's a beautiful thing, and hopefully a thing you two don't have to wait another six months to a year to celebrate. Find a way to celebrate it without sex, and, who knows, you may find you both struggle to keep your clothes on. 

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2 hours ago, Sinfu said:

Wait until the pandemic is over, since this problem came the week lockdown started. After that, see how things are going after life adjusts to a semblance of normality. 

You're going to be waiting a long time, man. 

The problems here aren't only pandemic-related, so you need to start thinking of how you're going to address those. Otherwise, you're going to be very disappointed when the pandemic finally does start receding. 

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